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I have an 8 month old DD with PWS. I am also a full time nursing student. Hopefully graduating in 2010. I am so unsettled about the whole concept of limiting myself to one baby. I have always wanted to have more than one.<br>
DH is pretty set that one is the limit for us. I did have an IUD placed because right now I know I want a baby for selfish reasons. I had a very hard pregnancy and spent lots of time on bed rest. Even with that I still delivered 9 weeks premature with and emergency c-section. I went into labor 4 times and even the last one didn't know I was in labor until they told me. I just didn't feel right. 3rd one was bad back pain that was all. I just couldn't sleep through it. I am so scared that if I did have another baby that I would be away from home and in labor prematurely and not know and have it to be too late by the time I figured it out. The night my dd delivered the doctor had to tell me you are in labor and that had she not been breech she probably would have been crowning right then. They figured that at 6cm she would have been delivered and at 8 had I stood up she would have fallen out(essentially) That scares me still. I just don't know what to think. I wanted to BF so badly but with PWS dd never got the hang of it and with nursing school my milk supply petered out at finals (baby was 6 months) Pumping full time is not the same as BF. I guess I think I want another right now more for me. I want a "normal" baby. I want to have a "normal" delivery. I want to have my choice to BF. See utterly selfish and what really is normal anyway??? I just had to vent this all out. Seems I need to talk and nobody ever knows what to say. I know it is between me and God to hash out but....most days I just want to cry.
 

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I know how you feel. I have said I am only having one over and over again, but I see my friends with babies and I want another Soooo bad. First, I want a homebirth, where as last time I had a highly medicalized birth. My DS was normal, but I want to buy things I wasn't able to get last time, like expensive CD's and lots of slings.<br>
I don't feel like I took full advantage of AP, when my DS was an infant. I didn't start wearing him until he was about a month old, I used Prefolds ect.<br>
It seems silly, because I usually don't like to spend money but, its just one of those things. I want to Cloth diaper and baby wear again.<br><br>
I completely understand the whole, wanting a baby for the worng reasons. The truth is lots of women feel the very same way. Esspecially if things didn't work out the first time around.<br><br>
Denise
 

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I can't count how many times I've fantasized having another baby just to 'do over' all the things I felt went terribly wrong. I had an out of the blue traumatic cesarean. It's been 2 and a half years and through talking with friends with similar experiences and the International Cesarean Network I finally feel like I could have a kid for the right reasons. Finding a support group changed my life!<br><br>
I think it's healthy to process all those feelings. They are real...you REALLY do wish you could go back and change things, but unfortunately there is no guarantee that next time would be ideal either. It's okay to be mad that things went the way they did, but you can't change it so you have to use it to be better and do better next time. If you really want a baby in a year, do it! I've decided that if you wait for the right time you'll be waiting forever. School, money, child spacing, etc. And who knows, maybe having another would be therapeutic. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
 

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{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<br><br>
I know how you feel too.<br><br><br>
I also fantasize about having the "perfect" pregnancy... as mine have all been hard and/or complicated.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> mama. Don't be too hard on yourself, it sounds like you've been through a lot. I have no advice. If it makes you feel better I've thought about how if I got pregnant again now I'd have an excuse to quit school even though I'm 4 years through a 5 year degree. That's soooo irresponsible of me b/c if I quit we'd have a really hard time makes ends meet for the rest of our lives. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Have you thought that maybe you want another is because of you not BF right now? Your feel good hormones are not there. And remember your baby is still a baby.<br><br>
Why not try to re-lactate? If only to give the milk a few times a day and at night? That will bring back those happy feelings.<br><br>
Good luck and sorry you have had such a difficult pregnancy, delivery and post-partum time.
 

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I couldn't read and not respond--sometimes I feel exactly the same way. Mine wasn't nearly as traumatic as yours, I just want to have a homebirth and do AP from the very beginning. And this thread brings up the question--What's the RIGHT reason to want another baby? That's different for everyone. So it could very well be that God is laying it on your heart to have another one because this *is* the right reason for you. Who knows?
 
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