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I want another child and my DH is dead set against it. We have 2 children and i have even told him that i would get my tubes tied if he let me have another but he wont budge. What do you do? I mean i feel like there is another child to be in my life. I dont feel done at all but he is DONE DONE DONE. He even told me that he would have been fine with just one and only had DD becausdoe I wanted her. Anyway I dont know what to do with this. I know it is not right to make him do something he is against but at the same time i want another... who is right here ... anyone else in this situation?<br><br>
Melda
 

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Hiya there. I don't know if there is anything you can really do. I know that is probably not the answer you want to hear, but I just think about the implications on your marriage and on the innocent life you brought into this world if he/she wasn't wanted by your Dh. I am sure your hubby is a good guy and would love the child once it was here, but do you really want it that way? I also don't know how old your children are, maybe in a couple of years your hubby may feel differently. There are no easy answers in these types of situations, but I think a child should be wanted by both of the people who create him/her and if your husband is dead set against it, I personally would not want to bring a child into that situation. That is just me though.<br><br>
That having beeen said though, your feelings should be considered too. Have you gotten to the bottom of why he doesn't want another? Is he worried about finances? More stress? Even less time with you? Is he at an age where he doesn't want to be like 70 when his last child is graduating high school? Things like that should be addressed...<br><br>
Good luck to you! I am in (somewhat) of a similar situation. My husband adores our new daughter, but I know he wouldn't be too jazzed about any more children... though I don't think he is *dead* set against it... I don't think it is something he would suggest though ... lol...
 

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I hope you guys can come to an agreement on this. Both DH and I have stalled on wanting more children at various times in our marriage. I wanted #2 way before DH did, but I respected his wishes. We were finally ready when DS#1 was almost 7 years old. Then, after DS#2 was born, my DH actually wanted to TTC#3 sooner than I did.<br><br>
In both of the above cases, we talked it through and did not make any moves until both of us were in agreement. Just as I respected his wishes when wanting #2, he respected mine when he was ready for #3. I hope you and your DH can have some good conversations and reach an agreement on this very important subject.<br><br>
It wasn't easy, but I'm glad that we waited until we were both ready. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Just sending you a <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">. I'm in the same boat myself.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> for you mama.<br>
Have you tried talking to him with this matter. What are his reasons? Take a deeper look on it and extend your understanding. Maybe it would be the best for your family at this point. Good Luck mama. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s. I'm there too. Dh is done. Because I'm not ready to ttc #3 I'm acting as if there will be no #3 and working on stuff that I need to work on. I'm trying to finally take off weight, figure out if I want a career and to go back to school and acting "as if" we are done. Once our boys are older I'll reevaluate what I want and then decide if I want to have the conversation again.<br><br>
I guess what I'm saying is try to figure out why you want another baby if you haven't done so already. I mean really really think about it. I was surprised at where my mind went as I was doing that. I've journalled on it and decided that the decision doesn't have to be made today. I'm living the no more kids decision for now and seeing how I cope. I'm getting over how unfair I thought it was at first that he made the decision without me and understanding his POV. In about a year I'll revisit it with myself and then maybe with him.<br><br>
Today is a good day, though, so maybe that's why this post sounds so rational.<br><br>
I hope you and your dh can work to peace,<br><br>
Annette
 

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I guess what I'm saying is try to figure out why you want another baby if you haven't done so already. I mean really really think about it. I was surprised at where my mind went as I was doing that.</div>
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I definitely agree with that. We also went through this. I wanted to try for #3 and DH was definitely done at 2. I agreed with all his arguments (need to have time to focus on the 2 we have, he's a SAHD and has made the career "sacrifice" and feels the need to go back sooner rather than later...) So I also took a good long look at what was making me feel so compelled to have another. For me it came down to going through pregnancy, labor, and baby stage one more time. I still sort of grieve that whole thing, that we are definitely done. However I came to realize that MY reasons were pretty selfish, and not thinking as much about the whole family.
 
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