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<p>My husband's grandmother who lives out of state has a social worker who checks up on her and makes sure her bills are being paid, her house is habitable, she's eating regularly, seeing her physician(s), etc.  I'm not sure exactly who you would contact in order to initiate something like that, but it might be worth looking into, especially if he's beginning to decline mentally and neglecting to take care of himself.</p>
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<p>OP - I am going through a similar situation with my dad (I really get the doctor shopping thing) and I am also looking for advice.</p>
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<p>I also share the feeling of selfishness yet I have very valid reasons for setting boundaries.</p>
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<p>Aye, it is tough. </p>
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<p>I wish there was an aging parent section.</p>
 

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<p>In my area there is homecare assistance for this problem. Family can refer a loved one. They have a psychogeriatric team whose members visit elderly in their homes and do an assessment and hook them up with services or further assessments. Check with the Veterans office and maybe you can call his dr with your concerns. Don't wait until a crisis happens- there is help out there for people like him.</p>
 
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