[MotherWhimsey]

I think I'm on the verge of losing it. I need a break. A break and eight straight hours of sleep. My dd is two, and night time is hell now. It takes forever to get her to go to sleep, so usually we just let her stay up till we go to bed. Sometimes though, she still doesn't want to go to sleep and stays up as late as 2 AM. Then she wakes up every hour or more. Some nights it's every ten to twenty minutes. Those nights I just kind of cat nap all night. And she doesn't just sleep next to me, she has to be plastered against me. She likes her head on my upper arm. So I get hot and sticky, my arm falls asleep, then cramps, it sucks. It that's not enough, her security object is my belly button. So if the one comfortable thing I've found is snuggling in my covers, that doesn't last long cause she peels them off so that she can repeatedly jab at my belly button. And she doesn't just wake up all night, she has to nurse all night. Both sides. repeatedly. Till they hurt.
I thought that maybe she'd do better in her own bed, but she won't sleep in it. If I can get her to sleep in the livingroom then she'll sleep for maybe an hour then cry till I come and get her.
I know that half my problem is that I just need a break in general. My husband has been working 15 hour days, so I have her 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I need at least 43 seconds away from her. But I really need to do something about the lack of sleeping. Last night I wished we lived in a high rise so that when I felt the need to jump out of bed and jump out the window, I'd do something more than stub my toe. Hey look! at least I've still got a sense of humor. kind of.
So if anyone has any tips, hugs, or maybe eight hours of sleep they can send me, I'd appreciate it.

 

[jrose_lee]

Don't do anything drastic with that pencil!

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. It really does sound like you could use some sort of a break. Do you have any other family around who could give you some "time off"? Your Dh is working LOOooooong hours! I know it really isn't funny, but I can't help but laugh about her loving your belly button so much

I know a little boy who can only fall asleep by hugging his mothers head with both hands wrapped around it and touching nose-to-nose with her. Kids pick the strangest things. I know someone else will post with some good advice, I just wanted to send you a hug

My ds is only three months so I know I don't have the kind of experience you're looking for. I'll be watching the thread though for future reference!

 

[whoamama]

I don't have any solutions for you, just a hug. I am very tired myself, my 3 yr. old still won't sleep through the night. If your child eats well and plays alot and has no health problems, you may just have to stick it out, unless you're harder than me and can do some sort of sleep training. All I'v eever done, I'm on #4 now, is nurse them when they want to and sleep in between. It may even be laziness on my part

: , who knows. sometimes I do get insanely tired, right now I'm a bit stupid due to tiredness, but eventually, everyone learns to sleep.

 

[mezzaluna]

no real advice, but lots of sympathy

has she gotten her 2 year molars yet? that could be where the waking every hour is coming from...

last night i was frustrated with DS for waking up every 1.5 hours... and at one wakeup after i'd pottied him and nursed him 2x until he was asleep and he still wouldn't sleep without being latched on... i decided to go on my own little nursing strike. he cried

and banged his head against my cheek about a dozen times, and then fell asleep... clutching my throat in one hand. i had to laugh that he was throttling me. once he was good and asleep i moved his hand, but now you're scaring me - what if throttling me becomes his new sleep association

 

[JoyfulBirther]

I haven't had a two year old before, so I cant offer you advice, but I can offer you support. My son is about 14months, we're on day three of night-weaning. He wakes every hour but this night weaning is encouraging. See my thread if you're interested.

I'm assuming you've read No Cry Sleep Solutions and Dr. Jay Gordons 10 day program? Did you experience any success with any of those techniques?

I dont have much else to offer, but I feel for you. It will pass. I hope that you can find a way to have an hour to yourself here and there. Its so important to replenish your energy so you can truely see all the joys and live the moment.

Wishing sleep and lots of little breaks for you!

 

[sophiekat]

hugs, mama, i'm right there with you with my 7 month old. only she has to have one hand on my chin and the other up my nose . . . .

 

[junebugmidwife]

My hairy armpits are DS's security object....just marvelous to have an almost 2 yr old who, when tired, rides around in my arms with his whole arm down the neck hole of my shirt

.

Just a thought, when DS had a bladder infection the symptoms were pretty vague, a lot of crabbiness and trouble sleeping, then I noticed him grabbing the front of his diaper and crying (when he peed, but I didn't know the association at first), and then when his urine smelled BAD, I figured it out (this whole process lasted 2-3 days).

I also have heard that kids who get sleep-deprived tend to get into a self-perpetuating cycle. I have no advice on how to break this cycle, but at least it's an idea, right?

:

The longer days are definitely pushing bedtime later and later, along with the blossoming nearly 2 yr old behaviors. So much for bedtime at 7:30! Good luck. Have your husband or a sitter or SOMEBODY give you a day off. You deserve it. Don't poke your eye out; you'll need it later!

 

[mamaverdi]

I have so felt how you feel. 24-7 is really hard. Do you have someone she could play with? A sitter, a mother's helper, your best friend? So you could get a teensy break?

Have you tried instituting a very strict bedtime? Maybe she wants more structure? This worked for a while with my older one. I'm not mean about it, just said, it's time for bed, after bath, teeth, book, then bed. I would lay down with him until he fell asleep then get back up. Or sleep more if I needed it. I started this when my dh was out of town for 3 weeks straight with us not knowing when he was coming home.

I think it depends on the personality of the child really for what's gonna work.

But hey, you aren't alone feeling like you need to use a blunt object to end your misery. Just maybe think of something less punitive for yourself.

Hugs.

mv

 

[mamachandi]

what is her diet like during the day? I would make sure she isn't eating anything with artificial ingredients sometimes that has a weird affect on children and can interrupt natural sleeping patterns.
obviously cut out caffeine (chocolate,soda etc).
Make sure she gets lots of sunshine during the day (even if you are just opening the shades during the day,it does not matter if its cloudy the daylite will help) and turn the lights down low at nite (buy low wattage bulbs) to encourage normal sleep patterns. If you have bright lites on at nite it is confusing for her body and it does not shut down properly.
she needs exercise during the day (take her on walks not in a stroller,go to the park,run around the yard,do a kids yoga tape etc).
Also there is a nite time tea for kids called sleepy time tea (it has a bear on the cover) I think by celestial seasons or you could try giving her a homeopathic called chammomilla, you can buy at the natural foods store. believe me I have been there tried all of the above! My littel one needs all of the above to have a nice long sleep at nite all though we olny use the tea and homeopathic on evenings when I know she'll need the extra help.. good luck mama!

 

[BelovedK]

((((Hugs)))) I remember those days, i practiced so many breathing excersizes to prevent myself from doing the 'pencil thing' I think you're getting some great advice. I hope you get some sleep soon...it does sound like molars though.

 

[Glover_Girls]

I don't have 8 hours of sleep to send as I don't get that myself (but that's my problem as I wake up a couple times a night to check on my dd).

It does get harder and harder to deal with as you get more tired and short-tempered. Your daughter may be picking up on your vibes which could be upsetting her as well. I second boongirl's advice to talk to your daughter. She is old enough to understand and I think you might be suprised to find out that she is empathetic to how you are feeling. I talked to my dd from the very beginning even if she didn't understand me. It's no suprise to me that I have a very sensitive and empathetic child. I would explain to her how you are feeling in a way that doesn't make her feel like it's her fault. For example, I tell my DD (who is a HUGE bedtime procrastinator) that when we get to bed late, it makes us lose sleep and I will be grumpy in the morning. I also tell her when I'm starting to get frustrated so she knows that there may be consequences coming!

My dd just came in and asked what I was doing. I explained your situation to her and asked how do you think that mommy is feeling? She said, "sad." I asked her what should that mommy tell her 2yo, and here's her advice, "It's bedtime and you can nurse when you wake up in the morning." I must have used those words at some time in the past

Easier said than done!

Have you tried a lovie? My daughter has a blankie for a lovie which she cuddles up with.

Hang in there! IMHO~I would start working on trying to get her to sleep through the night on your terms. I am all about attending to our children's needs, but at some point there comes a time when you need to let her know that you are the parent and bedtime means sleeping. It's never easy to change habits, but for your sanity, do what you must. You aren't doing your child any favors by compromising on your sleep. Try www.askdrsears.com

 

[oliversmum2000]

when my ds 1 was getting later and later to bed i introduced a bedtime routine, we did the whole dinner, playing puzzles, bath, stories, feed then laying him in bed.

i had an armchair in his room and a double mattress on the floor so the first time he woke i could go and get him to bed with him for a cuddle.

he was about 15 months old and it took about 5 days to get him to accept it.

what i did was doo all the things i mentionned then feed him in the armchair then he would jump down and run to the door and want to go downstairs, i had put a gate accross it - not to stop him getting out to me in the night but to stop him leaving me at bedtime, he was never ever shut in his room on his own ever.

the first few nights he tried to leave many times and wasnt very impressed by the fact that he and i werent going anywhere but after about 5 nights and had adjusted and snuggled up and fed till he was asleep.

he was never a great skleeper and didnt night ween till he was 2 years and 8 months but at least i got some quiet time in the evening this way.

good luck in whatever you decide to do

 

[annarosa]

my main advice would be to get to bed earlier for both of you - it is not just you who sounds over-tired but your dd too
make this into your normal routine and stick to it every day
a bedtime routine of bath, short story, bedtime and nursing her to sleep - I would really aim for 8pm the latest (I'm sure this sounds shocking) but you know the less sleep some children get the worse their sleeping pattern can be .............
hugs to you

 

[Fiddlemom]

BIG HUGS.....

I remember on numerous occasions being so sleep deprived I really was losing my mind. It was awful, I became a horrible mother, said and did things I never would have otherwise, "lost it" repeatedly etc. it was totally awful. I was practically ripping my hair out...breaking glasses....totally the worst time of my life. It is literally a form of torture, though of course your dd is not intending that.......

couple things:
If dh is not available for night duty these days, a two-hour nap can work wonders. Just the opportunity to sleep deeply for a few hours (maybe even dream!) can get you back to feeling semi-sane. Anyone around who could do a child-care trade? Mercy mission? Anyone around you feel comfortable enough with who loves kids and would take her out for a few hours?

if you feel some short breaks would help you, you may have friends who might be able to spot you for shorter periods while you get your head semi-back-together, take a shower, or whatever. if 43 seconds is your minimum, maybe 45 minutes could be good as well.

i wish you all the luck in the world....and you will not suffer permanent brain damage from this though it might feel that way right now. it is so, so hard and I can still remember that.

jenny

PS: I remember feeling jealous while reading Dr. Seuss's Sleep Book after ds#2 was born and I was going through sleep deprivation. There was also a Little Critter book where the family all drives to the country cabins on Lake Wakatookee and settle into bed, even the cat. I would get soooo jealous of those people in the books.

 

[Justhere]

I am going to just combine a lot of things here. If you want your daughter to still sleep with you in your bed, you will have to talk to her and explain as OP have said above. You may need to put in place a night nursing rule..say no nursing between 11-5pm or something and stick to it!! If her molars are coming in, OMG. My sons have been coming in for 3 months now, he finally just got the bottom two, now we are working on the top two it is terrible. He has been waking every night for at least 3 months now. I give motrin on the nights its really bad. After all, he is in pain. He tells me he is in pain. Poor baby. If you want to move her to her bed, and this may well be the case, she might need her own space. My son HATES sleeping with me, but I have tried to force it upon him, and he basically tosses and turns and punches and kicks and lays on my chest and he doesnt sleep and I surely dont sleep. You could move her to her own bed. It will take awhile, but in the long run, it will be worth it for some sleep. You will have to do the move gently and perhaps stay in the room beside her everynight for a while until she is used to it. Maybe her on her bed and you on a mattress on the floor would work. You could try reward charts for staying in bed,etc..if this is what you want to do. Hopefully something will work out for you both and you can get some sleep|