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Discussion Starter #1
DH took DS in the car without a carseat today. It wasn't an emergency. Not even close.<br><br>
I want to have an amicable divorce (eventually- I'm in a space right now where I'm waiting to have some bills paid off and until DS is 3-ish). But I want to have leverage for stuff like non-vaccing and home schooling and EBF. I don't want to involve the courts. And I don't want to play hardball. And I don't want DS to sleep away from me until he is ready. And I am planning to move out of state.<br><br>
What do I do? Do I call CPS or something? How do I react? I don't want to make this a big deal, but if my DH tries to take more custody than I'm comfortable with and/or take me to court rather than do mediation (he already visited a divorce lawyer to discuss custody about 6 months ago-behind my back) I wanna have my butt covered.<br><br>
Already my documentation of *soft* abuse (hard dates, photos of bruises) went out out the window when my house was burgled... That reminds me- how do I document bullying?<br><br>
Ugh. I'm all over the place.
 

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Well start making your plan, get counselling, get all your information together.<br>
(safety deposit box might help to keep documents) have nothing that is jointly held. Also get a lawyer NOW, he never has to know you got one you can get a mediator or draw up your own papers but get some advice asap<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">What do I do? Do I call CPS or something?</td>
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calling cps will have them look into your life (nonvaxing etc might not be favourable) I might call the police annonymously as its traffic law not just child protective stuff.call the lawyer. I might just tell him he's not allowed to take the child in the car again period.<br><br>
bullying, get a therapist, keep a diary, post here.
 

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IME, do not get CPS involved unless you absolutely have to and even then, think hard about doing it. They're not friendly to our 'kind' and might even give your STBX ammo against you.<br><br>
Definitely keep logs of what's going on. Something is better than nothing. Get a therapist for your DS - then you'll have someone else documenting it and if you both are documenting it, then it's better.<br><br>
Good luck mama.
 

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also it shows better if you seek therapy that all these 'aweful things were happeing but you took it seriously' as when abuse happens and people do nohting if you bring it up later its kinda suspect better to document and act appropriately now. Most couples would not call CPS on eachother they'd find other ways what about suggesting couples therapy? then you have 'his' side documented too.
 

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as soon as you have a lawyer, have the attorney send a letter to the ex about car seats being mandatory. Otherwise, unless you can prove it I wouldn't report him. If you happen to see him without the carseat, and it is too late to prevent your child from going then call the police, if they will come out for sure. What you need is proof, that ex can't lie about, like a photo of car without carseats taken by a third party or something.<br><br>
It is a big deal so I would just say, no carseat, no driving . Has the ex always done this?
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Thanks, Mamas.<br><br>
I should have grabbed the camera- I was just so shocked to see it! I thought they were out on a walk.<br><br>
Yeah, Shilo, I read your post. It DOES suck to see those dreams shattered (SAHM, homeschool, etc.). I'm really feeling it. Grieving is part of it for me right now. And I'm working on getting to "Yes".
 

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I think I did most of my grieving in the marriage not since he's been gone.<br>
I've been pretty even keeled but I can't stress enough to plan, sock away some money and don't make any moves without counsel as documenting the abuse will reep benefits later on, I think my jerkoff of a stbxh would have gone for custody without being documented.
 
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