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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was not so fortunate as to discover GD as early as some of you wonderful ladies. I wasn't raised in this way, didn't know anyone who parented this way, had never even read a book about it. I so wish I had come to it sooner but I can't change the past, only offer myself the same love and reassurance that I offer my kids when they make mistakes. I am letting go of the guilt; then I didn't know any better, now I do. When you know better, you do better.


I am a writer and it helps me sort through my emotions and to put things into perspective when I can find a way to write about it. If anyone would care to add to my "I used to _____________, but now I ___________" musings feel free.


I used to be a yeller, but now I am a listener.

I used to be a punisher, but now I am a behavioral guide.

I used to be an authority figure, but now I am someone who offers advice and the wisdom of experience.

I used to be a teacher of knowledge, but now I am a facilitator of learning.

I used to get frustrated with behaviors, but now I look for the causes of those behaviors.

I used to make decisons based on who my children would become, but now I see them for who they are right now.

I used to sometimes spank, but now I only hug.

I used to demand respect, but now I give respect and enjoy seeing it easily returned.

I used to worry what others thought of my children, but now I only worry about what they think of themselves.

I used to be so stressed, but now I am at peace.
 

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Hi there. I haven't posted on MDC since I gave birth to my dd, now almost a year old. I just wanted to say that your post brought tears to my eyes, because it is exactly what I want to learn to be. I am struggling with the concept of discipline and started to read a ton here and learn more about GD.

Just really wanted to say thank you for sharing. It means alot to me.
 

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I think I'm going to print that off and post it on my fridge. What an inspiring post.
 

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I thought of these:

I used to think I was the perfect parent, but now I have my own kid(s).

I used to think cosleeping was weird, but now I love snuggling my child to sleep.

I used to think I'd wean my child at a year, but now I'm proud that he nursed for 3.5 years!
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by CvilleC View Post
These are nice. I'm curious, how did you come to learn about GD?
I had actually never heard the term gentle discipline until I found MDC, I was looking for an unschooling forum and found a wealth of other resources here.


I was practicing the principle before I knew the term simply based on my own instincts. I had no idea what I was doing but I knew that none of the advice I was receiving felt right. I couldn't "be consistent" with punishments as all the books said I should and I certainly couldn't resist picking up my crying child instead of letting him "cry it out". I spent my first few years of motherhood feeling like a failure because we were all unhappy and I thoutht it was because I couldn't do the things all the experts were telling me I should. I had an epiphany one day when I was trying to calm my son's public tantrum and people were walking by, staring. One woman made several trips back and forth and I KNEW she thought I should spank him but I also KNEW that if I did his tantrum would get worse. In that instant I realized that I am the mommy, I know my child, I know what is best for my child. I also finally realized that my inability to "be consistent" was because I just didn't believe it to my core so I was having an internal struggle. I started trusting my instincts that day. It was a process that took time but everything just flowed from there. The knowledge I gained once I found a homeshchool group full of self proclaimed "hippy moms" and from MDC has helped me fine tune those instincts.


I think it is really important to have these conversations because at first I let my guilt over past mistakes keep me from speaking out about them. I was afraid that people would attack me and wouldn't understand that even though I was wrong, I was still doing everything with the intentions of a good mom. That never happened of course but the fear was there, mostly because of my own guilty feeling. I would hate to think that anyone didn't stick around to learn about GD because they were too embarrassed or ashamed to reach out and find a better way, kwim? So, I just wanted to have this thread to share my story and maybe hear some others so people dipping their toes in would know that its okay to be coming from a place that isn't perfect.
 
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