[cristeen]

And it's really small and really kind of silly to even be fretting over this...<br><br>
I have pictures of me and my sister on our first birthdays with a 3-D panda cake that my mom made each of us. I toted the pans for this cake around for years, intending to make it for my children's first bdays. And for some reason still unknown to myself, at some point in the pp fog, I gave the pans to the baby's grandma. She's planning on making the cake for him, but I don't want her to. I want to make it myself. In part because it's special to me and in part because her idea of cake and my idea of cake are worlds apart (and I'm not sure I want to feed my 1 yo a cake she makes - shortening, tons of sugar and invariably chocolate... even my bday cake was chocolate and I don't really care for chocolate), and in part because I'm kicking myself for giving away those pans - for sentimental reasons.<br><br>
Is there a polite way to change my mind and get my pans back? I love her dearly and don't want to alienate her at all, but I've really been dwelling on this for about a week. So I figured I'd ask here.

 

[MusicianDad]

I would call her up and say pretty much the same thing (minus the issues you would have with her cake) that you said here.<br><br>
You though about it, and you really want to make the cake so your DC can say "mom made me a panda cake on my first birthday just like grandma made my mom and aunt on their first birthdays."

 

[gothnurse3]

I agree with the pp. I would definitely tell her thank you for offering to help (so that her feelings don't get hurt). Then let it go and make the cake yourself. Good luck

 

[mama2toomany]

I would totally call her and explain that you really want to make the cake, get the pans back and make your cake <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Oh and be sure to invite Grandma for cake too! lol

 

[Shakti77]

Tell her that you changed your mind about it and want to make his birthday cake yourself. If she insists, ask her very nicely if she can make xx dish (one that she's really good at and is proud of) <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">

 

[PoppyMama]

You can call her and, very sweetly, let her know that you had been thankful that she was going to make the cake and had thought that would be enough but that you realized that you were more attached to the actual making of the cake than you thought and you would really love to make the first birthday cake. If she wants to make a panda cake she can still make one later but that you really want to cook the first one yourself.

 

[Mother Cake]

Ask (nicely, like everyone else said). It never hurts to try. If you don't ask, you pretty much guarantee that she'll bake the cake, but if you do ask, you give yourself another chance to do it yourself.

 

[texmati]

Is this your mom, or the baby's other grandma? If it's your mom, I might add a helping of how much it means to you that *she* made the first cakes for you and your sister.<br><br>
btw... I"m amazed that you are already thinking about birthdays!

 

[Kidzaplenty]

Yeah, it never hurts to try. I would just be honest and tell her what you feel.