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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ack! He wants to buckle himself into the carseat, put on his own clothes, put on his own diaper, cutup his own food, etc. etc. I'm surprised he dosn't want to drive himself to the library.


On one hand, I'm glad he wants to be more independent and I want to encourage him to learn to do these things. I want to help him, it's obviously necessary for him to grow like this and I'm happy to see that he wants to. But it's so frustrating, for both of us. He lacks the skills to do half the things he wants to do, and while I know the only way to learn is to do it, everything takes 3 times as long and often ends up with DS screaming in frustration while I clench my teeth and count to ten.
He can't do it himself, and that makes him mad, but when I try to gently help him, he gets even madder. I end up trying to verbally coach him through what he's trying to do, which does work sometimes, but other times he's so tangled up in his shirt or whatever that there is no way he can get it done without help. Then we are in for it! :LOL

I tell him, "You want to learn to do these things, and I want you to learn to do them too. I'll help you learn to do it yourself," and he is receptive to that, as long as I stay a few feet away from him, lol.


Argh! Spirit, give me patience!
 

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I remember that feeling... but you know, as soon as he masters the skill, he'll want nothing else to do with it. As soon as he figures out how to get those pants on by himself, you'll be putting him on them every time until he's 6 :LOL You'll be wishing he was a little more independent...

Once Talia learned how to dress herself, she would no longer have anything to do with it - I have to dress her now. I even have to pull up her panties after she goes to the potty. She will no longer peel the lid off her yogurt. Or make figures with her playdoh. Or put beads on a string. Or or or... I have to do everything, once it's no longer a challenging game to her!
 

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Oh, so thats's where this new phase is leading? Just started to hear "I can do it myself" in the last 2 weeks. Of course, it's been followed by another new one, accompnied by a huge sigh:
"I can't take a nap, Mommy. It's too hard."
Oh, the drama of being 2.5!
 

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I don't mind the "i'll do itmyself" thing - I usually go get my camera and take pictures of her trying to do something. I have a great shot of the first time she got her shirt on herself.


It does get annoying when I am on a schedule though.

Did someone mention drama? Oh my. LOL. This morning DD woke and wanted to crawl into bed with us. No problem. A pillow touhced her head and she started crying "my head! my head!" and I am thinking she's having a headache oe turned her neck weird or something and I say "what happened? Are you OK?" over and over, and she stops suddenly and says "I'm OK." and goes back to sleep. LOL.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I mind it when I'm standing outside in 20 degree weather and it's snowing and DS is throwing a fit because he can't open the car door by himself, and won't let me help him, either.

I mind when I'm cooking dinner and DS dumps half a bottle of basil into the pasta sauce.

I also mind it when DS has both legs in one pant leg and is screaming in frustration, but won't let me touch him to help him.

These are not Kodak moments! Yes there are some cute scenes of him buttering his own toast and it's GREAT when he succeeds in putting on his own shirt. But believe me, the frustration builds up after a while.

He just turned 2 about a month ago. His ambitions are not matched by his ability. I'm trying to be patient. I know it's good for his self esteem to learn to do things himself, and I know he'll learn eventually. And then I'll just be dressing him every day again, like tboroson said. :LOL Seriously, though, when I'm freezing my a$$ off outside the front door and DS is trying to fit the key in the keyhole and unlock the door for 5 minutes, and screams if I try to help him, I just want to chuck it all and run away to Aruba.
 

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I know. My DS is 22 mos. and we just started hearing "I do!" a couple of weeks ago. He tries to do everything, putting on his pants, car seat buckle, etc. I usually manage to help while making him think he is doing it (so far) I say "let Mommy help" and while we're buckling him in I say "Push push push CLICK YAY" and that seems to distract him a bit.

It's really funny though to see them trying to do it all.
 

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Oh, yes, sounds soooooo familar. I have had three like that, ya know.

It is totally all your fault, FM, don't you know? all that AP.


:LOL :LOL :LOL

So it takes you twice as long, so you are late everywhere, etc.

My youngest is now 6, and still always trying to do things that are a challenge to him, "all by himself", of course.

I remember when he wanted to button his own clothes, I would get impatient and want to do it. But I would just leave the room and eons later he would emerge, and he was so proud.

What can ya do?
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Simply Nurtured
It is totally all your fault, FM, don't you know? all that AP.

I know! :LOL Next time I'm just cracking down and Babywising that kid from the start! It's gonna be my way or the highway, baby!!

: Yeah, right.
 

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I think its reasonable to help kids learn that they don't get to try and do everything themselves.

My 18m old is just starting this phase and it's so hard watching her kick and scream with her legs in one pant leg, unwilling to let me help her. Or trying to put her shoes on and getting her toes tangled up in the laces.

I make a point now of allowing almost 30 min. to leave the house (I mean after eating and getting dressed!) because I know there will be something she'll want to "practice" on our way out the door!

I also find it helps to help point out to dd "Wow, you feel so mad about that shirt right now! Maybe you could try putting on this hat instead", etc. Sometimes she gets so worked up she doesn't seem to realize that she may feel calmer if she just takes a break.
 
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