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My friend just had a baby boy and had him circ'ed. We'd had the circ discussion in a non-judgemental kind of way... I thought she was reasonable enough to take it to heart.

I found out today that she got him circ'ed. Apparently she was told he experiences the pain like a brush burn, whatever that is...

I feel so sad for the little guy. I really try to respect other people's parenting decisions regardless of how dumb/ignorant/awful I think they might be, but this really changes how I view her.

I know you guys here understand how I feel about this, I didn't know who else I could tell... this just weighs on my heart.
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(((Trudy)))

I know exactly how you feel. A friend asked me for some information on circumcision (she's expecting a boy early next year). I sent her a ton of stuff but haven't heard back from her. I know if they decide to circ their boy it will forever alter our friendship.

Love and peace to you, hon.
 

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I feel terrible for that poor boy.

He is in the minority. He will have peers who are intact and will know what he is missing. I don't know what else to say, but sorry (to this boy's genital integrity). *sigh*
 

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Ya, I know how you feel, my sister circ'ed after I told her we didn't and why. It took me a long time to talk to her again. She really believes with all her self that it is really best. I just feel sick about it, but there is nothing I can do. I rarely see them, but not sil is expecting and will circ to (a nurse in a nursing home, you know) and we will see them more. She has her ultrasound today, man I hope its a girl.
 

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So sad.
I find when non-religious people I know circ, I tend to decide they are not very smart, and that their ignorance causes their children to suffer.

I can't hang out with people in a close way if they do RIC.
 

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Grrr! Yeah, lets circ our newborn so that nurses wont have to take an extra 30 seconds helping them clean under their foreskin 80 years later. Wow, that makes so much sense! I think I'll go get my vulva and clitoral hood cut off right now for the same reason.
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Quote:
Apparently she was told he experiences the pain like a brush burn.
I don't understand how people can "rationalize" this sort of statement. How can they not imagine that having part of your genitals cut off would HURT?!
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Quote:

Originally Posted by stacyann21 View Post
I don't understand how people can "rationalize" this sort of statement. How can they not imagine that having part of your genitals cut off would HURT?!
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actually the really sad thing is that they rationalize it for a child but then you say "well, why not wait until they can decide for themselves when they are older" and ppl think that is more "cruel" b/c then that would be painful... as if it isn't painful for the infant....
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Yeah, there is a guy (pro-circ) over in the "Dad's" forum who said something like:

Waiting until the boy is old enough to decide for himself isn't really a choice, because what boy would say, "Hey Dad, I really want a circ" when he knows how much it's going to hurt!?

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Um, okay, then WHY is it ok to do it to a baby when you're sure they wouldn't choose it on their own later?!?!?
 

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Yeah, you also hear a lot of "he won't remember it." which really gets me-- I'm sure if you punched a baby in the face and didn't cause any permanent damage the baby still wouldn't remember it, but that doesn't make it okay! In my eyes circing is kind of like having a baby's tonsils or appendix removed at birth (because it's usually a "just in case" thing) but really it's worse, because those surgeries are not removing anything he might miss later in life. Not to mention the issue of pain relief.

to the OP! I know how it feels. I always say I'd stay friends with my friends no matter what, but it's SO hard when they make a decision like this!
 

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s I know how you feel Momma! My best friend circed her boy to please her husband and I have never felt the same way about her....and her son is almost four. I was hoping the bad feelings that cropped up because of this would fade, but they haven't yet....still hoping though
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Take care,
Tara
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Amber Lion View Post
Yeah, there is a guy (pro-circ) over in the "Dad's" forum who said something like:

Waiting until the boy is old enough to decide for himself isn't really a choice, because what boy would say, "Hey Dad, I really want a circ" when he knows how much it's going to hurt!?

:

Um, okay, then WHY is it ok to do it to a baby when you're sure they wouldn't choose it on their own later?!?!?
Well, that's the whole point. If circumcision of minors weren't done, circumcision pretty much wouldn't be done. You have to force genital mutilation on a child because no adult with all the information and in their right mind would go through with it for themselves. That goes for both religious and cultural circumcisions.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by frontierpsych
Yeah, you also hear a lot of "he won't remember it." which really gets me-- I'm sure if you punched a baby in the face and didn't cause any permanent damage the baby still wouldn't remember it, but that doesn't make it okay!
My favorite response to the "he won't remember it" line is, "Oh, okay. If I ever feel like torturing someone, I'll make sure to come over to your place and slip you a memory-blocking drug."

Saying that almost always results in a blank look, followed by visible gear-turning, and then a shocked look on their face as they realize the implication.


They generally can't say much of anything in return.

(Alternatively, you can suggest that all adult surgeries be done with memory blocking drugs instead of anesthesia from now on. But I think this is more fun.
)

Bottom line: just because someone won't remember something doesn't make it okay to put them through it.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Jillie View Post
Ya, I know how you feel, my sister circ'ed after I told her we didn't and why. It took me a long time to talk to her again. She really believes with all her self that it is really best. I just feel sick about it, but there is nothing I can do. I rarely see them, but not sil is expecting and will circ to (a nurse in a nursing home, you know) and we will see them more. She has her ultrasound today, man I hope its a girl.
If she does have a girl, you should ask if she plans on circumcising her.

(You know, play that card, and see the response. When she says no, then bring on the "shouldn't boys be protected with the same integrity rights as girls?" card.)
 

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I cannot associate with folks who circumcise their boys... I have an easier time if they truly have religious beliefs, but if they don't then I can't handle it at all
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love and peace.
 

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i have a friend who has 3 boys all circ'd- she said "so they wouldnt look different than daddy". Wow- I dont know nor would I care if my vagina didnt look like my moms! I realize alot of people are uneducated about circ- but it really bothered me with this friend. We went through nursing school together and had a MW as our instructor, she was against circ and educated us on the facts. We also had to watch babies be circ'd- it was one of the worse things I have witnessed
I try not to judge but I do think less of her . How could she do that after what we saw?
 
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