[crystallane]

I am having a lot of problems teaching my son to read. He was in a special needs preschool for three years until last summer. We were having a lot of problems with the school, so I pulled him out to homeschool. The only diagnosis he has is adhd. I have tried a lot of things. He played on starfall for a long time, he watches letter factory some, we are doing the before the code series, and I signed him up for time4learning. He knows the sounds of letters but cant seem to be able to figure out what sound comes at the start of a word. Which is what the before the code books are doing. We are almost at the end of book c, and I dont think we should move on to exlpode the code. It doesnt help that my mom, who lives two doors down with twins my sons age in public school, is constantly telling me he should be in school. Anyway, my point is is there any programs anyone would recommend or should I leave it alone? Part of me wants to put him in school because I feel like I am just screwing this all up.

 

[joy_seeker]

A couple of questions...

How old is your ds? Even kids in school are legally (although some teachers will disagree but that's another thread) considered "behind" unless they aren't reading by age 8 1/2. I taught sp.ed and it is considered average to read by the time you are 7 and anything 1 and a half years before or after that age falls into the "normal" spectrum.

This next question always gets me raised eybrow looks but bear with me, lol. Can he skip? I don't mean gallop with one leg either, I mean a fluid skipping, changing which leg leads, motion. A child who can't skip hasn't reached the developmental milestone of left and right brain cooperation that is necessary for reading. My daughter could read letters, say sounds, and even after drilling (she was in ps then, ugh) could read words. But she couldn't read for meaning and understanding until the beginning of 2nd grade and it was, not surprisingly, at almost exactly (within 2 weeks in fact) the same time that she figured out how to skip.

Now, this doesn't mean teach your son to skip and then he'll be able to read, you can't really teach skipping to a child who isn't developmentally ready and you can't really teach true reading (beyond just simply reading the words) to a child who isn't developmentally ready.

I would continue reading to your ds, pointing out words that you see on road signs and store fronts, maybe even label some things in your house with index cards (like the table, the door, etc.). For those that think your child should be in school my standard response has become, "I don't just want my kids to learn _________ (insert reading, geography, math, etc) I want them to LOVE it." When kids are forced to drill word reading when they aren't really ready it often squelches that love for reading. That's not to say that programs don't work, just make sure your ds is ready for them before you use them.

HTH! (((hugs)))

 

[True Blue]

If you want to try a program, headsprout is good. My son was stuck at that same point for a while and this is what helped him through...kind of brought it all together for him.

 

[crystallane]

No he cant skip. He was 6 in Nov. Thank you. I know these things, but with my mom constantly on my butt about it its hard. My little sister is in 2nd. grade and hates to read. My mom complains about it and I want to tell her maybe school has something to do with it, but I keep my mouth shut. Wish she would do the same. I guess I will chill out and start reading to him more.

 

[crystallane]

We tried headsprout and he didnt like it. He does seem to like time4learning okay. They grade the things he does and the L.A. he fails most of it, but the math he does really well. I just dont think I have figured out his learning style yet.

 

[umami_mommy]

my DS is 6.5 (6 in july) and is very bright and advanced verbally and in math but doesn't read yet. this appears normal to me.

1.) did you deschool at all after he left school? (both you and him)

2.) do you read (for yourself?)

3.) how much do you read to him for pleasure?

i would highly recommend you do you do 1-3 daily for 6 months and then reevaluate. the more you push him the more he'll resist and worse it will get. if you give him nothing to push against, then he can't resist.

and as far as your mom... i'd give you the same advice. if you agree with everything she tells you, then their will be nothing to fight about with her. just smile and nod your head and move on to another topic.

 

[crystallane]

I read for myself all the time, I read more than anyone else I know. I havent been reading to him as much as I should, that is something I will start. I deschooled him for awhile. We didnt really start anything formal until Dec. and I pulled him out over the summer. I already do that with my mom, I just keep my mouth shut. Shes like that with everything vax and circumsicion she can say whatever ever she she wants but if I say anything she gets mad and stops talking to me. So I just dont say anything but constantly have to hear it. I told her yesterday I decided not to send my daughter to preschool and she wasnt happy. oh well.

 

[umami_mommy]

you really can't deschool him. he can only do that himself. i would assume that if he is resisting learning it's because he either isn't deschooled or he really isn't ready to read right now.

have you deschooled yourself? i'm assuming that you went to public school that is. our own attitudes greatly effect how we interact with and effect our homeschooled children. if you haven't deschooled yourself, you may be effecting him in ways you aren't even aware of.

make sure you read where he can see you. make sure you read lots to his sister and then to him if he is willing. if he is not, then don't push it.

i made that suggestion about your mom based on your PP. it sounded like in those posts she was really getting under your skin. keeping your mouth shut and not being upset or effected by something someone says are different things. perhaps part of your deschooling process will be to let go of your discomfort about what age your child is reading and what others may think of him (and you) because he is a late reader.

 

[crystallane]

Thank you. You have given me alot to think about. Your right that my mom does get under my skin. She cant stand to be around my kids, she makes that obvious. I live two doors down from her and she would not see my kids unless I take them down there. Its aggravating but I dont really know what to do about it. My son enjoys the things we do. I dont force him at all. If he ever says he doesnt want to do it I dont make him. He seems to enjoy it he just doesnt seem to retain alot of the things we are doing.

 

[momtokea]

My ds turned 7 in October and reading clicked with him sometime around Christmas. A year ago (at your ds' age) he was reading simple cvc words but that's it. Give it some more time.

 

[scoobymummy]

Your son sounds a lot like mine. My son is 8 and had a really difficult time with reading until I completely back off and let him learn on his own. He, too, is ADHD. There is a fabulous book about ADD called 'Right-Brained Children in a Left-Brained World by Jeffrey Freed. He explained so many things that I'd figured out intuitively. He says that kids who are right-brained (most ADD kids) think completely differently than the rest of us. They think more visually than we do. He says that these children learn to read by memorizing how the word looks and links it to a visual picture of the word - when they read, they are pulling information out of their memory bank. My son is exactly like that. Phonics makes little sense to him - he can figure out the first sound, but beyond that it doesn't help him. So for him, the word can't and fabulous are the same level of difficulty. It just depends on whether he's learned the word or not. So it makes sense that they learn to read later, because they have to build up a word bank before they can read well. Also, apparently a lot of these kids don't hear vowel sounds well, which adds to the problem with phonics. Add to that the fact that most ADD kids are also perfectionists and you have a tricky mix. My son taught himself to read in secret - no pressure from me. Garfield comics, surprisingly, were incdredibly helpful - very short bits of text with picture support and age appropriate. Interestingly, he still hates reading out loud - Freed says that that is a really hard skill for these kids - it just takes them longer to read and requires intense concentration.

I'm not sure I'm explaining this all accurately, but that's the gist of it.

i just completely backed off, made sure he was surrounded with piles of books, read to him lots .... at the end of last year before I pulled him out of school, he was saying that he hated reading......now I can't pull him out of a book. He's still very secretive about it, I'm not sure how much he's reading text and how much he's reading pictures, but I'm not worried anymore. I feel pretty secure that as long as he loves books, he'll get it eventually.

BTW - my son can't crawl either. We just had a HANDLE evaluation that shows major problems with vestibular function and a poor connection between the brain, eyes and ears. We're starting exercises to see if that helps.

One more thing - lots of ADD kids are brilliant-- gifted -- just thought that might brighten your day!

 

[Ayla]

Quote:

Originally Posted by scoobymummy There is a fabulous book about ADD called 'Right-Brained Children in a Left-Brained World by Jeffrey Freed.

I was going to recommend this as well! We found out my daughter has ADD (without hyperactivity) a few months ago. This book has been the best help. It's absolutely wonderful.

 

[crystallane]

Thanks so much. I will pick that book up.

 

[umami_mommy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by scoobymummy Your son sounds a lot like mine. My son is 8 and had a really difficult time with reading until I completely back off and let him learn on his own. He, too, is ADHD. There is a fabulous book about ADD called 'Right-Brained Children in a Left-Brained World by Jeffrey Freed. He explained so many things that I'd figured out intuitively. He says that kids who are right-brained (most ADD kids) think completely differently than the rest of us. They think more visually than we do. He says that these children learn to read by memorizing how the word looks and links it to a visual picture of the word - when they read, they are pulling information out of their memory bank. My son is exactly like that. Phonics makes little sense to him - he can figure out the first sound, but beyond that it doesn't help him. So for him, the word can't and fabulous are the same level of difficulty. It just depends on whether he's learned the word or not. So it makes sense that they learn to read later, because they have to build up a word bank before they can read well. Also, apparently a lot of these kids don't hear vowel sounds well, which adds to the problem with phonics. Add to that the fact that most ADD kids are also perfectionists and you have a tricky mix. My son taught himself to read in secret - no pressure from me. Garfield comics, surprisingly, were incdredibly helpful - very short bits of text with picture support and age appropriate. Interestingly, he still hates reading out loud - Freed says that that is a really hard skill for these kids - it just takes them longer to read and requires intense concentration.

WOW! that's exactly how i read! i read a whole word at once. i don't sound words out. words that are broken up by a hyphen usually make no sense to me. vowels stump me and phonics are a mystery. i taught myself to read some time around the age of 3 or 4. i will look into this book, since DS seems stumped by vowels too. thx.

 

[Lillian J]

And here's a thread that may be a great comfort and help:
"I have a 7 yr. old non-reader" support group.

Lillian

 

[Lillian J]

Here's another thread that has a lot of good discussion about different theories on learning to read:
Talk to me about delayed reading instruction

Lillian

 

[scoobymummy]

I'll check those out. I'm always looking for more info.