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I super need dh these days

600 Views 15 Replies 11 Participants Last post by  grace's voice
I feel like such a little wimpling. I just need dh around all the time, I feel so alone when he's not here, which is most of the time. The past 2 weeks he worked his regular 80 hours, plus 58 just in overtime. And that's just his full time job, he also works part time for a chiropractor. PLUS he's in school and has class 2 nights a week. Then he plays basketball at Church Thursday nights after school and Saturday mornings. So Thursdays I don't see him from about 3 am until 10:30-11 pm. When he is here he's studying or sleeping. I'm here alone with dd all day. I cry off and on throughout the day. I'm miserably uncomfortable with this pregnancy. I just need him around more, and there's no way to do that. Actually, he's still got 6 years of school left... so it'll be quite a while before we get any time together. We are going camping for 2 days next weekend for our anniversary (with dd of course, she really needs him too) so we're really looking forward to that. Is anyone else getting clingier the closer you get to birth, or is this just me?
Thanks for the vent.
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Oh totally. I just broke down crying this morning, told him that I "miss" him, because he gets pretty absorbed in his computer games and doesn't go to bed at the same time as me anymore. I'm a whole lot clingier. I'm not sure if it's because I'm seeing less of him or because I'm pregnant, but I'm willing to bet that it's both.
I feel the same way - dh has SO MUCH going on at work right now with no promises of it letting up anytime soon. He works about 55+ hours/ week. This was a HUGE issue in the beginning of the pg but he has really tried to "be here" more. That being said, some days seem SO LONG without him and the weekends just fly by. So I am just trying to hang in here, take it day by day and not take out my frustration on him
At thi spoint I am worried that his one week off for the baby will be interupted by work - whcih I am trying to come to terms with

Wow, have fun camping! That sounds great! Hang in there.... you are not alone
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Oh, you aren't the only one. I've been feeling really needy too. Not that I need him for anything specific, it just makes me feel better if he's even around the house in another room. Last night he had a work function, and he called to see if it was OK if he took a later train than planned, and I said "Sure," and I honestly meant it and couldn't think of a good reason for him not to do it, but once I got off the phone I felt all weepy! Arrrgh. I don't like feeling less independent. And half the time when he's here, he annoys me anyway. Can't win, hormones, can't win!
I feel the same way and DH works from home 3 days a week. I just need him here. It's hard for him to understand and it's even harder to explain. He has been traveling for work a lot and the last time I cried myself to sleep b/c I felt such a need for him.

Hang in there mama and have fun camping!
I'm not from you ddc, but I had to respond.

I really feel lonely when DH isn't here. He works graveyard, so he's sleeping during the day and leaves for work around 6:15 pm and doesn't get back home until after 7 am. About an hour before he has to leave I start to feel pretty anxious. For a while it was bringing me to tears, but I haven't cried about it in a while. We don't even need to spend all of our time together when he's home. I just like to have him here. I like the option of talking to him whenever I want.

Compounding the anxiety this week, my parents (who live across the street from us) are out of town. So, that means I can't go over to their house and talk if I'm feeling lonely. I hate feeling like this!

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Iam due in 6 weeks and Iam feeling very hormonal and vulnerable and want my Dh around more also.
to you all. I'm not glad you're all feeling the same as I am, but it is really nice to know I'm not alone! I've just been feeling like I did back when I was like 16 when a boyfriend wouldn't pay enough attention to me or whatever, and I'd get all clingy and whiney (okay, I had issues). I finally really laid out my feelings for dh, I felt totally guilty but it had to be done. I don't like to bother him because everything he does is for me and the kids and is totally selfless, other than when he plays basketball but the exercise is good. Much to my amazement, he decided to change a few things! Instead of watching sports and totally ignoring me those few hours he is home, he's only going to watch Seattle teams (he used to watch every team, even collage, and if football, baseball or basketball weren't on he'd watch whatever other sport was out of desperation). Its not that I'm totally against sports, its that he pays more attention to them than to me! But I know he needs to unwind so I've kept somewhat quiet about it... till the other day. Also, I always swore I'd never have a TV in my bedroom. I made that clear when we got engaged, I think TV is poison, esp in the bedroom of a married couple. Well, he had to have the TV. That's what we do every night. Go to bed, I lay there and stare at hime, and he stares at the TV. Then he turns over and goes to sleep. And he thinks there's something wrong with me that I never want to have sex!
So, he's decided we won't turn on the TV for at least an hour after going to bed. He's also set aside 2-3 evenings a week when we can all go for a walk together. We went last night and it was really nice. The first exercise I've gotten since my first trimester! So sad. Anyway, I'm hoping these new habits will stick, because our marriage really needs it. Its not that we're doing bad, it just feels distant.
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I am so happy for you that things are going better! My husband comes home from work at 4pm every day and spends pretty much every free minute with me, but I still feel exactly the way you do! I just tell myself it's the hormones; after all it wasn't like that before!
If I wasn't so sad, it would be really funny how childish and, well unfair I am oftentimes. I have actually developed feelings of jealousy for the main characters in his videogames because he spends so much time with them :)
I also know the feeling of dh watching TV/playing videogames and I am just staring at him...if anybody could see me I'd be so embarrassed!

Anyways, glad it seems to work out better for you! Let me know if you have any good advice for the blue feelings.

My only advice for the blue feelings is lots of fish oil and no sugar. I wish it were easier, the no sugar things has been sooo hard for me, that's where most of my cravings have been this pregnancy! But really all that's helped me is nutrition... I just wish I could remember my supplements more than twice a week. I'm horrible at that, I even leave notes to remind myself.
I'm hoping the exercise will help too. People are always saying how great exercise is for depression, but since I've never stuck to it more than a week or two I don't personally know. (Can you tell I'm just a bit bi-polar?
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And I thought my DH was gone too much! I'm definitely clingier to him as this pregnancy progresses. I don't think he understands though. I'm alone so much. We're not from this area so I have very few friends here so I depend on DH even more so.

I never cry normally, but I find myself in tears so much in last few weeks. I guess kind of embarabssed and dont know how to handle myself!

And I feel totally clingy to dh! We live in the mountains and it takes forever for him to get home and it seems like he's never here!!! And the weirdest thing is ....I am scared of things Ive never that he's gonna cheat on me or something. I feel like I drive him nuts.
Iam having braxston hicks they sure do hurts anyone else having them?

Originally Posted by Darcy37
Iam having braxston hicks they sure do hurts anyone else having them?
I have them all the time, sometimes up to 3 minutes apart for 3 hours or so. You're supposed to tell your practitioner if you have more than 4-6 per hour, or if they are painful. Mine are usually only painful if I have to pee or if my ligaments are going through a stretch-spurt.
Oh yeah. But DH totally understands (this seems to happen every time) and just kinda caters to the teary hugs for no reason whatsoever and my increased need to be cuddled and held. His school schedule is giving him more time now so we're really enjoying the time we get!
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For the past week he keeps telling me to stop being mean to him... I'm trying SOOOO hard to be nice!
I'm afraid he thinks I just want him around for a punching bag or something! He totally doesn't "get" women though and try as I might to explain it, the effects of hormones just doesn't make any sense to him.
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