[srneda78]

My very fussy 8-week old baby will NOT SLEEP during the day. She is fussy, irritable, and extremely tired. As the day goes on, it gets worse. In the evening, she has crying fits which end in her finally going to sleep. I walked around the store today and saw at least four other babies sleeping. My lovely baby was in her car seat, looking at me, on the verge of tears because she's so tired. She used to sleep in the car and in the store. Now she fights it there just like she does at home. I have tried everything I can think of. She gets so tired that she can't sleep.

At night, she sleeps about 4 hours, eats, then another 4 hours, and eats. After that, she has very restless sleep for about 2-3 hours. It's like she's tired and wants to sleep, but can't. Right now, she's trying to sleep. She'll fuss for about a minute, drift off for a few minutes, and wake up again to fuss. I gave her a warm bath, hoping it would help -- and it did for about 20 minutes. After that, she's awake, asleep, awake, asleep. She's literally so tired, she can't sleep.

I hate to say it, but I'm growing really weary. My DH thinks it's so easy to be home, taking care of a baby. But she is really challenging during the day. He'll see this Saturday when I go back to work and he's alone with her all day. He's supposed to get off work at 6:00 p.m. and be home by 6:30. He just called and said he won't be home until 7:00. Even that extra 1/2 hour is just so challenging to me. It's like I need a break. I love my baby so much, but I'm tired and worn out. She cries for hours.

I guess I just needed to vent and cry. I'm exhausted, look like garbage, and feel like an awful mom because I'm letting this frustrate me. Sometimes I dread each day. I know she won't be like this forever. I thought it was getting better, but yesterday and today have been awful. She has cried all day.

I use gripe water, Colic Calm, Rescue Remedy, the 5 S's, swaddling, not swaddling, elevating her in case it's reflux, etc. I don't know what else to do.

I took her to a pediatric gastroenterologist to be evaluate for reflux. She said she may have reflux, so she prescribed Zantac. It made her vomit. Then she prescribed Axid, which is stronger from what I understand. I'm afraid to give it to her. The doctor said to give it to her and if she gets better, then it's reflux. That seems crazy to give a baby strong medicine to see if it helps. Would you do it? I'm not sure. I'm at the end of my rope, though. And I feel really bad for her. I'm not sure what to do, whether to give it to her or not. She's not spitting up a lot. The doctor thought it might be "silent reflux."

 

[tinyblackdot]

I could have written this 21 months ago! I know how aggrivating it can get, and im soooo sorry that your dd is so tired! Poor baby!

With maddie, the only way i could get her to seep was by wearing her in my ring sling, or driving in the car (but only after she would scream for what seemed like eternity!), or in her swing. Does she seem uncomfterble? Noone could figure out dd's issues, they thought it was reflux, then allergies, and now they just don't have any idea, I know how frustrating it can get! UGH! Are you BFing? Does she fall asleep while she is feeding? Have you tried doing an elimination diet? I can only assume that you are watching your cafine intake......

I think with maddie, she was just sooooo over stimulated. She was one of those babies that would just sit and watch and look around all of the time and it almost seemed like she didn't want to sleep becasue she was scared that she was going to miss something. And then the more tired she got the harder it was to get her to sleep! Does your LO have pleanty of quite time? With no tv or touching or music or anything?

 

[YesandNo]

I'm so sorry. Of course you need a break! You do not need to apologize for that.

Have you tried wearing her? Mine loved the Moby wrap. On her worst days, I'd put her in the Moby and walk up and down the stairs, up and down and up and down and up and down.

You're doing great, mama, trust me, lots of us have been there!

 

[sarahtdubb]

I also thought of babywearing--have you tried wearing your baby to sleep? My babe would only sleep in the Moby or another carrier for the first 6 months of his life... If we ever tried to put him down, he'd wake up instantly or after only 10 minutes or so. Wearing him for naps was the only way to get him to sleep. I actually found it freeing, because I wasn't trying to put him down, get him back to sleep, etc. I'd just go for a walk to get him sleeping then stroll around or cook or clean or something during his nap. My husband would put him to sleep in the moby then lean back on the couch and sleep himself while our baby slept on his chest.

Good luck, mama.

 

[sapphire_chan]

I know it's not something you could do on a regular basis, but have you tried laying down with her in a dark/dim room? I've found that if Lina's tired and fighting sleep (a recent trend, thank goodness) side-nursing while rubbing her hand and singing lets her calm down enough to sleep. (But only if the light's off, if it's on when she's in that state she looks around at everything instead.)

Also, I'd second the wearing idea. Lina seems to be calmer and sleep better when we go for a walk.

 

[hrsmom]

I second or third or whatever trying a wrap or sling if you haven't already. I discovered accidentally that my LO would calm down in the Moby wrap in the evenings during her fussy time when she was around that age. She didn't sleep that much during the day, either, but she was mostly fussy just at night. So out came the Moby. On the two (I think) occasions where I went somewhere and forgot to bring it, it was awful! Prior to discovering the calming effects of the wrap, evenings were insanely difficult and exhausting.

It is frustrating and also really difficult! You're doing great! To answer your question about giving something even stronger to your baby, only you can decide that, of course, but it makes sense to me to avoid doing that.

 

[riverscout]

I agree with those that suggested wearing her.

My daughter basically only napped while being worn during the first 6 month of her life, that is unless she fell asleep in my lap while nursing. She would not sleep in a stroller, car, swing, bouncy seat, or crib. It was exhausting sometimes to wear her, but it was better than having a cranky tired baby.

My son is turning out to be much the same. If we are home, he will only sleep in a wrap during the day. Sometimes he sleeps in my lap after nursing but is a restless kind of sleep and it doesn't last that long. He will sleep for ages in the wrap though, and I can get other stuff done.

 

[VeganCupcake]

Another to suggest wearing her. Dr. Sears says that high-need babies should be worn a lot--4 hours a day at least, I think? It helps them organize themselves and feel better in all ways. I think you'll find your baby will relax and be happier overall if you wear her some during the day.

But you will probably have to move while wearing her, at least at first, or she'll protest. For me, this means going on a walk, going shopping, or even bouncing on a yoga ball while I work from home.

 

[ledzepplon]

My first baby had a very hard time sleeping as well. I know it can bring you to tears! Definitely try babywearing and laying down with your babe. I hope that will help!

 

[srneda78]

Thank you for your suggestions. Thank goodness DH is home now. I got out of the house for an hour. I feel much better. I have a Kangaroo sling that I put her in and sometimes she will nap briefly in it. Other times she screams. I try to ease her into it. If I just put her in there, forget about it. She screams bloody murder. She's really an on-edge baby.

I am going to look into the Moby wrap. I'm a large gal, though, so I'm not sure it will work. I have to email them to see. Their website says they can custom make them if needed. I don't think DD likes the sling I have much.

I also think she is sooooo overstimulated. My in-laws don't understand that you can't hold her and constantly talk to her and play with her. She will not sleep at all if you do that. They say, "Look, she's smiling!" Yeah, and in 10 minutes, she's going to be screaming bloody murder because she's still exhausted and hasn't realized it yet. I can't even play Mozart to make her sleep. Everything is too stimulating to her. To make her calm down and sleep, I play white noise. It works okay sometimes, but other times not.

Breastfeeding hasn't worked out for us. There is a plethora of reasons that I really don't want to get into. Everything has been a nightmare. I pump and feed her breastmilk. So I need to look into my diet more closely.

Would you give her Axid for reflux if the doctor's not even sure she has it? It's like she gives it out like candy. She says we'll know she has it if the medicine helps her.

Also, I am trying to give her probiotics. I have painful nipple thrush. She did have white patches in her mouth, but she was treated with nystatin and they're gone. Her doctor recommended infant probiotics and when I give them to her, she is incredibly, painfully gassy. And she has trouble eliminating the gas. She strains like she's constipated, but she's not. Will this go away after a few days? It seems like her system is out of whack.

ETA: My baby HATES lying down in the bed with me. She is so fussy and antsy. She usually screams. It's a rare day that she will go to sleep lying down in our bed. I hate it because I want to lie with her and cuddle her.

 

[riverscout]

Quote:

Originally Posted by srneda78 Would you give her Axid for reflux if the doctor's not even sure she has it? It's like she gives it out like candy. She says we'll know she has it if the medicine helps her.

My daughter's old ped said the exact same thing yours did...that my daughter might have "silent reflux" and she prescribed some meds. It seemed like too vague a diagnosis to me though, so I never gave them to her.

 

[basilisa76]

Well... My baby is 4.5 months and wakes up every hour at night (still!) so 4 hours at night is not bad... However it does seem that the baby is over-stimulated and is having trouble handling it... I WOULD NOT give the medicine if the Dr. is not sure. In fact I believe reflux is highly over diagnosed... With both my daughters I tried different carriers and until they were 3 months old they didn't like ANY. What did help was just to get out of the house for a walk. Don't drive, just take some air (even if it is freezing) the wind and sounds of nature will soothe you and your baby.

Good luck and remember that this too shall pass...
Gigi

 

[ChristyH]

I'm so sorry mama, my little girl used to be like that but she's much better now.

I didn't see it suggested but have you thought about taking her to a chiropractor and getting her adjusted, it's amazing what an adjustment from a chiropractor can do!

 

[YesandNo]

Kangaroo slings are great when they're a little older..... 3-4 months. She'll grow into it. I'm not sure what size you are, but I'm at 18 and had no problem at all with the Moby. It's one-size-fits-most, pretty generously.

Probiotics made my LO very gassy, I gave up on them after two weeks with no improvement. They are not necessary for an EBF baby, IMO. Your milk is all she needs.

This is a natural family living site, so most responders are likely to say skip the medication. Personally, I'd look it up and would probably give it to her unless I was specifically concerned about something listed on the drug sheet............... actually, I just looked up Axid and it says "Use Axid with extreme caution in CHILDREN younger than 12 years of age. Safety and effectiveness in this age group have not been confirmed." "Extreme caution" would be good enough for me to not use it!!!!

But if I were you, I would not give up on the ped. Either find one that you like more, or tell her that you are uncomfortable with the Axid and would like to discuss additional options. You seem very frustrated so I recommend you do not cut yourself off from that potential source of help.

 

[junipermoon]

you sound so worn out. I'm sorry. I have a 2.5 month old, currently sleeping in one of my arms, up on my shoulder. he is a pretty good sleeper--4 or 5 hours a day in total and 8 at night, with feeds in between. not too fussy either. his requirements seem to be sleeping in arms only (not worn) and no quick transitions or overstimulating conversations with sibs. he will go down easily into any contraption if he is wide awake. easy baby, this one.

but I have a seven year old who, as a baby, never, never, never let me put him down. really not at all unless i was nose to nose on the floor playing with him. over and over i had to jusy shrug off my tension and try to slip into an easygoing frame of mind b/c a tight stance just encouraged tightness in my lo.

just keep breathing. remember you are a miracle to this baby who needs such complex, continuous care. it doesn't matter what your h thinks. it doesn't make you any less of a miracle to your baby. she sounds terribly intelligent and intense. i bet she'll be an overachiever someday.

my suggestion would be to take the baby to bed for a mommy-baby holiday. bring a bottle but relax and work on your latch--eight weeks seems early to give up on feeding at the breast--esp if baby is not napping/relaxing well. no pressure, just offer breast for licking, cuddling, and m-a-y-b-e, if she wants to, latching. bring books to read her, read her your own favorite grownup books, walk aroung the room and sing to her, lay her out and practice offering soft, less stimulating smiles and conversation. have no expectations--just enjoy her smallness and work with your frustrations by offering yourself much deserved empathy--after a few days of bedroom holidays you and she miight feel better, naps or not--this has always been my experience, fwiw.

 

[tinyblackdot]

Quote:

Originally Posted by srneda78 Thank you for your suggestions. Thank goodness DH is home now. I got out of the house for an hour. I feel much better. I have a Kangaroo sling that I put her in and sometimes she will nap briefly in it. Other times she screams. I try to ease her into it. If I just put her in there, forget about it. She screams bloody murder. She's really an on-edge baby. I am going to look into the Moby wrap. I'm a large gal, though, so I'm not sure it will work. I have to email them to see. Their website says they can custom make them if needed. I don't think DD likes the sling I have much. Yeah the wrap would be a good option, that way you can wear your lo upright incase it is a reflux issue. I also think she is sooooo overstimulated. My in-laws don't understand that you can't hold her and constantly talk to her and play with her. She will not sleep at all if you do that. They say, "Look, she's smiling!" Yeah, and in 10 minutes, she's going to be screaming bloody murder because she's still exhausted and hasn't realized it yet. I can't even play Mozart to make her sleep. Everything is too stimulating to her. To make her calm down and sleep, I play white noise. It works okay sometimes, but other times not. I wish i had done this sooner, but i would just lie her down and let her release some of that over stimulation (not CIO just let some energy out a bit with you right there to comfort her). Listen after 2 years of battling my dd, i know the ONLY way to get her to sleep (since we stopped BFing) after she has been overstimulated (usually by being at MIL house) is to just let her have her breakdown and then to lie her in bed and let her wind down a little, and leave her alone to destimulate. It can take over an hour for her to finally fall asleep on some nights, but along as she isn' crying and she is just talking and hanging out in her bed, i leave her in there, and she LOVES it. Sometimes she will come up to me and ask to go to her crib, i think just to have some quite alone time. Breastfeeding hasn't worked out for us. There is a plethora of reasons that I really don't want to get into. Everything has been a nightmare. I pump and feed her breastmilk. So I need to look into my diet more closely. I understand BFing was a huge issue with us too. I would really look into cutting out milk and soy and see what happens. I wouldn't stop pumping though, and i would keep giving her BM, because if you find out that you lo does have a milk/soy allergy the formula is WAYYYY expensive. It cost us about $500 a month for Neocate. I would also suggest if you can to try to get her to go bck to BFIng, there where soooo many nights that my only saving grace was BFing to get her to sleep, and when i had to switch to formula it was so hard to not have that to fall back on. . Would you give her Axid for reflux if the doctor's not even sure she has it? It's like she gives it out like candy. She says we'll know she has it if the medicine helps her. DD's first Dr gave us that stuff too, and then our 2nd GI was appalled that she was given it. However, just fyi, previcid does have a type of milk in it, so if you find out its a milk issue it might not be the right choice for your lo. Also, I am trying to give her probiotics. I have painful nipple thrush. She did have white patches in her mouth, but she was treated with nystatin and they're gone. Her doctor recommended infant probiotics and when I give them to her, she is incredibly, painfully gassy. And she has trouble eliminating the gas. She strains like she's constipated, but she's not. Will this go away after a few days? It seems like her system is out of whack. IF it is a milk allergy, probiotics will make her gas worse because most of them are derived from milk protiens, i would go to your local health food store and adk if they have a vegan/soy free probiotic. I know that there is a brand called Bluebonnet that has one. But that sounds exactly how maddie was untill we cut out her milk entirely. ETA: My baby HATES lying down in the bed with me. She is so fussy and antsy. She usually screams. It's a rare day that she will go to sleep lying down in our bed. I hate it because I want to lie with her and cuddle her.

I know mama, it killed me that maddie wasn't a snuggly baby, and that she was not able to cosleep, and that she seemed to prefer to be in her own bed. Have you thought of getting her an Amby Baby Bed That is a MUST HAVE for if we have another baby.
If not try to let her sleep on an angle, like in her carseat, or but some books under one end of her crib.

Best of luck! If you are ever on the brink of a breakdown please feel free to pm me

 

[tinyblackdot]

Quote:

Originally Posted by junipermoon no pressure, just offer breast for licking, cuddling, and m-a-y-b-e, if she wants to, latching. bring books to read her, read her your own favorite grownup books, walk aroung the room and sing to her, lay her out and practice offering soft, less stimulating smiles and conversation. have no expectations--just enjoy her smallness and work with your frustrations by offering yourself much deserved empathy--after a few days of bedroom holidays you and she miight feel better, naps or not--this has always been my experience, fwiw.

That is great advice!

 

[aquamam]

I can relate - same exact scenario with DS. He hated the Zantac too. Did you taste it? It's awful! The dispensed stuff from the pharmacy is a horrible peppermint, much to strong a taste for any baby. Go to a pharmacy that does compounding -they can make Zantac from scratch, with no flavour. The meds went down much easier that way. Also get tips from the pharmacist on how to give babies meds so they don't gag (few mls at a time, back side of the mouth, etc)

I am against medicating babies generally, but was as desparate as yourself to help my child. After 3 days he was a different baby - more peaceful, and could finally sleep for more than 40 minutes at a stretch. You could do a trial for 7 days and if you see no improvement just end it. (I still needed to practise all the 5 S's, mind you. and i still wear babe all the time)

Silent reflux is a crapshot diagnosis, but mine had all the signs - bad breath, only sleeping when upright (or elevated head), sleeping less than an hour at a stretch, gurgling noises in the throat, crying when on back, screaming and pulling off the breast when nursing, etc.

I did the elimination diet as well, in case the issues were my milk. No improvements but I did get back to my pre-preg weight quicker than with DD.

I hope you find some peace - I know how horrible it feels to think your babe is suffering.

 

[UptownZoo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by srneda78 Would you give her Axid for reflux if the doctor's not even sure she has it? It's like she gives it out like candy. She says we'll know she has it if the medicine helps her.

Yes yes yes. Reflux is acutely painful. The only really reliable test for reflux involves a 24 hour probe, and since that's an invasive, difficult test, a medication trial is usually the way infant reflux is dx'd. It may take several days for your DD to get complete relief. If she's refluxing a lot (and it sounds like she is), her esophagus is abraded and needs some time to heal. It may be sore for a few days even after meds control the acid.

Give her the meds. Sleeping so little and crying so much are more damaging than the medicine. Give it a week. If things don't improve, you know you need to move on to something else.

 

[swimswamswum]

My DD had reflux too and it was AWFUL. We ended up giving her Zantac for a couple months and having her adjusted a lot by a DO who specializes is cranio-sacral therapy. It helped a lot. We also wore her pretty much constantly. I also cut out dairy and soy from my diet. We loved the Moby Wrap. I have plus sized friends who've bought regular Moby Wraps and then sewn in an extra pretty panel (similar to the Moby D) to make it fit them better. I don't know if you sew or know someone who does, but this might be helpful for you.

DD is pretty much past the reflux now that she's super mobile and eating. It got so much better when we introduced solid foods and when she was able to wiggle her burps out by sitting up and crawling and the like.

It's so stressful having a LO in constant pain.

mama, it will get better. Hang in there, you're doing a great job.