I think I just want to be free**UPDATED**

I'd hesitate to pin the cheater label on him just yet. I think it's perfectly natural for someone who is stressed out and looking at all his carefree buddies to imagine what it would be like without responsibilities. I also think telling your spouse you feel this way is a little tactless, but perhaps he feels you have this kind of open relationship.

Regardless, you mentioned you feel like friends, which indicates a lack of romance. Here's my suggestion - let him go out for a weekend with his buddies. No kids, no responsibilties, just pure manly fun. Then, a couple weeks later, the two of you make a romantic night or weekend if you can get away for that long. Show him he can have it both ways, still be "free" but keep the family intact. I'm all for working things out until there's nothing left to try.

Oh mama, I'm so glad. And I don't necessarily think he's cheating either, sometimes people just hit a spot in life where they're unhappy and start successfully making changes (losing weight, new job etc.) I think those CAN be red flags, but aren't always. However, I would take this as an opportunity to really start talking to him about what he's feeling. Maybe it can be a fresh start of sorts for the two of you. Marriages can use a rejuvenation too, you know? Like a PP said, try giving each other time off, as well as spending quality time together. I know that even a couple of hours spent driving around in the car while the kids go to sleep and we look at our dream houses and talk about anything and everything can make me feel a million miles closer to DH, even when I didn't realize I was feeling far away in the first place.

to you!

I wouldn't pin him as a cheater yet either.

I am trying to improve myself/my home at the moment... I have always dreamed of pumping iron to feel the strength of my own body... so I do want to improve my bod, but NOT to catch another man! I love my family.

And... getting into ruts, losing romance, ESPECIALLY while raising small children is common. Same here... my house is a clutter zone (causing DH to be : sad about it) so I'm on an "improvement" mission... improve everything... the house, me... yada, yada... I'm going to be the happiest, best person I can be, and I hope that my buzz will inspire him too. I can't see how it can't.

A lot of the threads on MDC I read about DH's... being unemployed or just at home and depressed, driving the mom nuts. At least your husband isn't like that... I hope he can see the bright side of life and work towards making your lives better.



and if you are feeling low... do something for yourself to get yourself out of it. If you are feeling great, then that makes you more attractive. What were you like before you got married and had children? What made you attractive to him? What made you happy? Have you done those things lately? Why not? Can you fit time to do stuff that brightens you up?

This is really hard for me to say but... I was your husband 2 years ago. we had a fight and i say it as my chance to escape and I just said ..you know what see ya! and I took my baby boy and up and got on a plane and moved across country back to my hometown. My reasoning was this.. please don't flame me. I felt like we were strangers or just roomates raising a child.. it seemed like all we did was fight... I forgot about all the good things and started focusing on the bad things..I forgot who I was because I was a SAHM and I felt useless (I am NOT saying SAHMs are useless I am one right now and plan on it for a while but some people need a job to identify themselves) I felt like i was going through the motions... our sex life was null and void. I thought I couldn't live like that for the rest of my life and that I was drowning in boredom and ordinary.. I too was exercising and eating right and feeling pretty good about myself.. but I wanted more.... so I left.(FTR there was not another man either) that feeling lasted about 2-3 months.. and then I started forgetting the bad things and remembering the good things...and he flew up to see his son and it pulled on my heartstrings.. and then he told me he was moving back also to be near his son...and me. that even if I wasn't his wife I was his best friend and he wanted to be near us no matter what.. anyhow long story short...I realized what I walked away from and invited him back into my life...and now 2 years later... we are doing great and going strong and expecting another baby. some people called us crazy...but we have never been what you would call conventional...sometimes you don't realize what you have until its gone...maybe your husband took some time to think about his life without you and the kids and the freedom was tempting but them emptiness was heartbreaking.I just wish that I had realized overnight..but I was too busy being selfish..I hope you give your DH the benefit of the doubt and maybe he was just having an off moment but that doesnt mean you should avoid the topic.we found that discussing it helped alot to mend my DH's broken heart..I know I hurt him and for that I cannot be sorry enough...your DH should know how painful that was for you because he did that and he needs to own it. GOod Luck Mama..I wish you and your family all the very best..