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· Registered
3,374 Posts
first of all

ap does not guarantee children who are perfectly behaved and happy all the time

Your youngest ds is IMO at one of the more difficult ages. He's still a baby, it's not his fault. It should get easier. Eventually.

Is there any way the grandparents could help with your older ds? Or could he go to preschool? I know in our area there are preschools designed for kids with his issues.
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