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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok so I have never commented in the "UC" forum before but I am a regular in the "Homebirth" forum.

A little background- I am 25 years old extremely healthy, active, nanny of 4 three year olds, Mother of 3 kids ages, 4,6,7. First was mentally traumatic w/ epidural, second was just a shot type of pain medication cause i was getting nervous, and third was all natural almost born in a car but a hospital birth.

Births have been getting Faster and Faster and I have NO history of being a pusher, The last 2 babies were out in literally 1 push first baby I may have pushed MAYBE 3 times.

I had decided on a homebirth in the first trimester this time for many reasons and I have been getting midwife prenatal care the entire pregnancy.

I've got about 2 or so weeks left in this pregnancy and the thing is that I am starting to change my mind about wanting the midwife in the room with me during the labor and birth but I definitly want someone there to do whatever the baby needs done-that im not comfortable with but I am getting more and more convinced that I want it to be just me and DH present for the waterbirth. I think the last straw was realizing that she was also bringing along an assistant with her, I just dont want all those people in there, Im thinking of telling them to stay in the living room or something which I think she wont have a problem with.

The only concern that I have is the umbilical cord, it seems like in all the videos and in a lot of the stories on here it is wrapped around the babies neck!! What do I need to know about that if I plan to have a waterbirth with just me and DH in the room? Do I actually need to do "anything" as far as that goes?

And I know this sounds strange but im not even sure how I feel about reaching down and doing anything to the baby while it is coming out- Im not a newbie at childbirth but for some reason I just know about that.

Please let me know anything that I need to know about the umbilical cord and "UCing"(just borrowing that terminology-I know it is a touchy subject).
 

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Congratulations on your new baby
!

I am going to just lurk on the thread here, as this is something I'd want done when we have our next baby. I HATED the way DH, the MW, & the assistant just stared at me while I was pushing, it made me feel really self-conscious and uncomfortable.

So, for the next one, I'd still like a MW in the house, but to leave me alone until after the birth. Not sure if I want DH there either yet, but it's still a long ways off yet.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
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Originally Posted by wild~blossom View Post
I HATED the way DH, the MW, & the assistant just stared at me while I was pushing, it made me feel really self-conscious and uncomfortable.

.
This is what I am thinking, And she is bringing an assistant with her. It seems weird for 4 of us to be sitting back in my little bedroom "waiting".
 

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Having a cord around the neck is not the big medical event that it's made out to be. It's actually fairly common. Usually it is loose enough that you can just slip it over their head after it's come out. But if your babies come out that fast then you probably won't need to worry about it-just unwrap it when s/he is out. My last babe had a short cord (I could barely hold him to my chest) and his cord was looped around the back of his neck but I didn't notice until I pulled him out of the water.

Talk to your midwife about this concern and she should give you some advice and reassurance on the matter.
 

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Welcome to the UC board! I understand your concern about having the assistant at the birth. I read recently in a book called Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers by Stanford professor Robert Sapolsky that when a stranger walks into a room where a pregnant rhesus monkey is housed, her fetus rapidly becomes "hypoxic" and "bradycardic" - i.e. their blood pressure drops and their heart rate slows down. How many women are told they "need" a c-section because their baby's heart rate has dropped? Our bodies, and consequently our babies, are very sensitive to the presence of strangers, especially in labor.

As far as the cord, I've read that the cord is around the neck approximately 25% of the time. Many midwives and UCer's I know don't even check for it anymore, as generally it can be easily unwound either as the baby is emerging or after. I never checked for it in my own births, although when I noticed that it was around my last daughter's neck I simply unwound it as she was emerging. This is one of the many things people panic about. But I honestly believe the panic - and therefore release of labor-stopping hormones such as adrenaline and noradrenaline - is more dangerous to the baby than the actual cord. "Traditional birth attendant" Gloria Lemay has said that it is the smart babies who keep the cord around their necks as it keeps it from coming out first.

Granted, there are some cases where the cord is very tight but from what I've read this isn't the norm. Of course many women have been told that their babies are in distress, and once again, "need" a c-section. And when the baby is delivered there is indeed a cord around its neck, presumably proving the doctor right. However, I personally believe that in most cases, it wasn't the cord that caused the "distress," but rather unnecessary medical intervention, drugs, and/or fear on the part of the mother or her attendants.

One more note - I have a letter in my files from a woman who had 7 babies at home and all 7 had the cord around their necks - in one case twice, and in another 3 times. All the babies were fine.

In any case, good luck!
Laura
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by laurashanley View Post
I read recently in a book called Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers by Stanford professor Robert Sapolsky
Sounds like a great read!

To OP, I empathize with your plight. Don't give up, be firm with the midwife about what you want. Sometimes things work out better than you could have imagined. Perhaps you can enlist a pushy friend, a doula, or your husband to handle the situation and make sure your wishes are respected while you are in labor.
 

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My plan if I call the midwife to my house before I'm already pushing out the baby is to have her and DH and DS several feet away and any assistants outside the door. It's not fair to ask the midwife herself to be there but on the other end of the house for the big event, I feel. She would feel responsible for the "just-in-case"s yet helpless. If you feel strongly that you do not want your midwife in the room, but do want her available at a moment's notice, talk to her openly about it and see where she's at.

As for cords around the neck, I've read it happens in 1/3 of all births and yeah it's generally not an issue whatsoever, unless very tight or very short which are rare instances. Just slip it right off soon as DH or you can.
 

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I'd talk to your MW -- tell her that you appreciate her care and expertise, and that you'd like to have it be just you and DH. If she's not supportive, you may need to find someone else. (That was one of my requirements for a backup MW for my recent UC, that she be willing to come and sit in another room if we so desired. Of course in that case we would have paid her the same as if she had attended us fully, so be sure to discuss that with the MW.)

As for the cord, my son's cord was around his neck once. Totally not a big deal, even though we were UC'ing. His head was born very fast, and my 6yo actually told DH that he had to get the cord off (not that he didn't already know that, LOL). The cord had plenty of length, and DH was able to slip it off easily, and then the baby was born pretty quickly (he just slid out). If it hadn't come off easily, I would have directed DH to "somersault" the baby's body out through the cord, keeping the head close to the perineum. We also had a couple of birth manuals handy that we could have referenced, and our backup MW was on speed dial; she wouldn't have been right there for a little while, but she could have walked us through some stuff. Baby was fine, no problem at all.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
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Originally Posted by sewingmama View Post
Of course in that case we would have paid her the same as if she had attended us fully, so be sure to discuss that with the MW.)
Just Got her completely paid off last week!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
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Originally Posted by JamieCatheryn View Post
She would feel responsible for the "just-in-case"s yet helpless. If you feel strongly that you do not want your midwife in the room, but do want her available at a moment's notice, talk to her openly about it and see where she's at.
Sounds like your talking "Liability"- Does anyone know the laws on this?
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by laurashanley View Post
when a stranger walks into a room where a pregnant rhesus monkey is housed, her fetus rapidly becomes "hypoxic" and "bradycardic" - i.e. their blood pressure drops and their heart rate slows down.
This happened to me with my first baby which took place in a Medical University and there were students walking in and out the ENTIRE time. Now 7 years later I know the reason. All these alarms went off and I had to lay on my left side because his blood pressure dropped.

Thanks for sharing this.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Thanks for all the replies ladies, Im much less worried about my baby coming out purple and choking- (Talk about my imagination running away with me-I know)

Im not that concerned about asking her to wait outside, That wasnt a concern for me but i'm hoping its not a legal matter that she must be in there.

Amanda
 

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It is fair to ask the midwife to wait outside. You and your dh will be right there as your baby is born. It's not as though there is something special the mw would have to do to the baby as he/she emerges. Plenty of times in hospitals, the baby is out before the OB can "catch". If there are any issues that require the mw it will take only a few seconds for her to get started.

Please don't feel obligated to invite the mw in for crowning unless you want to. If the baby doesn't start breathing properly, you wouldn't know for a minute anyway, and certainly your dh and you would be talking to the baby and rubbing her and doing the normal gentle types of stimulation that take place before trying cpr.
 

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Three out of three midwives I asked this question of said they would need to be in the room but that dh or I would be "allowed" to catch our baby.

I really didn't like only being "allowed" to do what I want in my own home with my own body and baby. The 5 seconds it would take to climb the stairs or open the bathroom door in an emergence won't make a difference either way. Maybe it depends on the size of your house.
 

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amandamcgrady, thanks for this thread (lurker here). As I continue on my path to motherhood, UC resounds with me more and more. I'm a really private person and hubby and I live a pretty secluded, introverted life together, so UC sounds perfect right?

Then i wander over into the other threads and hear how people LOVE and swear by their midwives and then I get swooned by THAT notion too, lol


Having a "private birth" seems like a good compromise (well, that is unless I don't finally figure out that i definitely want a UC or definitely want an outside birth team to "help" me birth). However, i also wonder how I would approach a midwife with this or if it would be offensive (i dunno how tho, i'd still be paying her the full amount, so *shrugs*).

*subscribes*
 

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Well, Hopefully I can comment as a midwife over here. I think it's fair to ask the midwife to sit in another room. But you have to find a midwife willing to do that. If I do come and sit in another room, I expect to be paid my fee. I often do just that. I agree with some of the other moms who feel uncomfortable having us midwives sitting around staring at you while you labor and push. So my partner or apprentice and I will often go to bed or go to another room with directions to call when we are needed or let mom know we will check in periodically, we discuss what everyone wants.

As far as missing the big event, it's not MY big event, it's yours. It's not about me, it's all about you, your family. So if that means I don't get to see it, then so be it. But if you feel more comfortable having a midwife in the house, then I'm willing to do that. and I can come in right afterward to help with the placenta, check bleeding, tears, etc. Sometimes people have us come down the day after to do the check, they don't even need us at the birth.

As far as liability, as a midwife, there is always a risk, so i guess it's what we are comfortable with. if i got uncomfortable during the birth, i wouldn't hestitate to express that to the parents and if needed, leave. But I have found that most parents trust my judgement because they know I don't jump to overreacting, at least I try really hard not too. I want each parent to have the birth they want and to take the responsibility. And I am aware that I am possibility going to be held liable for problems during the labor and birth no matter what, that just goes with the territory.

Anyway, again, hope it's OK for me to post, but just thought I'd give my thoughts as a midwife, hope everything goes well for you and you have the birth you want!

Oh, as far as the cord, 1 in 4 babies have cord around the neck. If that happens, you can hook it and keep it loose, then you can "somersault" baby out, I have only had to cut cord once and in looking back, it was probably more due to inexperience than necessity. I'm more concerned with cords across the chest. Doctors in the hospital make a much bigger deal about cords than necessary, I think they are pretty common and normal.

Good luck!!!
:
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100% talk to your MW about what she's comfortable with. I'd be asking her not only if she's okay with waiting in another room to be called when/if needed, but also asking if she can do without the assistant.
personally, I like to have an assistant, but it's not necessary, and I've attended births without one. It has to be up to your MW in the end, but you need to find a plan that everyone can be comfortable with.
If your MW isn't okay with waiting in another room, at least see if the assistant can be in the other room untill needed, if needed.

if you feel everything's going okay, you might not even call the MW when the time comes to it. (though she should still be paid the agreed fee).

cord around the neck is common and generally no big deal at all (as PPs mentioned). if you can't slip the cord over the babe's head, and it seems to be very tightly wrapped, you can hold the cord off the baby's neck by inserting a finger or 2 under the cord, then unwrap the cord as soon as the baby is out.

all i can say is trust your body, it knows what it's doing

and read as much as you can if that will help you gain confidence. there's a wealth of info on this forum.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by laurashanley View Post
Welcome to the UC board! I understand your concern about having the assistant at the birth. I read recently in a book called Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers by Stanford professor Robert Sapolsky that when a stranger walks into a room where a pregnant rhesus monkey is housed, her fetus rapidly becomes "hypoxic" and "bradycardic" - i.e. their blood pressure drops and their heart rate slows down. How many women are told they "need" a c-section because their baby's heart rate has dropped? Our bodies, and consequently our babies, are very sensitive to the presence of strangers, especially in labor.

As far as the cord, I've read that the cord is around the neck approximately 25% of the time. Many midwives and UCer's I know don't even check for it anymore, as generally it can be easily unwound either as the baby is emerging or after. I never checked for it in my own births, although when I noticed that it was around my last daughter's neck I simply unwound it as she was emerging. This is one of the many things people panic about. But I honestly believe the panic - and therefore release of labor-stopping hormones such as adrenaline and noradrenaline - is more dangerous to the baby than the actual cord. "Traditional birth attendant" Gloria Lemay has said that it is the smart babies who keep the cord around their necks as it keeps it from coming out first.

Granted, there are some cases where the cord is very tight but from what I've read this isn't the norm. Of course many women have been told that their babies are in distress, and once again, "need" a c-section. And when the baby is delivered there is indeed a cord around its neck, presumably proving the doctor right. However, I personally believe that in most cases, it wasn't the cord that caused the "distress," but rather unnecessary medical intervention, drugs, and/or fear on the part of the mother or her attendants.

One more note - I have a letter in my files from a woman who had 7 babies at home and all 7 had the cord around their necks - in one case twice, and in another 3 times. All the babies were fine.

In any case, good luck!
Laura

yeah, that
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by laurashanley View Post
Welcome to the UC board! I understand your concern about having the assistant at the birth. I read recently in a book called Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers by Stanford professor Robert Sapolsky that when a stranger walks into a room where a pregnant rhesus monkey is housed, her fetus rapidly becomes "hypoxic" and "bradycardic" - i.e. their blood pressure drops and their heart rate slows down. How many women are told they "need" a c-section because their baby's heart rate has dropped? Our bodies, and consequently our babies, are very sensitive to the presence of strangers, especially in labor.

As far as the cord, I've read that the cord is around the neck approximately 25% of the time. Many midwives and UCer's I know don't even check for it anymore, as generally it can be easily unwound either as the baby is emerging or after. I never checked for it in my own births, although when I noticed that it was around my last daughter's neck I simply unwound it as she was emerging. This is one of the many things people panic about. But I honestly believe the panic - and therefore release of labor-stopping hormones such as adrenaline and noradrenaline - is more dangerous to the baby than the actual cord. "Traditional birth attendant" Gloria Lemay has said that it is the smart babies who keep the cord around their necks as it keeps it from coming out first.

Granted, there are some cases where the cord is very tight but from what I've read this isn't the norm. Of course many women have been told that their babies are in distress, and once again, "need" a c-section. And when the baby is delivered there is indeed a cord around its neck, presumably proving the doctor right. However, I personally believe that in most cases, it wasn't the cord that caused the "distress," but rather unnecessary medical intervention, drugs, and/or fear on the part of the mother or her attendants.

One more note - I have a letter in my files from a woman who had 7 babies at home and all 7 had the cord around their necks - in one case twice, and in another 3 times. All the babies were fine.

In any case, good luck!
Laura

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maggi315 View Post
Well, Hopefully I can comment as a midwife over here. I think it's fair to ask the midwife to sit in another room. But you have to find a midwife willing to do that. If I do come and sit in another room, I expect to be paid my fee. I often do just that. I agree with some of the other moms who feel uncomfortable having us midwives sitting around staring at you while you labor and push. So my partner or apprentice and I will often go to bed or go to another room with directions to call when we are needed or let mom know we will check in periodically, we discuss what everyone wants.

As far as missing the big event, it's not MY big event, it's yours. It's not about me, it's all about you, your family. So if that means I don't get to see it, then so be it. But if you feel more comfortable having a midwife in the house, then I'm willing to do that. and I can come in right afterward to help with the placenta, check bleeding, tears, etc. Sometimes people have us come down the day after to do the check, they don't even need us at the birth.

As far as liability, as a midwife, there is always a risk, so i guess it's what we are comfortable with. if i got uncomfortable during the birth, i wouldn't hestitate to express that to the parents and if needed, leave. But I have found that most parents trust my judgement because they know I don't jump to overreacting, at least I try really hard not too. I want each parent to have the birth they want and to take the responsibility. And I am aware that I am possibility going to be held liable for problems during the labor and birth no matter what, that just goes with the territory.

Anyway, again, hope it's OK for me to post, but just thought I'd give my thoughts as a midwife, hope everything goes well for you and you have the birth you want!

Oh, as far as the cord, 1 in 4 babies have cord around the neck. If that happens, you can hook it and keep it loose, then you can "somersault" baby out, I have only had to cut cord once and in looking back, it was probably more due to inexperience than necessity. I'm more concerned with cords across the chest. Doctors in the hospital make a much bigger deal about cords than necessary, I think they are pretty common and normal.

Good luck!!!
:
:
Thanks for all of this advice!
 
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