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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
<a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showpost.php?p=11561916&postcount=25" target="_blank">Update</a><br><br>
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I think it's finally time. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bawling.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bawl"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bawling.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bawl"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bawling.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bawl">
 

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I'm sorry <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I'm so sorry.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
i'm sorry. i've been very close to divorce a few times. it feels awful.
 

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I am so sorry. I have also been very close to divorce a few times and it is awful.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I hope all goes well for you. I am pretty close to this point myself. It is a very hard point of life to be in.<br><br>
I wish you the best.
 

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I'm so sorry, mama. I wish you a peaceful, joyous life on the other side of this transition. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I'm sorry, wish there was something better I could say. I've been there. It hurts.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>DariusMom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11525913"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
i'm sorry. i've been very close to divorce a few times. it feels awful.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I don't know what to do. i don't know if it's time, or what. I just know I don't want DD to see me treated this way. I am sick at heart over what to do. When it's good - well, it's good. And when it's bad.... He has no sense of control. He's said for the last 2 years (the entirity of our marriage) that he wanted to change, be a better person, do his best, etc.<br><br>
And I love him. Aren't you MDCers tired of hearing that?<br><br>
But I don't think he's going to change.
 

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I'm so sorry you are going through this. Marriage is so tough.<br>
I'm not sure how long you've been married, but I think the majority of married couples at some point have stubbled and found themselves at their witts end, some considering divorce even. You are not alone and if you need MDC to be your support system, I'm sure it can be; the anonymity can be comforting in itself.<br>
I'm not sure how to say this w/ out it coming out wrong, especially since I'm only a year older than you, but my DH is 6 years older than me (32 now), and when we got married he was 25. He is a totally different person NOW than he was then. Let us remember that men and women are not equal in maturity, they are about 3-5 years behind us. So, I'm not saying I would put up w/ any physical or verbal abuse under any circumstances, but if he truely believes he can work out his issues and especially having a child together, it might be worth your effort to stick it out a while longer. A few months, or a year might make a big difference.
 

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I'm sorry... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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What does "he gets out of control" mean?<br><br>
Is he abusive? Verbally or physically? If so, you need to get out of the marriage, but you need to do it in a safe way. Perhaps contact a domestic violence shelter for advice about how to do that.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>captivatedlife</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11528772"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
And I love him. Aren't you MDCers tired of hearing that?<br><br>
But I don't think he's going to change.</div>
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</tr></table></div>
Life is complicated. No person is 100% good or 100% bad. It just doesn't work that way. And this isn't the movies, love doesn't cure all ills. Just because you love someone doesn't mean that you should be together.<br><br>
If your DH wants to change his behavior, it's up to him. Sure, there are things you can do to make his life easier or more difficult, but ultimately his behavior is his choice.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> no matter what you decide.
 
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