I need to be told I'm not the only one!

1786 Views 39 Replies 34 Participants Last post by sadkitty, Jun 29, 2005

addiesmom

Discussion Starter · Jun 8, 2005

First time on this board - need to vent already - sorry!

My DS was born 5/15 and I love him, love him, love him. However.....I can't put this child down! DD was this same way too, and it was frustrating enough with just her, but now that she is 2.5 yrs old, I'm having a really hard time dealing with another (eh-hem) demanding child. I will nurse him and he will be out - out cold, put him in the bassinet - he'll wake up in 30 seconds. Even when he is awake, wants to be held (which, who could blame him), and I want to hold him most of the time, but sometimes I just can't. DD needs to be fed, clothed, diapered, I have to cook, clean, etc.... And when I am holding him, I have to change his position every minute or so, or he will start to fuss/cry, so even sitting to read a book with DD and him is a chore. He sleeps with me at night too (with him nursing every 1.5 hours and squirming in between feedings), so I just feel as though I am tied to him 24/7 and I am getting exhausted. I had a sling with DD which helped a little, but it hurt my back and I would always have to keep one hand on her while I was doing things around the house (anyone have a better suggestion for a "poppable" carrier for a newborn?).

Sorry for whining, I guess I am just tired of hearing people's "easy" baby stories wherever I go and need to hear that I am not the only one who is slowly going insane!

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Cutie Patootie

· #2 · Jun 8, 2005

I know just what you mean mama! Dd was born on 05/25 and ds will be two next month. Not only is she a little cling-on but she is also a mamas girl.
Be back in a bit...she just woke up and realized daddy is holding her. :LOL So...you are not alone.

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fourgrtkidos

· #3 · Jun 8, 2005

Three of my four were amazingly difficult. Sorry, Momma, I can relate. It is hard. You are going to need to enlist some help from Mother, MIL, dad, sisters, friends, hire a Mother's helper. Find a teenager to come over and help you for minimal money, since you will not be leaving. Your sanity deserves it.You may need to let house work go and anything else non essential...... have your DH read this if he needs to so he understands. POST-PARTUM is VERY HARD, AND NO ONE PREPARES US FOR IT!

As for needing to be rocked, help and moving at all times. Homeopathic Chamomilla worked on mine, once I had found homeopathy. Good luck.

amybw

· #4 · Jun 8, 2005

sorry you are having a hard time!

he probably just needs to be close to mommy right now. After being attached to you for 9 mths, he is used to it. At a month old it is perfectly normal behavior. I was going to recommend a sling, but i dont have any advice for a different kind, sorry. That would be what i would try.

You both are going through changes. It will get better. Just remember he needs you mommy. Sorry you are feeling tapped out .

Amy

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ctdoula

· #5 · Jun 8, 2005

I'm sorry mama. Have you tried a wrap (like the Moby wrap or the Cuddly Wrap)? I have found it SO comfortable with my son, since it goes over both shoulders, and he just goes into a coma when he's in there, LOL.

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akmbloom

· #6 · Jun 8, 2005

my daughter is the same way. My husband often encourages me to put her in her co-sleeper "for practice" when she's already asleep but 90% of the time she wakes up immediately, and I'd rather just hold her and try to eat or whatever than have her wake up and have to put her back to sleep. I don't have another kid yet but I definitely sympathize with you, I don't know how you'd deal with having another - my only salvation has been the baby swing and a few really bright, really entertaining toys, and taking full advantage of the few moments I can while she's playing with daddy.

mamabohl

· #7 · Jun 8, 2005

both my boys have been that way...it's amazing how much harder it gfets when you have 2, huh? Deffinently try a wrap, I had the same problem with a sling and the wrap is much more secure and comfortable. I have the ellaroo, but they can be made very cheap. Just buy 5 yards of cotton jersey fabric and cut in half lengthwise, voila! You can find ways to wear it at www.ellaroo.com and www.mamatoto.org Also check the babywearing board. I have no family around to help and my dh works in the evening - the hardest time of the day of course, so I know how you feel. Try taking a bath with both kids when you need a little relaxer but can't get away from them.

Boobs

· #8 · Jun 8, 2005

Ben is nearly 4 months now and he's been the same way since birth. I wish I had the answer for both of us.

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Yo Becca

· #9 · Jun 8, 2005

Yes, I just have one baby and at one month I thought I might be losing my mind! I second the suggestions that you need a better wrap or sling. My DD also wants constant repositioning when being held in arms, but in a sling she is much more willing to chill out. I loved the kangaroo korner adjustable fleece pouch when she was smaller (but it's hot for summer) and I just got a Maya wrap and love it - it's nice to have lots of positioning options. There are lots of WAHM made back carriers that might be nice when he gets bigger (I used one as a front carrier as soon as my DD got head control).

GOod luck - and it will get better as he becomes more independent!

JoyAnne

· #10 · Jun 8, 2005

excuse typos- my so is napping in my lap because he would wake if i put him down...

my ds was the same and is now more tolerant of dh, bouncy chair while i shower...

what saved us was the sling- especially when dh slings him!

hugs-

joy

Nora'sMama

· #11 · Jun 9, 2005

Nora was born 5/13 so we're at the same stage...

Have you considered a Snugli or Baby Bjorn-style front carrier instead of a sling to wear her in while you do other things? We have 2 slings and a Snugli and surprisingly she sleeps best in the Snugli and it seems the most secure for doing other things while she's in it. The Nojo sling we have is the runner-up although it's hard to adjust it tight enough on me to make me feel she's secure while I do something else. We also have a Hotsling but so far she doesn't like it and I feel like I'm maybe wearing it wrong.

corysmilk

· #12 · Jun 9, 2005

all the advice about diffren t carriers is great!

I just wanted to ask about your diet? my first ds was very much like how you described your new baby. I had to cut out all dairy from my system. I noticed a diffrence after about a week. ( I was only pumping and I had to throw out all my saved milk too)

He stared to sleep longer too!! 3 hour stretch once a night :LOL
I don't have a link for you but i know you can do a search on here and find alot of info on cutting out dairy.

All the best

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keepin'itsimple

· #13 · Jun 9, 2005

This might be asinine considering you are on your second babe, but have you tried swaddling? My ds LOVED to be swaddled and would sleep very well after being nursed. I would nurse then swaddle and rock him to sleep.

addiesmom

Discussion Starter · #14 · Jun 9, 2005

Hi - thanks to all of you for your support and advice!

Swaddling - yup, done it - liked it for the first week and a half, then started kicking furiously to get out of it.

Dairy allergy - yup, got that. DD had dairy and soy intolerance and I had to trim back my diet (even to the point of reading labels for whey, cassinates etc.) So I've already done that - ugh! No more good food! I've even cut out wheat this time because I noticed a big increase in fussiness after eating some whole wheat bread, but it's only been a week - may be too soon to see effect (and I made a boo boo yesterday when I ate Raisin Bran - hey, I thought it was oat bran!). I feel like I can't eat anything now.... But thanks for thinking of it, definately a good thought.

cks321

· #15 · Jun 9, 2005

I have what I like to call a velcro baby which gave me this really great idea. (I just wish it was actually feasible, and they wouldn't wake up when you change their position) but I had this idea that I would make an outfit for me Completely outta one side of Velcro and one for dd2 out of the other side, so I could just stick her wherever I needed her to go and she'd be happy but my hands would be free.... :LOL

But hugs to you anyway...and I'm here right along with ya in this department

Mizelenius

· #16 · Jun 9, 2005

You're not alone! I thought DD1 was high needs until I met DD2!

mama23k

· #17 · Jun 9, 2005

Baby #3 (1st dd) was held 24/7 until she was 6 months old, which isn't easy when you also have a 3yo ds and a 16 month old ds! The only time she could be put down was during diaper changes or in her car seat during car rides--and she would scream bloody murder the whole time. I LOVED my hotsling during that time. I can honestly say that with that much contact I became a better mama to all my babies, because all that work became second nature to me. You'll learn what helps you the most and, before long, a velcro baby will seem only natural!

My #4 is MUCH easier--it really feels strange! :LOL

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cappuccinosmom

· #18 · Jun 9, 2005

Ds is the same way, though he's getting a little better now, at 6 weeks. The first couple of weeks, I thought I was going to die.

And there are still times, when he's particularly clingy, that I feel like I'm going to literally explode into a bazillion pieces if he wants to nurse again within the next 4 hours!

I hand him off to dh when I need hands free, but he doesn't put up with that for long.

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ladybugchild77

· #19 · Jun 11, 2005

Hi!
You are definitely NOT alone on this one...My dd is 3 months old and needs "constant loving" as well. She was just diagnosed with GERD AND I am beginning the heavy duty Dr. Sears elimination diet tomorrow - ugh...worth it though...I wanted to let you know that you are not the onlyone and I find my baby is teaching me more patience and love than I ever thought possible! Good luck and take care...

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Mizelenius

· #20 · Jun 11, 2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by cappuccinosmom
And there are still times, when he's particularly clingy, that I feel like I'm going to literally explode into a bazillion pieces if he wants to nurse again within the next 4 hours!

Wow! Your DS is content being nursed every 4 hours? Sometimes DD isn't content if not nursed every 4 minutes!

ETA: ladybug, I went to school at NIU!

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