I was asked to cover up in Meijer yesterday

3875 Views 66 Replies 44 Participants Last post by Unoppressed MAMA Q, Apr 16, 2006

Persephone

Discussion Starter · Mar 30, 2006

We went grocery shopping yesterday, and halfway through, dd got fussy, so I went to the benches by the checkout counters (the only place in the store to sit that I know of. And Meijer is HUGE!) and sat down to nurse. After I had been there a while (and an old lady walking by smiled at me), one of the managers came over to tell me that there had been complaints that my breast was showing too much and to pull my shirt down more. She was polite about it, and I got the impression that she thought it was cool I was nursing but of course, had to ask me cause of the complaint. A few minutes before that, I had actually pulled my shirt down a bit more, but if I pulled it down yet more, then dd wouldn't be able to access the nipple. So, I told her very nicely that I couldn't without covering up my nipple and keeping my baby from eating. She left then. A few minutes after that, I'm guessing the main store manageer (a guy in a suit, not a polo shirt) came up with this giant pink flowered muumuu for me to "cover up with". Because we "have to consider the other customers" Bullshit. I was finished then, so I just told him I was done, and popped her off the boob and pulled my shirt down right in front of him.

Had I not actually been done, I don't know what I would have said. After I had time to think about it, I think I would have asked him if he thought that the giant pink muumuu would actually attract LESS attention to what I was doing, and that I wouldn't cover up, because it would imply that there's something wrong with nursing a baby. And that maybe if he had a less populated place to sit, then it would have been a nonissue in the first place. But I didn't say any of those things, I just delatched the girl and walked away.

I hate stuff like this, cause I'm NOT an activist, I don't like conflict, and all I wanted was to nurse dd so she wouldn't cry in the store and make our shopping trip miserable for us and the rest of the people. Heh, actually nursing WAS being "considerate of the other customers"

Take THAT stupid manager man! But anyway, I had that feeling like you do when you KNOW you're going to get into trouble for something. Except I WASN"T DOING ANYTHING WRONG! It's legal here, and even if it wasn't, I would still nurse um, what's it called? Civil disobedience. Gah, the whole situation just makes me so mad.

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1 - 20 of 67 Posts

gypsy4360

· #2 · Mar 30, 2006

I know that you say you are not an activist, I am not either. However in this situation I think you should find every nursing mom in a 50 mile radius and all go have a nurse in!! That would show them how stupid they are. Breastfeeding is the most natural of all things, and those who are embarassed by it simply have issues of thier own.
Is this the first baby you have nursed? When I started with my first I was like you, worried a little too much. After being insulted many times by many rude people, my attitude changed, as I'm sure yours will.
Keep up the good work and ingnore people like that.

Shaunam

· #3 · Mar 30, 2006

3

That stinks.

: I used to shop at meijer all the time when I lived in Ohio, and never had a negative experience with nip, even before the bf'ing law was passed. And DS nursed A LOT in meijer.

We used to go to the furniture section and sit in one of th big comfy arm chairs. We also got the wic bf'ing package, and the lady cashiers would always talk to me about bf'ing and how it was so great.

What state are you in and what is the law? You should let the store manager know that the employees were acting inappropriately and let him/her know what the law is, that you expect the employees to be educated on bf'ing rights, and you will take your money somewhere else if it happens again.

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KBinSATX

· #4 · Mar 30, 2006

When I went to my first La Leche League Meeting a couple of months ago they gave me a little business card that states that it is my legal right to breastfeed and a number to report anybody that would keep me from doing so. Not sure if that applies to 'private property' though like businesses?

dynamohumm6

· #5 · Mar 30, 2006

If it were me, and I weren't done nursing, I would've quietly told the store manager that I was being discreet as possible, and that if he still took issue with me than he could call the police and have me arrested, and after that, he could watch the local news for the veritable metric truckload of bad press his store would receive after I got through with them.

But I'm a jerk like that.

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MaryJaneLouise

· #6 · Mar 30, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by KBinSATX
When I went to my first La Leche League Meeting a couple of months ago they gave me a little business card that states that it is my legal right to breastfeed and a number to report anybody that would keep me from doing so. Not sure if that applies to 'private property' though like businesses?

Yes it does. Most of those laws state f you have a right to be there / sit there you have a right to nurse. So, for instance, you couldn't/shouldn't nurse in the men's room

or insist to get into a bank's vault or something like that.

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msumomma

· #7 · Mar 31, 2006

UGH!
I HATE meijer! What state are u in? You should do a nurse in there! Say no to the big pink moo-moos!

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Ellien C

· #8 · Mar 31, 2006

What do you think about the idea of writing your thoughts down and sending them to the store manager?

You could put things like this in the letter:
I think I would have asked him if he thought that the giant pink muumuu would actually attract LESS attention to what I was doing, and that I wouldn't cover up, because it would imply that there's something wrong with nursing a baby. And that maybe if he had a less populated place to sit, then it would have been a nonissue in the first place.

wendy1221

· #9 · Mar 31, 2006

What state are you in? I nurse on teh front bench at our Meijer ALL the time. No one has ever said anything to me. I feel sorry for anyone who does. LOL! I think the first words out of my mouth would probably be something like, I hope you have a good lawyer, would you like to wait here while I call mine? And pull out my cell phone. Yes, I think that would probably be my reaction. bf'ing is protected by law in IN, but I'm from PA and I think I would have a similar reaction there.

ozzyemm

· #10 · Mar 31, 2006

3

Seph! I have been just WAITING for someone to tell me to "put it away"!! But I like to draw attention to myself

.

When I first started bfing, I was so afraid of what ppl would say, that i think I actually made it harder for Michael to nurse, cuz he could sense my tension.

Anyway, I think the turning point for me was when we were in Burger King, and I was nursing him at a booth. An older couple was sitting facing us the whole time. I kinda felt bad, even though DS was "covered" (If you came up to talk to me, my boob was hanging out, but you couldn't see it from straight on). When they were done eating, he came past and said, "Everybody's gotta eat." i thought that was cute and very respectful. i like to remind myself when we are NIP-- "Everybody's gotta eat!"

I know there are other mamas in your town that would be HAPPY to stage a nurse-in! Write the store manager and inform him of your unhappiness, etc., and inform him that there will be a nurse-in with camera crew on such-and-such date if he doesn't educate his staff.

again!!

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bri276

· #11 · Mar 31, 2006

if you give me an address/email, I'd like to write to them to inform them they infringed upon legal rights and make them think twice next time.

rmzbm

· #12 · Mar 31, 2006

2

Quote:

Originally Posted by dynamohumm6
If it were me, and I weren't done nursing, I would've quietly told the store manager that I was being discreet as possible, and that if he still took issue with me than he could call the police and have me arrested, and after that, he could watch the local news for the veritable metric truckload of bad press his store would receive after I got through with them.

But I'm a jerk like that.

Oh, we think alike...

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jeanine123

· #13 · Mar 31, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by KBinSATX
When I went to my first La Leche League Meeting a couple of months ago they gave me a little business card that states that it is my legal right to breastfeed and a number to report anybody that would keep me from doing so. Not sure if that applies to 'private property' though like businesses?

I just looked up the Texas law on LLL's website. It states

Quote:

Chapter 165. Breast-Feeding
Subchapter A. Breast-Feeding Rights and Policies
Sec. 165.001. Legislative Finding
The legislature finds that breast-feeding a baby is an important and basic act of nurture that must be encouraged in the interests of maternal and child health and family values. In compliance with the breast-feeding promotion program established under the Federal Child Nutrition Act of 1966 (42 U.S.C. section 1771 et seq.), the Legislature recognizes breast-feeding as the best method of infant nutrition.
Sec. 165.002. Right to Breast-Feed
A mother is entitled to breast-feed her baby in any location in which the mother is authorized to be.

Which to me, and I think everyone else, means a place of business. You have the legal right to be there to shop, thus according to this law you have the legal right to nurse your child there.

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Persephone

Discussion Starter · #14 · Mar 31, 2006

Yes, I have a business card in my wallet, right behind my ID card that states I have a legal right to nurse there. No one asked me to stop nursing, they just wanted me to hide my breast more. Like I said, I don't think I could without preventing my daughter from eating, but that was the issue, not actually that I was breastfeeding there. Maybe I drew attention because I was nervous about it? I'm so pro NIP, and I am not a modest person, but for some reason NIPing makes me nervous. I guess because I'm afraid someone will try to stop me. Well, someone did try, but they didn't succeed. And they WON'T. People need to see breastfeeding more often! But, if I mentioned the law (my state is IN, btw.), then he would have said, "we don't mind you breastfeeding here, but we'd like you to cover up more." As far as I know, the law doesn't say anything about how much breast is allowed to show when you're nursing in public.

As far as action I'm taking, I'll be writing a letter to management, and also to headquarters. And I think my mama posse might stage a nurse in.

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momsincmay

· #15 · Mar 31, 2006

3

WTG!! I am thrilled that you without shame NIP

. Your actions should be applauded. My DD is my first child and for the first 6 mos of her life I was sorta nervous and ashame to nurse her in public places. But now without fear and without a thought I don't deny her human right to eat. Even with friends who preferred to bottle feed for "convience" looking down at me, I still do it without a care in the world.

: ...Let me know if you plan a nurse-in

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pdx.mothernurture

· #16 · Mar 31, 2006

If you do stage the nurse in, you'll probably get more out of it advocacy-wise if you contact local press. ;-)

Jen

kalisis

· #17 · Mar 31, 2006

hmmm...sounds like managers not really knowing state law. I woudl probably start out with a letter to the store and see what kind of response you get.

I hate to say it, but I think nurse-ins are justified only when it's been really overt and hostile. I hate to come off as those overreacting militant bfing moms, KWIM?

snowbunny

· #18 · Mar 31, 2006

I'm so sorry you encountered such harrassment.

I'd be happy to write a letter to Meijer Corporate if you can provide me with some more details such as the store, the date and time etc. Even if you do not want to stage something as dramatic as a nurse-in, you can still make some good come of this situation for other mothers who might need to NIP there.

boheime

· #19 · Mar 31, 2006

Good for you!

When dd was 10 1/2 months, our family was at JoAnn's getting some fabric cut. The woman cutting it was new and was taking a long time. She kepty apologizing and we told her no problem. The kids were getting restless and dh was trying to entertain them. Dd asked to nurse and an odler employee who had come to help made rude comments about dd being too big. She didn't address her comments to us but made them loud enough so we would hear. I was shocked and just told dh we needed to leave. I wrote a letter but never heard back. We go to JoAnn's pretty frequently for homeschool art stuff. Dd, to this day, MUST nurse EVERY time we go in that store. Someday she will grow up to be a strong woman!

What is the phone number you can call to report people? Woudl anyone share what they have written on their cards? I need to print one for my wallet.

mandy

KBinSATX

· #20 · Mar 31, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by boheime
What is the phone number you can call to report people? Woudl anyone share what they have written on their cards? I need to print one for my wallet.
mandy

Mine actually looks like it was issued by the Texas Department of Health. It is stock# 13-06-10830

Quote:

License to Breastfeed in Public: It's the Law!
A Mother is entitled to breastfeed her baby in any location in which the mother is authorized to be, under the provisions of Chapter 165, Texas Health and Safety Code

TDH - Texas Department of Health
Supporting breastfeeding families

On the back it's

Quote:

Thank you for nursing your baby in public. May future mothers never have to search for a secluded corner, dressing room or rest room to nourish their babies. Nursing in America is becoming the norm and the credit goes to women like you!

Have you had a positive or negative experience breastfeeding in a business? We'd like to hear about it so we can send the busines owner a letter. Call 1-512-458-7796, write Mother Friendly Worksite Program, Texas Department of Health, 1100 W. 49th St, Austin, TX or check out our website at: http://www.tdh.state.tx.us/lactate/mother.htm
Together we are building a community that supports breastfeeding

Sorry I guess it's a State thing. Not sure what it would look like in other states...

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