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I have got to get this out. Maybe I'll get over it if I complain.<br><br>
I'm not supposed to be pregnant - we were doing what we were supposed to do to not be pregnant. The condom failed. And now I'm pregnant. I'm sick all day long without reprieve. I can't think of a worse due date than 12/31 (maybe 12/25, but that's a possibility). I'm tired. My toddler needs more time and attention from me than I can give. My husband is doing most of the housework because I'm too nauseated to stand for more than a minute and a half. A baby isn't in the budget. Speaking of budget, I haven't been working as much as I should (freelance writer) because I'm so freaking sick and tired all of the time and that's just blowing our budget to shreds. I keep hoping maybe things will get better in the second tri, but really don't believe it - I was sick until 17 weeks with my daughter and then it started up again at 28 weeks. I want to take my kid to the park and on walks...and it's so hard to get out of the house. How am I going to manage with 2 kids? I can't even fathom being home alone all day with a toddler and a newborn. How do I balance their naps? And her activities with the new baby's needs? I'm already scared of it. We planned on having a second baby but not for another year or so...I need time to mentally prepare for the sick and tired and crappy feelings. I'm not a pleasant, happy pregnant person. I'm grumpy. Currently I resent this baby for messing up all of our plans - no more Christmas with my husband's 94-yr-old grandmother. I resent this baby for stopping the progress I was finally making in weight loss. I am not happy about it. It's been a month since I tested, shouldn't I be getting excited by now?<br><br>
There it's out. And I don't feel better. But maybe I will. I'm an optimist.
 

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I'm so sorry this pregnancy is causing so much stress and anxiety. Be gentle with yourself, let yourself feel the feelings. I hope that you start to feel better physically soon.<br><br>
((((Hugs))))
 

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I know it's tough when the unexpected happens. But I bet this little Baby Spirit saw your beautiful family and couldn't help itself but to want to be a part of it, too. It's not intentionally causing you this distress or sickness, it just wants to be with you.<br>
I agree that you should let yourself feel all of these emotions so that you can process them in a healthy way without taking them out on the little one (or the rest of your family).Hang in there. Pregnancy is only for a short time in the long run, though it may not feel like it presently. In the mean time, you have a whole bunch of support right here. Hugs.
 

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I couldn't not respond. I have been having a really hard time relating to my pregnancy. I also feel like I needed a bit more time (alhtough we weren't preventing - I just didn't think it would happen so easily). I am TERRIFIED of a toddler and a newborn.<br><br>
I had days where I thought a miscarraige might be a blessing.<br><br>
Now I am 11 weeks, and I have had one or two days where I feel "I can do this". It is nothing like my first pregnancy, but I am starting to feel more optimistic.<br><br>
Hang in there. Don't try to stop what you are feeling, I think that will only make it harder in the long run. Let yourself be, and in time your feelings could change. Do you have anyone you can talk to? Anyone you trust who won't judge you?<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
It is so hard to not feel celebratory about being pregnant.
 

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I'm so sorry, mama. I can totally relate- we weren't planning on having #2 for at least another year or two- I got pregnant my first cycle post-partum.<br><br>
I have a lot of anxiety, because I wanted to nurse our daughter as long as she wanted, and already I feel unsettled about it- bf'ing through pregnancy is difficult! I wanted to working on our signing and make more baby food and about a million other things...<br><br>
I work full-time, and my ms is so bad that I've resorted to keeping a toothbrush at work and napping under my desk at lunch. By the time I get home, all I want to do is sleep. Even though I know I only have a few more months to focus all my attention on my daughter, I have so little patience and energy right now.<br><br>
It's not a fun place to be, but you're not alone there. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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We wanted this baby, AND we were not preventing, but sometimes I wonder "what the hell was I thinking?".<br><br>
It sounds like feeling sick is probably not helping matters. I would highly advise seeing an acupuncturist. I went last Friday and I felt SO MUCH better afterwards. I have not had to wear my sea bands since then and I have an appointment tomorrow where I am going to ask her to PLEASE make the fatigue go away. I am still tired, but we are also getting over a really awful nasty food borne illness (yesterday was the first day sine May 8th that I have pooped normally).<br><br>
I would also maybe reach out and see if there is a life coach or therapist that works with families and help you resolve your feelings about this. I am not good at doing those things myself <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
I think everyone thinks you should be SO HAPPY. And it is ok if you are not. DH and I are scared to death about this now that it is facing us. But honestly, we were the same way with DS, so I am confident we will figure it out, somehow.....<br><br>
When I feel overwhelmed, I watch John and Kate plus 8. That used to make me feel a lot more sane. Oh, and the show with like 19 kids? Yeah, if she can do 19, then I can do 2, right?
 

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I think the main advice I want to give you, is this: do not feel guilty about feeling this way. It is so much more common than you would think. But there is a taboo on pregnant women expressing negative feelings. We are all supposed to be happy, and glowing, and throwing up with style while grateful for the hormones. And for some of us that is true. But for a lot of us it isn't.<br>
The joy will come, maybe it will take a few more weeks, maybe months, and maybe it won't be until you actually have the baby and realize that yes, of course you can handle a toddler and a newborn!<br>
Don't beat yourself up over it. It's hard enough without that. Lots of hugs to you, I hope things turn around for you really soon! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug">
 

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I couldn't read this without posting. I too have been in this place, my first was a very trying 3 year old and I got pg with dd, right as I started collage, I was unmarried and her father was in a realtionship. I felt like crap almost the whole pregnacy. I wish I had support people telling me it was ok to feel the way I was feeling. I tryied to push it away and pretended to be happy.<br>
I didn't want an abortion, I just wanted to not be pg.<br><br><br>
what everyone has posted here sounds really great. we're here for you
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Thanks, everyone. This morning I found out a friend of mine who has been TTC for a long time is finally pregnant and...I don't know...it made me feel better about being pregnant myself. Or maybe getting it out last night really did help. I've talked to my husband about it a little bit, but he's so practical ("can't stop it now so just accept it") and just doesn't understand. I'm still not exactly happy to be pregnant, but I'm feeling less resentful today. Maybe when I hear the heartbeat in a few weeks, it'll be even better.
 

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Sometimes I think this baby is coming at a really bad time too. We just got a letter that we owe a few thousand dollars to our home state (hubby's college that he never finished) AND our apartment lease ends right near my due date. He wants to buy a house but I seriously doubt we'll be able to afford it with the baby. Sometimes I doubt we can afford the baby by itself. Is it even possible to move in the same 2 week frame you're supposed to be giving birth?! Hubby is so busy with work (army) I don't know how its going to happen or even if we're going to be living in the same state since he's supposed to re-enlist this summer. For all I know I'll be giving birth in Germany or Virginia. If they move him he'll probably be eligible to deploy again not even a month after the baby is born (instead of going 6 months when the baby is 5 months old). How would I take care of a new baby for a year by myself in a state/country I've never been to before??
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>littlebearsmama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15442542"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I know it's tough when the unexpected happens. But I bet this little Baby Spirit saw your beautiful family and couldn't help itself but to want to be a part of it, too. It's not intentionally causing you this distress or sickness, it just wants to be with you.<br>
I agree that you should let yourself feel all of these emotions so that you can process them in a healthy way without taking them out on the little one (or the rest of your family).Hang in there. Pregnancy is only for a short time in the long run, though it may not feel like it presently. In the mean time, you have a whole bunch of support right here. Hugs.</div>
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What an inspirational, beautiful encouragement. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 
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