[Steve's Wife]

...but I don't know what else to do. I am really not liking being a mom these days. I have good days, but I have more bad days. I thought I just needed more sleep. 18month old DD has never woken up fewer than 3 times a night, and it's usually more. We've been having some other stresses in our lives, too, but lately I'm just feeling like a crappy mom, I get frustrated SO easily, I am angry a lot of the time, I cry a lot, and I'm am just not the mom I want to be and the mom DD deserves. I really don't want to use drugs but I am starting to wonder if that's the best way to get out of this. I just don't want to be a crappy mom anymore! Does anyone else feel like this??

 

[Mama Poot]

I'm with you. Counseling has helped me, and I also take a progestin-only birth control pill and not just for its obvious effects. Left to its own devices, my body and hormones turn me into a very depressed/manic/anxious person. Being on the pill has calmed me WAAAAAY down. I don't feel comfortable taking anti-d's right now because I am breastfeeding my 10 month old. Is your little one still nursing? I also took St. John's Wort for depression before I had children and it worked very well for me, but alas it is incompatible with breastfeeding. If you are not nursing, I would try it.

 

[provocativa]

www.rebuild-from-depression.com an mdc mama (gale force) is writing a book about nutritional healing for depression. there is a good thread about the topic around here somewhere- I think the mental health forum. if your liver isn't up to speed, it doesn't process out hormones etc, making pms etc worse. without cod liver oil, extra b vitamins, and magnesium, my whole system is off kilter.

 

[Brigianna]

Fish oil, fish oil, fish oil! It is the difference for me between functioning and not. I'm almost asleep right now, but I'm sure someone here has more info.

 

[CallMeKelly]

Exercise can sometimes help. If you don't find another answer, don't beat yourself up if you go to anti-deppressants. It is important for you to be happy... how else can you raise a happy child?

 

[abel]

Please understand that you're not alone and many parents are facing this problem. Don't beat yourself up. Find other mothers and talk to them. It's good that you are willing to share your problems on this forum. Tackle one problem at a time, don't lump everythig together as this will make you feel helpless.

It always helps if you take mental note that you're about to get frustrated. When it does happen, take a deep breath.

We went through the sleeping problem with our toddler son. It took patience and love to go through this. It's not easy but we went through it.

 

[vermonttaylors]

Oooooh mama I have been where you are. I was on zoloft for the first 2 1/2 years of motherhood. Now I am seeing a naturopath and she has me on prgoesterone and more herbs and supplements than I know what to do with. It is helping a lot. i **** need to tweak the prescriptions a bit with her, but maybe that would be a good route for you too.

I just didn't want to be paying a major pharmaceutical company my money for the rest of my life without seriously exploring alternative options. If I have to go back, at least I know I HAVE to go back.

 

[Steve's Wife]

OMGosh so much good info in one thread!!! I am nursing my 18 month old DD. I am going to make an appointment with my DR to ask for a therapy referral, and also to have my hormone levels tested, and maybe my vitamin levels, too. I was thinking of seeking out a holistic doc for that. I started thinking about that after remembering this month's article in mothering about PPD and PPP.

I just got my first post partum period about 5 weeks ago and things seem to have gotten much worse since then, so it seems like there's a good chance it's a hormonal thing. I'm really hoping I have other options than BCP's.

Question about Fish oil - what kind should I look for? Do I need to worry about mercury?

 

[LuckyMommaToo]

I just wanted to pop in and say that when I got my period back after DS (around the same time as you; I think 20 months PP), I was a WRECK. A hormonal mess for about two months. Just happened to a friend of mine, too. Not to dissuade you from taking action, but just to let you know you're not alone.
-Erin

 

[Steve's Wife]

Thanks, Erin! that makes me feel a little better.

 

[LynnS6]

I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend the book:

Women's Moods

It presents a very balanced, reasonable explanation of what's going on, and things you can do to help. It outlines a nice self-care program: N.U.R.S.E - Nutrition, Understanding, Rest, Spirituality, Exercise that helps mild depression immensely. As part of nutrition, I too highly recommend fish oil.

If, after 4-6 weeks on the NURSE 'program' and fish oil, you're still feeling horrible, then I would recommend meds + counseling (the combo is particularly important, only one isn't as effective).

I know a lot of people on MDC are completely antimeds, and I find that unfortunate. They shouldn't be a first line of defense, but neither should they be completely ruled out. In my risk/benefit ratio, meds are better than being a depressed parent. A depressed parent has significant impact on their child's mental health, and I can't do that to my kids. My mother suffered from untreated depression, and it really affected all of her kids. She did the best she could, so I'm not faulting her. There just was no treatment available in the 50s and 60s. But, I'm trying to break the cycle. And thus, I'm on meds. I've done counseling. I will do so again if I need it.

So, take good care of yourself. Understand what's going on. Get some help so you can rest. Read Women's Moods. And do what you have to do.

 

[Alkenny]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LynnS6 I I know a lot of people on MDC are completely antimeds, and I find that unfortunate. They shouldn't be a first line of defense, but neither should they be completely ruled out. In my risk/benefit ratio, meds are better than being a depressed parent. A depressed parent has significant impact on their child's mental health, and I can't do that to my kids.

: Though it wasn't me as the mother, it was my DH. You have to weigh everything and don't beat yourself up if you DO need them.

 

[tiffer23]

BTDT.

But if meds make me a better mom for my son, then I will stay on them forever. He's the most important thing to me, I'm willing to do what I have to to make sure I am the best mommy I can be for him. Right now that is being on some meds. Eventually, I may be able to get off of them. If not, then that's okay too.