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Whis morning I found out that a close friend of mine was involved in a car accident a few weeks back. Someone ran a red light, she swerved to avoid it. Her child died. I have no idea how to help her through the grieving process. She is 19, and her baby was just 2. Anything would be helpful.
 

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I'm so sorry. That's horrible.
I really have no advice on this except maybe to let her know that you are there if she needs anything. I know that sounds trite in such circumstances but at least she will know you want to help.
I couldn't read and not reply.

Jacqueline
 

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How very tragic...I am so sorry for your friend's loss.


The best thing I can think of is do NOT forget her and her baby. Even months and years down the road, she will be grieving--bring her meals, offer to help clean her house or run errands for her, send cards every now and then to let her know you are thinking of her. Mention the child by name and ask to hear stories of the child's life if she is ready to talk about it. Just be there and let her know that you are there if she needs to talk...
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by AllyRae
How very tragic...I am so sorry for your friend's loss.


The best thing I can think of is do NOT forget her and her baby. Even months and years down the road, she will be grieving--bring her meals, offer to help clean her house or run errands for her, send cards every now and then to let her know you are thinking of her. Mention the child by name and ask to hear stories of the child's life if she is ready to talk about it. Just be there and let her know that you are there if she needs to talk...
I very much agree. Down the road, when she has had a little time to heal and it isn't quite so sensitive, you could also do something in rememberance of her child. This could be just about anything, but something to let her baby's memory go on and on forever. I think with loss, for the parent, the hurt never goes away, even if others don't remember or think about it that often.
that is very sad and my thoughts are with her and her family.
 

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Oh how horrible! I am so sorry for your friend. I agree with AllyRae, ask her about her child so that she knows you aren't scared to talk about it. I can only imagine that she'd like to hold on to every memory she has and knowing that she isn't alone in that I would find very comforting (if I were her - whoa, majorly bad sentence construction but I hope you know what I mean!).
 

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I took a couple of days to think about this and I also spoke to my friend who lost her son a couple of years ago.
When David (her son) passed away, I went to stay with her. I made sure she was fed and that her house was in a liveable state, as well as helping out with her other child. I gave her as much space as I could, but told her that if she needed to talk, she could come to me anytime and if she needed to cry, I had arms and a shoulder if she needed them.
She said it was the most wonderful thing anyone could have done. Now I'm not saying everyone can or should do this, but what the other ladies have suggested already is a huge help. Ask her if she wants you to bring her supper, or if she'd like you to come over and have supper with her (offer to cook, and clean up afterwards). Let her know that you have a phone and that it's always on. Just be there for her and let her know that you love her. Let her know she doesn't need to be by herself if she needs company. Bring her a card. Bring her a live plant. Go to visit and do her dishes while you're there. Anything that makes her feel less like "The world is just going on like normal while I've lost the most important thing in my life."
I'm sorry my first post was so useless. It's always a shock to me to hear that a child has died and this reminded me so much of David, that I had to take a breather to think.
 
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