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I want out

862 Views 4 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  theretohere
so, being a single mama is sooo much easier! Im not married, but with my ds father,he has a good job we live in a nice home and get buy but, my soul is being sucked out! We have nothing in common! I need some stimmulating conversation, books, music, art, parenting I would love for him to pick up one of the many dr.Sears books or mothering and be on the same page with me and discuss what is important. my passion for good health and taking care of yourself, which he "has no time for" My 9yr old spent 7 1/2 yrs alone and I miss her. him and I fight alll the time about everything he will not back me up on anything and has to disagree most of the time. Of course there is no way I can do this on my own money wise there are no jobs in MI and it cost so much in child care it cost to much to work. drrr any advice?
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If he wont do couples counseling then try to go to individual and talk through stuff for yourself.

Make up a plan for yourself if it doesn't work out. You need a seperate bank account, you need to work up a resume, scan jobs, maybe apply for school?

Come up with a plan and you will feel more in control even if you never end up using it. Also try to see if you can join a group of some sort... with or without kids and try to get some of that stimulation you need from it... see if that helps.

You can make your life what you want it, but it takes time and effort.

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I am confused about this statement.... I assume you have a 9year old that you now do not live with and that this has something to do with your new SO?


Originally Posted by journeyq View Post
s My 9yr old spent 7 1/2 yrs alone and I miss her.:

Also, it sounds like you need to learn to communicate and your SO does too. My DH and I are a very, very good match. We love each other and respect each other.... the thing is that until we had our DD I would never have known some of his opinions or ways of being... which don't necessarily jive with me. But he is a different person. Also, now that we are getting older some of our health choices need to be different... this change comes fairly easy for me, but for him it is a struggle and I find myself being very judgemental of him when really I shouldn't be.

It sounds like you are have some 'the grass is always greener' syndrome going on. YOu owe it to your family to do EVERYTHING you can to hold it together. Counseling sounds good.... maybe for couples, at the very least for each of you individually....

Good Luck

Oh and by the way most people want out at one time or another in their relationship.... divorce (or seperation in you case) sucks more than almost anything.... think about it.
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