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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Bear with the following bad writing, I realy need to get this out in a stream of thought sorta way.<br><br>
My middle daughter just started grade one and I realy do not think her teacher has her best interest at heart. I think, based on statements she has made, that her goal is to get Amy through her class with minimal problems. She has also labeled Amy as having an attitude *sigh*. I thought teachers were supposed to help kids reach their potential not just make it through the year so they become some one elses problems.<br><br>
Amy is not an easy child to teach, as her first teacher I am very well aware of that! She is in speech therepy and has several other "learning issues". Normaly she is a very loving and demonstrative child. Her feelings are close to the surface and easily hurt/ expressed. The reason this teacher said she had an attitude was because Amy had a temper tantrum one day. I had already told her teacher that Amy gets overwhelmed easily in crowds and needs quiet time when she gets worked up. She is bad with external stimuli and starts to withdraw or go into super hyper mode.<br><br>
I had also mentioned to her teacher that I wanted Amy evaluated and the teacher gave me the impression that she thought her issues were bad parenting and would be corrected by strict discipline. UGH! (mutter, mutter, if it is bad parenting then why is my eldest a straight A student and my youngest verbaly precocious and extremely social, grumble, grumble).<br><br>
I am so afraid that she is going to get labeled the "trouble kid" and get steam rolled by a system that does not care about her. I can't have her move classes and there are no other schools to send her to. I feel like I am being backed into a corner and it is just getting worse.<br><br>
I could realy use some advice and/or sympathy.<br><br>
MM
 

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First of all sweetie <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
Next if you feel backed into a corner, then walk forward. Push back. Make noise. Eventually someone will hear you. I would rather be the "trouble Parent" than have some snooty, self-righteous, lazy, idiot make problems for my child! I was labeld the "bad" kid in school in the 1st grade, it stuck. I never was able to adjust as many teachers just want to shove away the non "perfect" kids and would rather deal with only those who's personalities or dispositions fit their personal idea of "good"<br><br>
I would call a meeting with the teacher and the principal. If you get no satisfaction, call another with teacher, principal and school board. I would go as far over heads as I had to and bang a few too.
 

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Does your daughter have other sensory issues besides crowds? Does she not like to be touched, recoil at loud noises, have any type of clumsiness?<br><br>
You can PM me if you'd like....
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by LoveBeads</i><br><b>Does your daughter have other sensory issues besides crowds? Does she not like to be touched, recoil at loud noises, have any type of clumsiness?<br></b></td>
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Yes actualy, she has quite a few come to think of it. For example she has always walked on her tip toes when she is not wearing socks, compulsively so. She is also to this day incapable of skipping, bunny hoping reliably or standing on one foot for more then a second.<br><br>
She also hates loud noises and has been known to break down crying at a loud POP or radio white noise. Another example of her sensitivity to noise happened today in school. She told me that her "head almost exploded" and her "ears hurt" when everyone was talking. She apparently wanted to shout at the class to stop talking (but didn't, yes I was proud) and covered her ears. This was during a normal show and tell btw.<br><br>
The last example of recent odd behavious was yesterday morning. I went in to wake her up for school and she woke up yelling "too much light, too much movies, too much noise, too much everything" and repeated it about 4 times before I got her calmed down. Now, she had watched one 1 1/2 movie the day before, we have no cable so no other tv. The light was from my kitchen light down a long hall and was not even bright enough to illuminate her face.<br><br>
There are some other examples, like she throws up every time we go to the city and don't go somewhere quiet before comming home, but I think you get the general idea. The school is realy dragging their feet on getting her evaluated so any hints you can give would be great.<br><br>
TIA and feel free to PM me at any point.<br><br>
MM
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by mamaof2</i><br><b>First of all sweetie <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
Next if you feel backed into a corner, then walk forward. Push back. Make noise. Eventually someone will hear you. I would rather be the "trouble Parent" than have some snooty, self-righteous, lazy, idiot make problems for my child!</b></td>
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Thanks for the hugs, I needed that. Thanks also for the encouragement, and I will push back, I am just so po'ed at having to. I remember going through these hoops with my eldest because of bullies and they liked her! I am trembling at the idea of doing it with a kid who is labeled a problem child *gulp*.<br><br>
To be honest I am close to saying to heck with it all I am going to teach her at home! I will give this school a chance but my patients is already thin.<br><br>
MM
 

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I can so understand what you're going through!!!<br><br>
We had a first grade teacher who was just horrible to my son, and meetings with the principle got us nowhere. I figured that I had a choice to use my energy either continually fighting with them, or teaching him myself.<br><br>
We've been homeschooling ever since. He's 15 now, and doing wonderfully. I almost want to thank those awful teachers, because if it wasn't for them he would still be in our (not very good) public schools.<br><br>
I was wondering if you've considered having dd seen by a naturopath? One of the women I go to school with had a dd that also had quirky, compulsive behaviors. A ND treated her with homeopathics, and she's way better now.
 

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I tmay be possible that you'd get better answers to your questions about having your daughter tested form the schools guidance counselor or social worker, rather than the teacher or principle.<br><br>
I had a small issue the other day because we recieved a letter saying that dd was eligable for remedial classes. WHen I talked to the principle, he had no idea how to answer my questions and had to ask the counselor himself to find answers.<br><br>
It may also be that if you had a talk with the counselor about your daughters situation, she may have more success at getting her teacher to understand and cooperate.<br><br>
To me it would be worth a try and a good place to start.<br><br>
***You need someone to listen and understand first, then you can get something done about the problems. ***
 

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I think schools tend to push back as long as they can on evaluations because it costs them money, especially if the child needs ongoing services. You may need to bring an advocate with you who knows special education law to get them to take you seriously. But I agree to start with the principal, guidance counselor, etc. By law, if you request an evaluation, they have to begin the process at least.
 

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It seems quite likely that your sweet dd has Sensory Integration Dysfunction. Unfortunately, kids like this can be difficult to raise/teach, and if someone (the teacher in this case) is unfamiliar with the disorder, it can look a lot like the child is just willful, or bratty.<br><br>
The first thing to do would be to read "The Out-of-Sync Child" by Carol Stock Kranowitz. Her book really explores sensory integration dysfunction, gives some suggestions for making life better in the classroom, etc. I would also schedule a visit with the pediatrician to get needed referrals to specialists, and I would also request a meeting with the principal and school counsellor. In the meantime, why not write up a list of information for the teacher about ways to help dd cope? Include specific examples of things that cause her stress, and explain how you help her diffuse the tension. Ask that the teacher read the Kranowitz book as well--it will really help her to understand this issue.<br><br>
Good luck mama. My sweet boy has been diagnosed for more than three years. We're homeschooling to avoid some of this heartache.<br><br>
Hugs to your sweet dd!
 

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MM,<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> to you!! I feel for you, you are trying to do the best for your little angel and the system seems to be working against you. You will prevail! Believe it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I hope you won't think the following is woo-woo out there... but your DD sounds like a Crystal child to me. Here are some of the characteristics from Doreen Virtue's booK:<br><br>
Sensitive Bodies<br>
Not only are the Crystal children emotionally sensitive, but they're also physically sensitive. They can easily become overwhelmed by too much stimuli.<br>
- Sensitive to loud noises<br>
- Sensitive to crowds<br>
- Sensitive to temperature<br>
- Sensitive to clutter and disorganization<br>
- Sensitive to chaotic environments<br>
- Sensitive to artificial ingredients and chemicals<br><br>
Here's the whole list of characteristics from the same book:<br>
- Are usually born in 1995 or later<br>
- Posess large eyes with an intense stare<br>
- Have magnetic personalities<br>
- Are highly affectionate<br>
- Start talking late in childhood<br>
- Are very musically oriented, and may sing before talking<br>
- Use telepathy and self-invented sign language to communicate<br>
- May be diagnosed with autism or Ausperger's syndrome<br>
- Are even tempered, sweet and loving<br>
- Are forgiving of others<br>
- Are highly sensitive and empathic<br>
- Are very much connected to nature and animals<br>
- Exhibit healing qualities<br>
- Are quite interested in crystals and rocks<br>
- Often discuss angels, spirit guides, and past-life memories<br>
- Are extremely artistic and creative<br>
- Prefer vegetarian meals and juices to "regular food"<br>
- May be fearless explorers and climbers with an amazing sense of balance<br><br>
Some of these appear to apply more than others to your DD. If you're interested , pm me and I'll send you what other info I can dig up.<br><br>
Yours,<br>
CurlyTop
 

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manitoba mommy: I have a friend who is a child psychologist and is a director of a child crisis center here in NYC. I took the liberty <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> of reading him your post with the description of her sensitivities last night (too late, I couldn't absorb everything he said<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> ).<br><br>
He said the symptoms sounded familiar and there are several things that could account for it and that bad parenting and/or a bad attitude are NONE of them...especially in a six year old.<br><br>
(He also brought up his usual <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/soapbox.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="soapbox"> about stupid things that administrators/teachers have been known to do with kids who just don't fit in to their plans. )<br><br>
He said that to really do a diagnosis, it would have to be in person; however, from the description, you should ask the paediatrician to have your daughter tested for PDD (shorthand for Pervasive Developmental Disorder). The best description he could give me that I could absorb was that it is kind of like autism.
 

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As a K/1 teacher, I really agree w/the others' advice. I *assume* your school has some kind of student assistance team that meets whenever a teacher has an academic/emot/social concern about a child. The teachers/counselor/princ./parents talk about the WHOLE child and try to figure out what direction to take to best help her. It really sounds like she has an issue beyond the classroom and home and the best time to help her is while she's still so young.<br>
Her sensitivities will set off some bells for the teachers. If they'd open their minds and notice, of course. If you feel stonewalled, please approach the principal in a positive way and s/he will be obligated to help you. I hope.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">:<br><br>
btw: one of the tests the gym teacher does is skipping. Inability to skip even at the end of K could signal a form of learning disability. I'm so sorry, I cannot recall which right now, though.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I just wanted to give a little update. I have deciede to go through our doctor for the assesment so I am not butting heads with the school on that anymore. It may theoreticaly take a little longer but, given the school's feet dragging, I am betting that the doctor will be quicker and more thorough in the long run.<br><br>
Amy's teacher is also being a little more understanding of her "differences", wich is a good thing, but she is still far from what I would call good for her. Example; yesterday Amy went to the washroom about ten minutes before class let out. I saw her walk past the doors where I was standing waiting for the bell to ring. Fifteen minutes latter (5 after the bell) her teacher comes out with her coat and says "Amy forgot this". I say "Isn't she still in class?" her; "No, isn't she with you?" Me, "Um, no, haven't seen her since she walked pat about 15 minutes ago" her "I have no idea where she is" me "Lets check the bathroom, I think that was where she was headed". Lo and behold my baby had been in the bathroom BAWLING for 15 MINUTES! The stall she was in had no paper and she had no idea how to clean herself so she just sat there crying. My heart was breaking. All the teacher said was thart she thought I should handle her. No sorry or anything.<br><br>
As if that was not bad enough a girl called Amy dumb yesterday and her only friend at school said she was a baby <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"><br><br>
Yes I will be talking to the teacher and the principal today but I am realy getting the feeling it will do no good.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
MM
 

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I know that in the US the school system has to provide reasonable accomodation, including paying for assessment. But I didn't know what the law was for Canada. Here's what I found when I Googled it: <a href="http://www.ldac-taac.ca/ld-law/canadian.htm" target="_blank">this is the website of the Learning Disabilities Association of Canada.</a><br><br>
This will help you figure out what your options are with regard to the school system. I bet if you phone this organization that there is a non-profit comparable to the ones we have in the US that assist parents of children with disabilities.
 
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