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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My 4.5 year old son had his OT today for his sensory processing. I was SO excited she asked me to bring in a short sleeve shirt for him (which he refuses to wear them, he will only pajama tops) and she brushed him and then asked if he wanted to do the shaving cream, she brought it out and showed him and then told him that he would need to put his short sleeve shirt on. He first looked very worried and then he said "no." and she said "well if you want to do the shaving cream you have to wear it." Then she offered him to go in the tent by himself to put it on and about 2 mins later he came out with the long sleeve on!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dropjaw">I could not believe it! I have not seen him in one for about a 1.5 years! I was so excited and happy, he did ask for his shirt a few times and looked "uncomfortable" but he wore it for about 15 mins and then he was allowed to put his long sleeve back on. So I am soooo happy over this!!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
Then at the end she gave me the brush to take home today and the info on how to brush and then I talked to her about him be a perfectionist about everything from painting, coloring and just everything in general. And she said yes she sees that, and that some of it is behavioral and that he may see me as a "perfect mom" always doing everything perfect...trying to keep the house clean, making the bed and sees me as being a "perfectionist ". I wanted to cry right there, I have never EVER said anything he has done is not right and I am not a perfectionist and the house is less than perfect etc. She said he processes that all in a different manner and sees it this way?<br><br>
I feel like his problems are from me now.. I did not ask he what she meant as I was in shock as to what I was hearing. I just feel like this is all my fault...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:<br>
I do not know if thats what kids with sensory issues do.. or what.<br><br>
I just do not understand why he would put the shirt on there? Is it the brushing? I feel like I (my hubby) are the problem now... He is never thrown a fit or butted heads with his OT like he does with hubby myself, family etc..<br><br>
I dunno.. I just am lost right now.
 

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I am willing to bet that NONE of your child's behaviours are your fault. I have worked with hundreds of children all over the map developmentally, and all of them will do things for people that are not their parents, that they would never do for their parents. Does that make any sense? For example, I worked with a little girl with autism, who would allow me to put her hair in a pony tail, but she wouldn't let her parents. She felt safe around her parents, she was comfortable saying no to them. My own son, who is NT, but very high needs, throws a huge tantrum when I try to put sunscreen on him, yet his grandfather puts it on him without a fuss. I think you should be proud of your son, he feels safe to be himself around you, but has the strength to try new things because you allow him to feel safe most of the time.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>zipworth</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8192827"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I am willing to bet that NONE of your child's behaviours are your fault. I have worked with hundreds of children all over the map developmentally, and all of them will do things for people that are not their parents, that they would never do for their parents. Does that make any sense? For example, I worked with a little girl with autism, who would allow me to put her hair in a pony tail, but she wouldn't let her parents. She felt safe around her parents, she was comfortable saying no to them. My own son, who is NT, but very high needs, throws a huge tantrum when I try to put sunscreen on him, yet his grandfather puts it on him without a fuss. I think you should be proud of your son, he feels safe to be himself around you, but has the strength to try new things because you allow him to feel safe most of the time.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"></div>
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Oh mama.. Thank you so much! That makes me feel a ton better. As a mum with a son that has been like this since day one it seems I just felt like I had just been told I had failed. And his OT is soo sweet and nice that I just was<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:.<br><br>
I have to ask when a OT says that its behavioral does that mean that its <span style="text-decoration:underline;">not</span> behavior because of his sensory issues or other issues that may be going on.. Or what does it mean? I just really do not understand what she was trying to say.<br><br>
Also, she said that him wearing long sleeve shirts could have been a way to get our attention? I just dont see this, its like a natural instinct for him almost. And he is our only child and gets alot of attention for his good behaviour.<br><br>
I really am just talking out loud here....
 

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I doubt you caused your son's sensory issues by keeping the house too clean! I worry that our house being messy makes it harder for dd to be organized and process information.<br><br>
I wonder if the OT meant that when kids see parents doing things easily that are so challenging for the kids, they tend to become frustrated? Or something like that?<br><br>
That's great that your son would wear the shirt!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>robinkate</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8193919"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I doubt you caused your son's sensory issues by keeping the house too clean! I worry that our house being messy makes it harder for dd to be organized and process information.<br><br>
I wonder if the OT meant that when kids see parents doing things easily that are so challenging for the kids, they tend to become frustrated? Or something like that?<br><br>
That's great that your son would wear the shirt!</div>
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Maybe she did mean that? I dont know.<br>
She did try to explain and say that he sees me doing all those things and processes all that in a different way. But, I still felt like I had done something wrong along the way.<br><br>
Thanks mama! I am so glad I have this board, I dont know any one IRL with a child with sensory issues.
 

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ARGH!!!!!! I just typed a really long response to you and my "D"H used the window to do some searches and lost my post. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/banghead.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="banghead"> I'll try again.<br><br>
I have several thoughts for you:<br><br>
1. I have had the same experience as zipworth - I work with many kids with sensory issues and they all do things with me that they don't/won't do with their parents. I see several reasons for this: I am really good at breaking up my expectations into manageable (for the kids) steps and making it gradual. Many parents just expect their child to do the thing right off the bat. Not going to happen! Secondly, many kids with sensory needs have routines that involve places and people as well as activities, which means that they will try something new with a new person but not with a person that they already have a routine with. They also often assign roles/uses for items that can be broken if done differently. The way I see it, your son won't wear a ss shirt as clothing, but at the OT session, he already had his clothing, a ls shirt, and was just wearing the ss shirt as a "costume" for the shaving cream. Like a bathing suit for swimming. With you, he may think that he'll need to wear the shirt all day but with the OT it was part of that activity. Thirdly, sometimes parents don't realize that they need to treat even everyday activities as something requiring lots of positive reinforcement that may need to be external rather than internal.<br><br>
2. I think him wearing the ss shirt was a combo of the brushing, the new environment and person, and a willingness to do it in order to engage in an activity that he wanted to do.<br><br>
3. About the perfectionism - I don't see her as saying that you are in any way to blame. Kids with sensory issues often thrive on routine and exactness and him seeing you as a perfect parent whether you are or not is his issue, not yours.<br><br>
4. When she says a behavior is behavioral, she means that it does NOT have a sensory reason. All of the kids I work with have some behaviors that they exhibit in response to an unpleasant sensory sensation, some behaviors that they exhibit as inappropriate ways of communicating, and sometimes a combo of both.<br><br>
5. I completely disagree with her that him wearing a ls shirt is his way of getting your attention. And I think you need to pursue that further with her because although she sounds good otherwise, I am wary of someone who would think that such an obvious sensory issue is totally behavioral. I know quite a few kids who will only wear long sleeved shirts, for the obvious reason that short sleeved shirts have a hem that rubs against your arm unpredictably, whereas ls shirts usually have cuffs and are firmer against your skin. Also, with ss shirts, your arms are exposed to unpredictable light touches - wind, insects, other parts of clothing, etc.<br><br>
I think it would really help you to read some literature on sensory processing disorder so that you feel more confident in identifying which of your son's issues are related to his sensory needs, and that you don't feel bad about your parenting. I highly recommend The Out-of-Sync Child, and The Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun;. The first discusses sensory issues and the second has many games and activities to do with your SID child to have fun and also help sensory processing.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I'm sorry you are feeling as if your son's issues are your fault in any way. They aren't. I really hope the previous posters set your mind at ease about that. I can't add to what they said. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I just wanted to chime in and say that it's completely to be expected that the OT would be able to get him to do something that he won't do at home. That's a primary reason that people keep going to OT for sensory issues, because with a younger child, after you read a few books and learn a couple of things (like the brushing protocol and joint compression) that the aren't in the books and go to a couple months of OT with your child, you pretty much know how to do it (but few of us have such cool swings in our houses).<br><br>
PikkuMy (sorry if I butchered the spelling!) mentioned some other things that parents do (like rushing it and asking too much at once) that are good to remember. Something I remember reading once was someone who said you have to be clear about what your goals are--is it to get out of the house or is it to have your child do ______. With sticking points, I have to be careful about wanting my child to put on the short-sleeved shirt quickly so we can get out of the house. It's sometimes hard for me to set aside time for planned fun activities plus short-sleeved shirt putting on.<br><br>
And I personally hate the word "behavioral"--it's been thrown at us for years and rarely does it come with specific suggestions on how to approach the behavior that wouldn't be extremely frustrating to the point of cruelty, IMO, if said professional were just plain wrong! Psychologists and their kindred will often suggest that things related to my son's constipation and encopresis are behavioral when his gastroenterologists have said "we used to believe some of these things were behavioral or children used it to get attention, but now we know that it's a common response to the medical condition in children". And the gastroenterologists are the one's whose opinions are actually based on research and following cases while the psychologizers have just been repeating the same theory to each other for so long that everyone accepts it as obvious.<br><br>
And honestly, I think that when professionals come up with reasons "why" your child does something, it's important to question whether they really have any expert knowledge there. Usually, I think my own intuition is better, although it can be helpful to have someone challenge mine. In other words, if someone told me that my child had issues with perfectionism because they saw me as perfect--I would think about it for a moment and then dismiss it. Does she have expert knowledge that this is the case (I think that parents who are critical of the child or critical of themselves in front of the child can do some damage, but even then I think it's largely about wiring)? Has she observed your child closely enough to actually see him comparing himself with you and feeling insecure because of it? I think not. With sensory issues, I think it can be good to watch a response to a sensory issue becoming a habit or compulsion so that the behavior persists after the sensory stuff has lessoned. Although it's largely useful for older children, you might want to check out the book _The Optimistic Child_ from the library sometime.<br><br>
Sherri
 

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Ditto what everyone else has said -you did not cause this. And yes, he will perform better for her than he will for you. Partly for all the reasons others have stated, and partly because he knows you'll love him even if he refuses. He's not so sure about the OT.<br><br>
I'd call her on the perfectionism thing - what the UAViolation did she mean by THAT? Ask her what knowledge or research she's using to make that claim. Have her explain it to you. Sounds suspiciously like "frigid mothers cause autism" to me. (Yes, I know he doesn't have autism, but it's the same darn logic.)<br><br>
Our son has sensory issues too. And he's a perfectionist at times. Actually with him, it's more of "I know I can't do this right, so I won't try". It drives me batty. And I can assure you, it's NOT because I'm a perfectionist, or because our house is 'too clean'. (We've been one step away from a health code violation some of the time!)<br><br>
And hey - focus on the positive. He put a short sleeve shirt on. He played with shaving cream. Our son wouldn't have touched the shaving cream with a 10 foot pole when he started!
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thank you to ALL of you!<br>
I don't know why I felt so bad yesterday, I just felt like maybe I was doing something wrong or someone else was "better" for my son than maybe I was.<br>
I know it may not make sense, but that's what was in my mind.<br>
All I want for my son is to be happy. After having a long chat with my hubby I felt so much better and then to have all you mamas making me feel even better!<br><br>
I need to make sure I ask more questions with the OT.<br>
She has not gone into much with me as my son has said maybe 20 words with her and she said last time she was still evaluating him. He is very cooperative with her, but she says she can see he is being passive aggressive. He has been there 4 times now, and I would say she has seen only about 10% of what he normally does. That's the hard thing, I just know its going to take along time for him to feel comfortable enough to be himself around her to show his true self and its only an hour long. Is this how it usually works anyways?
 

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See, there's another red flag for me. I don't want to discourage you from getting your son the therapy he needs but "passive aggressive" in a child? I don't think so!
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>PikkuMyy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8199024"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">See, there's another red flag for me. I don't want to discourage you from getting your son the therapy he needs but "passive aggressive" in a child? I don't think so!</div>
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yes, I thought it was odd that she said "passive aggressive". The words I usually use are that you can feel his energy and its fight or flight, or just like he may be ready to have a melt down. She did say after the passive aggressive about how he seems to be in fight or flight mode alot, and I agreed with her. She really is super nice and my son loves going to OT. But, I have never done this before so I do not not what would be bad signs?<br><br>
Are there things I should be asking the OT that I may not be asking?<br><br>
Thanks for your reply.<br><br>
Also, is it "normal" to be going as fast as his OT wants me to with my son.<br>
She already is wanting me to try having my son wear short sleeve shirts for 5-10-15 min times a few times a day a week. She said the first time if he has a huge melt down (which he will) I can let him "fail" the first time and tell him tomorrow we WILL be wearing the short sleeve shirt fo X amount of mins. And even if he has a 2 hour fit he still needs to wear the shirt for the X amount of mins. I mean it sounds all good to me, but I just feel like we JUST got started, but maybe this is the first step?
 

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Hmmm... I was coming back here to say that even if I disagree with some of the OT's suggestions/statements, I DO think it's important to have someone else working with your son on these issues who doesn't have the history and relationship that you do with him so he can learn to be comfortable without other associations.<br><br>
As for your question, personally, I would not suggest that after just one time with him wearing it with me, if I was the OT. I would let him get more comfortable with it with me before having him generalize that to with his parents. I would also figure out fun activities that would be done wearing the shirt for parents to do so that there's a specific point to it. Perhaps she's done this - I'm not sure. I come from the background of Applied Behavior Analysis and I believe in positive reinforcement and working to help kids succeed by figuring out their current levels and then pushing them a little at a time. I would NOT consider the activity a success if he wore the shirt but had a 2 hour meltdown. I want my students to feel challenged but still OK with the situation. I realize that he's going to behave with you differently but I think you can plan it so that you minimize his mental discomfort (since you already know he can physically deal with wearing the shirt for a short time.) I would also figure out which shirt would be least bothersome (thick cotton polo, regular cotton t-shirt, button down thin with cuffs, poly soccer shirt - there are a lot of options that all feel different!) and then move on to new shirts once he is comfortable with one type of shirt for a while.
 

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I might not quite drop this OT like a hot potato, but I personally would start looking quickly. I would not do something sensory that would cause a meltdown. I sometimes refuse to do things that my son demands I do, but those are around anxiety avoidance and/or creation of new rituals--like if he wants me to get a new spoon or two because he thinks each type of food needs it's own spoon AND there should be one spoon to get the yogurt out of the container, a second to stir it up in the bowl, and a third to actually eat it with, then he may have a meltdown because I say I will not follow the new spoon rules. But I can't imagine forcing him into an article of clothing--there are much better ways, such as getting to play with shaving cream and changing in a tent. The idea of OT is to make kids more comfortable--they may face some discomfort or do things they wouldn't ordinarily do, but the overall "session", there and at home, should feel fun, soothing, or some other pleasant thing.<br><br>
And "passive aggressive"? That's when you try to make everyone notice you're angry without actually taking responsibility for saying what you are unhappy about. It does not make sense to label a preschooler's behavior this way, given that they *usually* are unable to say what they are upset about!<br><br>
Sherri<br><br>
Sherri
 

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I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time with this OT.<br><br>
I have to agree with the things the other posters have said.<br><br>
In our time with OT we were never told to force something since then the child will see it as scary or bad and then you are tossed into a whole new kind of ball game. Not fun, Dh has to get a refresher course in that every now and then. Becaus if your child isn't completely avoiding *fill in the blank object or activity* then once it has been forced and there has been a melt down or two you get into the area where the fight or flight response goes into over drive. When that happends the child might actually go so far as to start expecting the object or activity and they they might go so far as hiding. That is what happend with my Dd when it came to brushing and my trying (when the whole thing started up) to explain to Dh that we couldn't push it (he hadn't read anything about sensory issues at that point) and he couldn't understand why we should stop doing something that was there to help her. He also hadn't seen her fight response either.<br><br>
I agree with the idea of trying differant kinds of short sleeved shirts and reading everything you can get your hands on. I'm kind of thinking that you might need to be keeping an eye out for a new OT. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
(((HUGS)))
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>PikkuMyy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8204209"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Hmmm... I was coming back here to say that even if I disagree with some of the OT's suggestions/statements, I DO think it's important to have someone else working with your son on these issues who doesn't have the history and relationship that you do with him so he can learn to be comfortable without other associations.<br><br>
As for your question, personally, I would not suggest that after just one time with him wearing it with me, if I was the OT. I would let him get more comfortable with it with me before having him generalize that to with his parents. I would also figure out fun activities that would be done wearing the shirt for parents to do so that there's a specific point to it. Perhaps she's done this - I'm not sure. I come from the background of Applied Behavior Analysis and I believe in positive reinforcement and working to help kids succeed by figuring out their current levels and then pushing them a little at a time. I would NOT consider the activity a success if he wore the shirt but had a 2 hour meltdown. I want my students to feel challenged but still OK with the situation. I realize that he's going to behave with you differently but I think you can plan it so that you minimize his mental discomfort (since you already know he can physically deal with wearing the shirt for a short time.) I would also figure out which shirt would be least bothersome (thick cotton polo, regular cotton t-shirt, button down thin with cuffs, poly soccer shirt - there are a lot of options that all feel different!) and then move on to new shirts once he is comfortable with one type of shirt for a while.</div>
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Thank you.<br>
I do have a buch of different shirts for him. He just refuses to wear them, if I talk about them he becomes very irratated. Today I brought it up and he said "no, stop talking about it I dont like short sleeves. I only have to wear them at the ball place!". Ball place = OT. I talked and said we could try it at home just like there with shaving cream and he said "no its too messy!". I told him it would be just like the ball place and it would be fun. He was mad at this point and I dropped it becasue it was becoming a battle which I dont want it to be.<br><br>
I just dont get it.. I dont understand why he is not willing to do this with me.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br>
I feel lost over this part... My hubby (who self dxed himself as being aspergers) says he would feel the same way as our son and would do it for someone he did not know. But, I still dont get it.
 

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I'm curious why it's so important that he wear short-sleeved shirts?<br><br>
I don't mean that I don't understand at all. DS would not make the transition to shorts last summer (he would wear swim trunks for the beach/swimming, but not shorts) and only wore sweat pants--and I don't mean that it wasn't at all important when the temp went above 90 (good think for those local lakes!). But we went through the summer that way (not that I didn't make efforts to change the pattern), and it was ok--AND he wears shorts this year (btw, I think one thing that helped was getting underwear that is more like shorts last fall--as long as the shorts are cotton knit, it seems reasonably familiar--I wonder if your son would wear a t-shirt under a long sleeved shirt?)<br><br>
I used to sometimes take it personally that my son would do things for the OT that he wouldn't do for me, but it seems clearer to me now that it is not about *me*. Sometimes he is motivated by novel situations, sometimes I could have approached it in a better way, but it's not a disaster that I didn't do it right the first (or first ten) times. Learning to parent my son is definitely a growing adventure!<br><br>
Sherri
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>JohannasGarden</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8216289"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm curious why it's so important that he wear short-sleeved shirts?<br><br>
I don't mean that I don't understand at all. DS would not make the transition to shorts last summer (he would wear swim trunks for the beach/swimming, but not shorts) and only wore sweat pants--and I don't mean that it wasn't at all important when the temp went above 90 (good think for those local lakes!). But we went through the summer that way (not that I didn't make efforts to change the pattern), and it was ok--AND he wears shorts this year (btw, I think one thing that helped was getting underwear that is more like shorts last fall--as long as the shorts are cotton knit, it seems reasonably familiar--I wonder if your son would wear a t-shirt under a long sleeved shirt?)<br><br>
I used to sometimes take it personally that my son would do things for the OT that he wouldn't do for me, but it seems clearer to me now that it is not about *me*. Sometimes he is motivated by novel situations, sometimes I could have approached it in a better way, but it's not a disaster that I didn't do it right the first (or first ten) times. Learning to parent my son is definitely a growing adventure!<br><br>
Sherri</div>
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Thanks for the reply and advice.<br>
Its not just the short sleeve shirt, I really dont care if he wears the long sleeve shirt, long pants etc. I just dont understand the concept as to why he is able to play with shaving cream, wear short sleeve shirts etc at OT but not at home. I just feel like he would feel "safer" here and would not mind doing it at home too if I set up the same situation. But I guess since he feels "safe" he can tell me his true feelings. I guess it is like you said,
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Sometimes he is motivated by novel situations, sometimes I could have approached it in a better way, but it's not a disaster that I didn't do it right the first (or first ten) times.</td>
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Thank you for that.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>doriansmummy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8216679"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Thanks for the reply and advice.<br>
Its not just the short sleeve shirt, I really dont care if he wears the long sleeve shirt, long pants etc.</div>
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I guess I was assuming that there was a serious reason he needed to wear this kind of shirt, when I was reading the earlier posts. If there isn't, then I don't think two hours of distress is a fair trade for something that you yourself don't think is a big deal. I know there's some idea that it will make other things easier and thus have a beneficial effect on him holistically speaking, but I never really liked that approach. Two hours of distress might be worth, say, taking a neccessary medication or learning a skill without which he couldn't really function, but this shirt thing seems king of arbitrary.<br><br>
I think you sound like a really nice mom. I think your OT sounds a little off. The thing about the "perfectionism" of your house causing some of these problems is ridiculous, and smacks of the over-psychologizing of the 70s. THe "passive-agressive" comment shows, I think, that she's personalizing her work with your son and projecting things onto an emotional level. Just... strange.<br><br>
What are <i>your</i> priorities for this therapy? If short-sleeved shirts don't really matter, what does? Because she should be focusing on the priorities you, your family, and your son have identified, and not just giving him "therapy," generically speaking.<br><br>
Sorry, it's early and I'm not very clear. I just think you sound like you're really trying to do the right thing and putting a lot more weight in this therapist's "expertise" than it perhaps deserves. Remember, you know more about your son than she does.
 

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Wow that you for your reply. It really spoke to me.<br>
The long sleeve shirt (well its only long sleeve pajama shirts) is not a priority but it does interfer with life at times, like if he gets it even a bit wet and I dont have a back up long sleeve shirt he has a melt down. So, in that way it does seem to "stop" life for that amount of time.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I know there's some idea that it will make other things easier and thus have a beneficial effect on him holistically speaking, but I never really liked that approach.</td>
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I think this is what I was thinking, if he wears the short sleeve shirt that is minus one melt down.. But I guess he still will need to change his short sleeve when its wet and he may start only wear short sleeve shirts or only one shirt so it may not be the "magic pill" I was thinking.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I just think you sound like you're really trying to do the right thing and putting a lot more weight in this therapist's "expertise" than it perhaps deserves. Remember, you know more about your son than she does.</td>
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Nail on the head. Thats how I have been feeling. I mean she tells me what to do with him and some of the stuff like making him tantrum for 2 hours over a shirt is really not my parenting style. All I ever want for him is to be happy and to enjoy life, and I feel like he cant with all these "things" that bother him. But, that has always been the way he has been and I love him just the way he is. Its very hard to start this new journey, I need to remember I am the mum and I still know my son better than anyone. Thank you for reminding me.
 
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