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I need some reassurance/encouragement

770 Views 11 Replies 8 Participants Last post by  stayathomecristi
Hello all...I am 38.5 weeks pregnant with #2 and planning on a VBAC. #1 was a horrible labor. After 2 days of contrax 1 min long and 2-3 minutes apart, I still progressed only to 4 cm.
I was transferred from a birth center to the hospital, and of course was given the FTP diagnosis and was sectioned.
I do not have CPD, although of course a doctor told me my pelvis was probably too small,
which I don't believe. The baby never properly descended into my pelvis, so I just couldn't progress.

Anyway, obviously I'm not far from delivery and I'm trying for a VBAC. This time we have done everything we could to set up a good environment. I do have to birth in a hospital w/an OB (no midwives on our insurance) but she is very VBAC supportive. We also hired a wonderful doula. I sit on a birthing ball for 8+ hours a day to help encourage baby into the right position (no joke--I have one at work!). I've read a ton, am doing visualizations, everything I can think of to put myself in a positive frame of mind that this is possible and will happen.

But I am feeling so nervous and worried that I can't do this.
I just came back from my 38w appt and baby is still as high as ever. And all I can think about is how this one isn't going to drop either, and what could be wrong with me that my babies won't drop?

What can I do to get into a positive frame of mind? How can I get over this? Rationally I know trying for a VBAC is the best thing and I want to succeed more than anything, but I am so scared of failing.

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can't write much at the moment but 2nd babies don't engage - drop- until a lot later than first ones. like they do it at the time labor starts, i think. try posting on the midwife forum
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You can do it, mama! You've just told us that your support system is in place--you've got an OB who's on board and you've got your doula. You have more than MANY VBAC moms can dream of. Easier said than done (I know BTDT), but it's time to relax, start talking to your baby about his/her birth and allow nature to take it's course. Your body was designed to give birth and I have a really good feeling about your situation. I can't explain it, but I really think you are going to be successful.

What you are feeling is VERY normal towards the end of pregnancy, especially for a VBAC mom. It's normal to begin to doubt yourself, but you need to remember why you are having this baby vaginally and trust that this birth will be different. I'm sure that your OB has talked to you about the fact that just because you "failed to progress" last time doesn't mean that it will happen again. (Incidentally, was your baby posterior? Just curious.)

(As an aside, I just started a thread a couple of days ago about my lack of confidence and I'm only 15 weeks right now). The mamas who responded were very encouraging, so it may help to read that thread as well.

Is your doula someone that you can process with? I know for me, having my doula available was really helpful when I lost heart and needed to hash out why I was feeling the way I was. Sometimes talking about where you got stuck last time and what you can do to get over that hump this time can be helpful. Be aware of too much analyzing though, because it can hinder rather than help. You will know when is enough. Does this make any sense???

I'm available if you want to pm or e-mail.

Keep us posted, I'm looking forward to hearing another VBAC success story!
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are you open to chiropractic? look here to find one practiced in webster technique (that means they have received specialized training in working with pregnant women). pregnancy does wacky things to women's bodies and you might just be a little out of alignment and therefore babe might not be in optimal position.

or maybe babe just likes sitting high right now. many babes don't "drop" and engage in the pelvis until labor starts and some babes don't engage until active labor and the cervix is dilated to 4-5cm.

wishing you a peaceful end of pregnancy and a safe and beautiful birth...

You story sounds EXACTLY like mine!! I mean to the T!

My first DS I was in labor for aaaaaaggggggggggggesssss and only progressed 2-3cms, he never decended and they told me my pelvis was too small. He was 7lbs 5oz
With DS2, I prayed and researched and prayed and researched and prayed and researched

I began to have faith in my body (mind you there were doubts) but I DID IT!!!!!!! and amazingly my pelvis must have grown (haha sarcastic laugh because I delivered a 9lbs 2oz and 22.5" beautiful healthy baby boy at home!!!!!!

I believe one of the most important things is to have faith in your body. You body was MADE to give birth.
Start putting a bunch of positive birthing quotes around the house to prep you for labor.
The power and intensity of your contractions cannot be stronger than you, because it is you.
also heres a few:
"Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart."

"Faith, Acceptance, Surrender"

"Just as a woman's heart knows how and when to pump, her lungs to inhale, and her hand to pull back from fire, so she knows when and how to give birth."

Having a doula helped me A LOT. Thinking of you mama, you CAN do this!

PM me if you'd like
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Thank you so much, y'all!!

warrior mama--I just posted in the MWs/doulas forum for feedback--wonderful suggestion. thank you.

stayathomecristi--yes, my doula is fabulous, and i can certainly call her to express my fears and doubts. and i absolutely understand the whole "hump" thing; i'm scared about what could happen in my head when i get to 4 cm. but i don't want to focus on it too much. thank you for the positive post and words of encouragement!!

turboclaudia--yes, i am definitely open to chiro, and thank you for the link! there is a chiro in my area who is certified in the webster technique and i am going to call today to see if they can see me next week. i appreciate your input.

rainbowfairymomma--oh wow, what an awesome, positive post!! you were in the same situation as me? that is exactly the type of encouragement i needed to hear.
i absolutely do not believe that the reason i didn't progress was because of Liam's size--he was 8 lbs 5 oz and while that's not tiny it is just not huge, and i have never felt in my gut that he was just too big for my pelvis. but even so to hear you birthed a baby vaginally that was almost 2 lbs bigger than your c/s baby is so encouraging!!!

ita that having a doula may be the key for me this time. but i need to have faith that my body was made to do this! i love your idea of putting those affirmations around my house. my dh is going to think i'm nuts (well i think he already does
) but it's just a great way to constantly remind myself that i can do this.

Thank you everyone!!
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i am 40 weeks today and baby still hasnt decended. its pregnancy #3 so i know it will all happen in labor but still its very disconcerning!! i know how you feel. ive been having bad thoughts lately. we just have to relax and know it will all be better this time.
Liam's mom - just to let you know I am thinking of you and sending you some wonderful VBAC vibes
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Liam's mom..

Your emotions sound like mine, I'm at 40w1d and hoping for a hospital VBAC (with a midwife but OB back up). I never really labored on my own with DS (even up to 42 weeks), and after several attempts at induction (3), DS went into distress and I had a section.

I was examined early on to see if my 9# babe (DS) would have 'fit' through my pelvis, and although I'm normally 5'5" approx 120# it was determined that there is/was adequate room. During the CS it was determined, however, that there was an artery that did an external loop from and back to the umbilical cord which most likely caused the distress, and most likely would nOT reoccur.

I too have been doing my best to practice positive visualizations, read-read-read etc.. but I too am nervous, excited, scared etc... If only I dilate on my own I would be elated!!!

I also have had to think really hard and try to be accepting of another section if it comes down to that. I so want to have a vaginal birth, but don't want to set myself up for postpartum 'failure/depression'. I think it's important for me to realize I am birthing at a hospital with more policies than I wish, although it's one of only a few in all of Maine that supports VBACs.

Another suggestion would be to make sure you have a detailed birth plan to bring in with you to admittance when you go to the hospital. Not only does our plan address our desires for the VBAC, but our wishes for an unplanned CS should that happen. With DS we didn't even consider the possibility of a CS, and thankfully the hospital was very communicative with us on what was going on.

Let's all hope for more VBAC success stories!!

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thank you so much for thinking of me and for the positive, wonderful encouragement.
i just posted a relatively brief birth story--i had a successful VBAC on tuesday 4/18 and it is the most wonderful feeling.

i can't thank all of you enough for your support and i hope more than anything those of you who are planning VBACs will realize your dreams.
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I just had a gut feeling that it was going to happen for you and I'm soooooo happy for you!

Welcome baby Quinn!!!!
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