[HoneymoonBaby]

I want to love it. I really do. I want to just focus on my 2-week-old baby's sweet face and enjoy this short time while it lasts. I love that he's gaining weight well and I love that I'm giving him so many health benefits. I love being close to my babe.

But I hate breastfeeding. It hurts so bad. I know I don't have thrush (we went to the doctor) -- it's pure nipple trauma that makes me cry when he latches on. He chews instead of sucking. I pull him off and break his latch and then he won't latch back on. I try adjusting his latch while he's sucking, and he goes right back to chewing. I have so much milk, and it sprays everywhere. My bedding is soaked with milk. He spits up after every feed. He usually chokes on the milk mid-feed. The past couple of days, after eating, he makes horrible grunting and hocking noises whether I burp him or not, and looks like he's in pain. Today I think he threw up two days' worth of food.

My lack of patience is also getting in the way. By the time I feel like ten minutes are past, it's only been three. We're not yet good enough at nursing for me to be able to do other things while I feed him, so I just sit there in tears from pain and frustration and keep my eye on the clock.

Oh, I want to stick it out, I really do. I know it's best for my son and I want to give him the best. I feel like such a horrible mother for even admitting any of this. But I need help. Please help me learn to love breastfeeding, or at least not hate it. In some ways, I feel less close to my son while nursing him, because I end up seeing him as an adversary on some level, since he's hurting me so badly. I know it's not his fault. But how can I "teach" a 2-week-old baby not to chew my nipple if that's how he prefers to nurse? I've never been big on nipple stimulation at all, and now I have someone BITING them 'round the clock.

PLEASE HELP.

 

[shelbean91]

I would try to meet with an IBCLC- she should be able to help with the latch. If he's able to chew on your nipple, he's probably not latched on deep enough. It will get better and easier, I promise, and your milk supply will adjust.

 

[Daphne_Blue]

I'm still new to BFing, but the first thing I want to say is: it's normal for you to feel this way right now. You've just given birth to your new baby, you're still recovering and adjusting to life right now, and things start to pile up. You're NOT a bad mommy.

Ok. For what it's worth: I think the reason baby is "chewing" on the nipple is to try to staunch the flow of milk. If you take baby off the latch and milk is spraying then it's probably too much for him to handle, hence the choking and spitting. Does baby have gas? Does baby have forceful burps?

Definitely go see an LC to help with the latch. You want to make sure that the baby is getting areola and not just the nipple. If your letdown is really strong then take baby off the breast and hold a towel or blanket to your breast to absorb some of the flow, and then try to latch baby back on. Does it hurt just when you latch on, or when baby is nursing?

The nipple soreness will get better. It sounds like you're going through a pretty similar situation that I went through with my DD. Can you sit and watch t.v. or listen to a cd while you nurse? I found that I didn't want anyone to talk to me, but I liked being distracted by things like my favorite song to help take my mind off the pain.

The women on these boards know much more than I do, but I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone and it does get better.

 

[Alstrameria]

Quote:

Originally Posted by HoneymoonBaby But how can I "teach" a 2-week-old baby not to chew my nipple if that's how he prefers to nurse? I've never been big on nipple stimulation at all, and now I have someone BITING them 'round the clock.

I'm not big on it either. But I can tell you that dd's latch was totally different at 8 weeks than at 2 weeks. And totally different again at 4 months. I was sooo worried about getting the "right" latch, I forgot to let some time pass. Dd's mouth got bigger, she could take more milk, and my nipples got less sensitive.

I had a great IBCLC, she really got me through the first few weeks. Hang in there, I know it's rough, but really it will get better.

Jen

 

[3 Little Monkeys]

I could have written that post - I've bfed 3 dds now, and the first couple of months for me were horrible with each of them. The nipple pain and tenderness will subside, it just takes a little bit. I agree that baby is probably not getting enough of the areola in his mouth which is why he is able to chew. You may want to try pumping a little before you latch him on, the breast will be softer and it will be easier for him to get more in his mouth, there will be less spraying that way as well. Your supply will adjust soon, and Lanolin will help soothe the nipples. You didn't say which position you are trying to latch him on, but maybe a position change would help? When the girls were very small, I had better success with the football hold, or lying down than with the cradle hold.

The first couple of months are so very hard - I also suggest talking with a LC. I had the same feelings with each of my girls, I wanted to quit the first month with all of them. I didn't enjoy bfing, I didn't like the pain and it was hard not to "blame" baby. You are not a bad mother - you are going through something that most of us have gone through. Things will get better

 

[OhMel]

It will be better next month -- promise! They get that little bit of head/neck control and things get a ton better. Our first five weeks together were awful, but it steadily improved after that.

 

[captain optimism]

I also had a lot of nipple pain at the beginning. Things really will improve. A good IBCLC can help. Don't give up while you are still getting things going. You are still in the adjustment period.

 

[lovemygirl]

Sounds like a really difficult time. You *are* a good mom and you *are* doing the best. I would seriously get some help from a qualified, internationally board certified Lactation Consultant. Your local La Leche Leage can also help with the latch issues and with finding you a Lac Consultant. Many of them work from hospitals and are free.

I want to say that pain is not normal when breastfeeding. Tenderness is in the first week or so but if baby is latched properly there is no pain. I went through the exact same thing. Crying from the pain is not a good sign and is not one that should be ignored.

Not to be funny but do you have large breasts? I do and that made things for us complicated. What you need to do even if you don't have large breasts is make sure that baby's mouth is WIDE open before he latches. He is damaging your nipple because he is not taking it far back into his mouth. Look at him before he latches and show him how to open his mouth... Say "OOOOOPENNNN" to him...beleive me a 2 week old baby can and will start to imitate your facial expressions.

Also take your nipple and "sandwich it," especially if its large and baby's mouth is so tiny and bring him to you to nurse, not bring your breast down to his mouth. Use lots of pillows to prop him up, get dh/dp right in there with you for extra hands. Make sure baby's mouth is open wide and stick the "sandwich" in his mouth. This ensures he gets enough of the breast tissue into his mouth. You can also use your nipple to guide him to open his mouth. Take your nipple and touch his upper lip and gently brush the nipple downward to the bottom lip and chin... causing him to open his jaw more......when he is open really wide do the above and stick it in. I used to use a combination of my nipple and finger to push her jaw down (gently) to open her mouth more.

Also I wouldn't be so quick to rule out thrush only because MANY doctors have no clue about thrush. What made he/she say it wasn't thrush? Cause baby's mouth isn't white? My baby's mouth never had white spots...My ped told me it wasn't thrush either but it turns out it was a combination of thrush and nipple trauma cause my baby didn't latch properly...she didn't want to open her mouth all the way. Thrush will cause extreme pain when baby latches. I kept telling everone who was trying to help me and baby that the nipple pain when my dd latched was WORSE than the natural child birth pain I just experienced...that's when they knew I wasn't just making it up!

I totally feel for you. Been there done that. Cried and cried and curled my toes from the pain before I got treatment. A simple way to test is to get some antibiotic ointment like neosporin, some cortaid and some vaginal yeast infection medicine and put all three on your nipples after each feeding. You can alternate them as well. Trauma is ALWAYS a place where yeast and bacteria have parties!.... Seriously...yeast and bacteria go hand in hand and are opportunistic. When they see trauma as a result from the baby's improper latching they say "YAY!!! Let's go nuts and take hold!" To quote from Dr. Jack Newman's article on thrush (breastfeeding expert):

From: http://www.bflrc.com/newman/breastfeeding/fluconz.htm Candida albicans likes warm, moist, dark areas. It lives normally on us, and 90% of babies are colonised by it within a few hours of birth...Candida infections of the skin or mucous membranes are more likely to occur when there is a breakdown in the integrity of the skin or mucous membrane-another reason why a good latch is very important from the very first day.

IMO, if the pain resolves from the baby latching properly once you get someone to teach you and show you, then it possibly may not be yeast related, however, because you now have had 2 weeks of trauma its about the time that the yeast will show up. Also the docs can't culture yeast on your breasts (even though they try to do this and say they can tell) and know whether you have it or not...we ALL have yeast on our bodies and its impossible to know definitively from a culture since we always have yeast on us and in us. When the body gets out of whack from either pregnancy hormones shifting such as from the birth of a baby, your body's flora...the yeast and the bacteria in our body goes haywire. And if you received antibiotics, then thrush is opportunistic in this case as well.

As for the milk flow, this unfortunately is normal, however you can slow the flow by laying on your bck to nurse baby...he will be tummy to tummy with you still, but he will be laying on your stomach. This position helps slow down the flow cause you dont' have gravity pulling your breasts down! Your flow will regulate within several weeks...your body is making milk cause it doens't knwo if you have 1 baby or 5 babies!

Here is a link to an article on sore nipples by Dr. Jack Newman
http://www.bflrc.com/newman/breastfeeding/sorenipl.htm
and the one on yeast:
http://www.bflrc.com/newman/breastfeeding/fluconz.htm

Here is the link to the LLL...you can go there and find a leader in your area. http://www.lalecheleague.org

hang in there!

 

[Sandrine]

Ditto what everyone told you. You are doing a great job. It's not always easy to bf.

One thing that comes to mind is that maybe you have an oversupply of milk and that why he bites instead of suck. i have that. I could probably feed triplets. lol Well, to help dd2 to feed well, I only offer her one breast per feed. That way she gets both milk, foremilk and hindmilk. Also it help to regulate your breast to not go overboard producing milk. I'm sure you can find more info on Kelly's site.

It will get better and you can do it.

HTH

 

[lovemygirl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandrine I only offer her one breast per feed. That way she gets both milk, foremilk and hindmilk. Also it help to regulate your breast to not go overboard producing milk. I'm sure you can find more info on Kelly's site. It will get better and you can do it. HTH

I second this! That is what I did...I think I fed dd on 1 boob at a feeding til she was like 7 months old! My boob held a lot of milk!

 

[BusyMommy]

Hang in there! I just ended 3 solid years of bf and I'm actually really sad. And, yep, it was soooooooooooo hard at first and I counted down the weeks till I could quit at 6 mos. 2nd child...NO troubles at all and it was just so incredibly easy all the way around.

Don't give up!!

I did the one boob thing, too. Good for them anyways as they get all the hindmilk that way.

ANd, make sure you have LOTS of dh support. And, I always made time to take a nice warm bath everyday. You can justify it, too

, b/c you need to be relaxed for bf to work well.

 

[tarahsolazy]

DS and I had a similar problem at that age, he would cry while feeding, and sputter, and it just stressed me out

. I cried too, several times. I figured it was overactive letdown, by reading kellymom (is there anything that's not on that site?). I went to the single boob feedings, and it seemed to really help. At almost 4 months, things are much easier, and I'm so glad I stuck it out. Imagine, we are growing a kid! With our own bodies! I just think its so amazing. I made an 18lb person (so far, gaining every day). He's mostly made of Coke and Oreos, but anyway

: A good LC may be very helpful with your pain, and also help give you confidence. big hugs, and good luck.

 

[Mami]

I hope you find a good lactation consultant, they can really be lifesavers. You shouldn't be in pain and I can assure you that once you get thru this you will love bf'ing(just my bias speaking). I struggled with thrush until my daughter was about 6 weeks old. It's night and day once you get over it(not saying that's what you've got). I also agree that baby's sucking changes from week to week, month to month and I'm sure year to year. Hang in there, but do get help.

 

[Alstrameria]

Oh! I forgot to mention: with dd1 I had flat nipples and it hurt while she nursed, despite 4 LC's and numerous nurses telling me my latch was great. It hurt while she was stretching the nipple tissue out. I didn't figure this out until way after bf with her was abandoned. When I found out I was pg with dd2 I used a nipplette to pull the nipples out. It worked, but it took the whole pregnancy. And it hurt, I recognized that pain and a light went on for me.

So, just to say, you can have a great latch and have pain.

Jen

 

[saritabeth]

My heart goes out to you....I had the

 

[saritabeth]

oops!!!

As I was saying, I had the EXACT same problem. My nipples were cracked bruised and bleeding and I cried everytime I had to feed my dd. I hated breastfeeding and felt so terrible and guilty and bad.....It is really fine that you feel overwhelmed and are not enjoying it...do not feel guilty or bad about your feelings.

The good news....it does get better. My baby is now 6 weeks old and I never ever thought I would feel this good about bf. Please do talk to a lactation consultant and maybe look into having a postpartum doula if you do not have a lot of help at home. You are at a really hard time right now and you need help and encouragment, which can be hard to reach out for when you feel so overwhelmed.

I have a ton of milk as well and Ella kept sputtering, choking, and whiping my nipple out of her mouth and flailing her little arms in my face as I just cried and cried. The suggestions I received which worked for me were to feed on one side only for a few feedings in a row, it seemed to curb my milk production somewhat. There are also positions that are easier for baby....leaning back so that baby is on top of you so milk isnt pouring down baby's throat.

Do call a La Leche league leader or a Lactation consultant.

You are so normal, and I promise you that in a few weeks you will look back on this time and be surpised at how quickly your newborn has grown and changed. It gets much easier, but I know how frustrating it all is....I have just been there myself...I wish I could come over to help

.
Hang in there, and feel free to email if you need to vent.

Sarah

 

[sincitymama]

Hey there, I'm just throwing in another vote for what others have said.
-Hang in there.

-Try to find local support, do you have supportive partner/family/friends? If not, go to the finding your tribe area and make some mama friends from here. Really, I can't think of better bfing support! I bet you'd get help right away. Call every single person you know and get them to bring you some food, or come do your laundry, or bring a funny movie, or just hang out with you for a while. When you have company, fully expect to not have to get up at all unles you need to pee. If they won't get you a glass of water they shouldn't be there.

-See a lactation consultant, call LLL.

-Go to Kellymom site to read all about oversupply. I had this. Hell, at 6 months I'm still changing the nursing pads regularly! But it's not towels anymore, so I'm grateful for that.

-Hang in there.

-One sided feedings. I had to take this even further, use one side for 2-3 feedings, depending on how often he ate. Basically just kept him on one side until it started feeling empty, then switch. If(when) the other side got uncomfortable I expressed a little.

-Lay back for feedings. I had the best luck with a recliner, laying back as far as it went. Babe in a nursing pillow on my lap.

-Hang in there some more. It seems like forever right now, but it really does get better. The stress and resentment will fade as the two of you work out your relationship. Let me repeat:YOUR FEELINGS ARE TOTALLY NORMAL! They don't mean anything bad about you, they just mean that you're stressed and in lots of pain. It's ok, and normal, and common.

 

[HoneymoonBaby]

Thanks, everyone. I feel a bit better today -- BF still hurt last night but I made sure he was sitting up and he choked much less and stopped chewing so hard.

I have been doing one breast per feed for about a week, but the past couple of days, he's seemed really hungry and I've ended up offering both breasts for a couple of feeds. Unfortunately, my body seems to think this means I need to MAKE more milk, which I don't. So today we're back to choking and sputtering, and pain in mommy's breast. Sigh. I'm wondering if he's having some sort of growth spurt, though -- he went from barely making it to ten minutes on one breast (with much coaxing) to 15 on one and 5-10 on the other. This is all so confusing to me.

I have been in touch with the lactation department at the hospital I delivered at, and they had a lot of the same tips as you all. I've dreaded contacting LLL because I'm sure I'm not hard core enough for them, but they're probably much more knowlegable than the hospital consultants. I'll probably call them next.

Anyway, thank you for the support. It's nice to hear that I am normal -- all the books I'm reading say it shouldn't hurt at all, that my body will just automatically produce the right amount of milk, etc. etc. etc. Lies . . . ALL LIES, I say.

: I think someone needs to write a book called "Why The First X Weeks of Breastfeeding Suck and How to Deal With It Until Things Get Better."

 

[sarahloughmiller]

Hang in there. With my son the first 2 months were full of craked nipples, mastitus and many days and nights of just crying. It can be really hard to start, but once you get past that first couple of months it is a breeze. I didn't want to take anything for the pain after my son was born, but after a few painful days of bf I finally took something and it really helped me to relax and nurse better. It can be really hard to relax when you are scared to death of putting the baby on. Don't be intimidated by LLL, they can be very helpful and I think you will find that they are not quite as hard core as they seem. They just want to help you nurse your baby, no matter how long you choose to do it for. I hope you can overcome this and continue to bf, it really does get better.

 

[linnea]

Please don't be intimidated by LLL! I also had a lot of trouble in the beginning and was mortified to go to a meeting, thinking I would be laughed out of there for having to use a nipple shield, a Boppy, etc. Instead I found that the leader was kind, caring and sensitive, and the moms in the group were all friendly and supportive. I can't tell you how much it meant to me to find that kind of encouragement in the early days - those ladies are the reason I am still exclusively breastfeeding!

You're doing the right thing. Good for you for seeking help and support. It makes all the difference in the world.