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but I wish I could have done so from a more grounded place and have been able to have offered constructive alternatives.
My son was taking a four week little linker golf class. Today was the last class. I had been upset over a time out I witnessed last week; where a young child probably four had been left for twenty minutes on the side line. When the instructor finally went over to him, the child just sobbed. I had wanted to go to the child, but I was pretty sure his mother was around; so i didn't want to interfere - if she felt it was ok.
Today we had a different instructor. He took the boys to the putting green and had them stand in a line. One four year old boy, I'll call him Luke, had missed last weeks class. Standing in line, he kind of stomped his putter into the green. Once, and really it was not that hard. The instructor; who is a big man, freaked. He yelled at the kid. "No, that is not OK! You dont' do that!" He then walked over and yanked the putter out of his hand. " You will not get this back until your mother comes." The little boy just stood there looking stunned.
I turned around and his mother was making her way over as she had her other little son probably around 2 years old. She hadn't seen anything.
I couldn't handle it. I walked over and put my arm on Luke's shoulder and looked at him and said something like "It's ok." Then I looked at the instructor and said "Luke was not here last week. He doesn't know." My heart was racing so I wasn't able to really think about what I wanted to say. The instructor looked at me and said " He doesn't understand english" The little boy is Chinese and his english is fine. I felt angrier. I just stared at him and said "He understands." He said something about "where is his mother?" I said she is coming. She was now coming closer, but still had no idea about what was happening. I went up to her and said something like the instructor has taken Luke's putter, you need to go to him.
She thanked me after when I told her what happened.
But you know, I feel like I didn't say the right thing. When I said "he doesn't know" - I wish I had said something like, Instead of grabbing the putter away, could you show him what you want him to do with it. That these are young children, they need reminders. This is all new to them. Please treat them with respect.
My neighbour gave me the name of the person who is in charge of the golf programmes and suggested that I send some feedback. I want to do this. The instructors are good at golf, they don't seem to know how to work with young children and I want to give some specific examples for alternative ways to interact with them.
They also did some stuff that drove me crazy. Started making the play really competetive. "Who can hit the farthest, etc. Whoever wins gets a gold star and a ride in a golf cart?" The week before everyone had been promised a ride in the golf cart. After today's class no one had gotten gold stars or a ride in the golf cart. But when they started making it competitive, the atmosphere changed, from just learning and playing, to focussing on how the other kids were doing.
Anyway, confrontation is really hard for me and I don't like doing it. But I think it was the right thing to do - I just wish I could do it from a much more grounded place. I feel like my inside is in panic mode.
My son was taking a four week little linker golf class. Today was the last class. I had been upset over a time out I witnessed last week; where a young child probably four had been left for twenty minutes on the side line. When the instructor finally went over to him, the child just sobbed. I had wanted to go to the child, but I was pretty sure his mother was around; so i didn't want to interfere - if she felt it was ok.
Today we had a different instructor. He took the boys to the putting green and had them stand in a line. One four year old boy, I'll call him Luke, had missed last weeks class. Standing in line, he kind of stomped his putter into the green. Once, and really it was not that hard. The instructor; who is a big man, freaked. He yelled at the kid. "No, that is not OK! You dont' do that!" He then walked over and yanked the putter out of his hand. " You will not get this back until your mother comes." The little boy just stood there looking stunned.
I turned around and his mother was making her way over as she had her other little son probably around 2 years old. She hadn't seen anything.
I couldn't handle it. I walked over and put my arm on Luke's shoulder and looked at him and said something like "It's ok." Then I looked at the instructor and said "Luke was not here last week. He doesn't know." My heart was racing so I wasn't able to really think about what I wanted to say. The instructor looked at me and said " He doesn't understand english" The little boy is Chinese and his english is fine. I felt angrier. I just stared at him and said "He understands." He said something about "where is his mother?" I said she is coming. She was now coming closer, but still had no idea about what was happening. I went up to her and said something like the instructor has taken Luke's putter, you need to go to him.
She thanked me after when I told her what happened.
But you know, I feel like I didn't say the right thing. When I said "he doesn't know" - I wish I had said something like, Instead of grabbing the putter away, could you show him what you want him to do with it. That these are young children, they need reminders. This is all new to them. Please treat them with respect.
My neighbour gave me the name of the person who is in charge of the golf programmes and suggested that I send some feedback. I want to do this. The instructors are good at golf, they don't seem to know how to work with young children and I want to give some specific examples for alternative ways to interact with them.
They also did some stuff that drove me crazy. Started making the play really competetive. "Who can hit the farthest, etc. Whoever wins gets a gold star and a ride in a golf cart?" The week before everyone had been promised a ride in the golf cart. After today's class no one had gotten gold stars or a ride in the golf cart. But when they started making it competitive, the atmosphere changed, from just learning and playing, to focussing on how the other kids were doing.
Anyway, confrontation is really hard for me and I don't like doing it. But I think it was the right thing to do - I just wish I could do it from a much more grounded place. I feel like my inside is in panic mode.
