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<p>I spent the day crying yesterday after our well-toddler visit. My ped, who BFed her own kids to 18 months and was always supportive of me, raised her voice at me and said "I always told you he was MALNOURISHED!" She told me I need to stop nursing him during the day. She yelled that, "He is almost 2 years old and nurses like a 2 month old!" And the thing is, it's true. My kid eats, but he is super-picky. He doesn't eat any snack foods that other kids eat, like cereals, for example. He eats a lot of chicken soup with egg noodles, organic chicken sausage, avocado, sprouted grain bread, some beans, hummus, potato, and some coconut yogurt. The biggest issue is that he has a dairy allergy, so cow's milk products are out for us. I always thought I was doing a good thing by nursing him om demand because of the calcium, but now I am doubting everything...</p>
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<p>He is in the 30%-45% for height, so no concerns there. But he is only 20 lbs. and his head is at 4.7% at 18 inches.</p>
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<p>But he is brilliant! Ahead on all his milestones (started walking at 9 months and is now talking up a storm), super-active, happy...Could he really be MALNOURISHED?!? That word just freaks me out.  </p>
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<p>My biggest point of contention is that he was born small (just under 7lbs. with a (lol) small head at 13.5 inches). So, his head circumference, for one, seems to be growing fine on his own curve. Not to mention that my DH is 5'9", only 135 lbs, and was always really really really petite, even in childhood.</p>
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<p>Why did she yell at me?!? Do I really need to step it up by nursing less and thereby forcing him to eat more?!? </p>
<p>I am doubting everything, even more after the same ped told me she lets her kids have McDonald's once a week to "maintain their weight".</p>
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<p>Sorry this is so long. I am really distressed. Thanks ahead of time for any advice on whether to wean or not, and the like...</p>
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<p>Get a new Ped.</p>
 
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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>MamaJenese</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1282871/i-was-yelled-at-by-ped-my-20-month-old-weighs-20-lbs-and-was-told-i-need-to-wean-please-help#post_16085506"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>Get a new Ped.</p>
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<br><br><p>Ha ha ha. UGGH. I say "UGGH" because it took me a whole century it seems to find one in the city who was supportive of delyaed/selective vaxes as well as extended BFing (so I thought...) I may have to start at square one...</p>
 

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<p>I don't think the answer is get a new Ped, unless you want to get a new doctor.  This doctor's behavior was terrible, unprofessional and you should address that with her.  Be assertive in your desire with extended nursing, and offer you could track what your son eats/amounts and etc and come back to discuss diet, and nutrition (because your list of foods looks awesome nutrition-wise) but you should call her out on behaving badly and that if she is unsupportive in your goals then you will find another caregiver. </p>
 

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<p><br>
 </p>
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>_ktg_</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1282871/i-was-yelled-at-by-ped-my-20-month-old-weighs-20-lbs-and-was-told-i-need-to-wean-please-help#post_16085617"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>I don't think the answer is get a new Ped, unless you want to get a new doctor.  This doctor's behavior was terrible, unprofessional and you should address that with her.  Be assertive in your desire with extended nursing, and offer you could track what your son eats/amounts and etc and come back to discuss diet, and nutrition (because your list of foods looks awesome nutrition-wise) but you should call her out on behaving badly and that if she is unsupportive in your goals then you will find another caregiver. </p>
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<br><br><p>I agree with this. And if he's a picky eater, breastmilk is giving him calories and nutrition- I can't see anything wrong with that.</p>
 

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<p>Logic has failed when you feed your kids McDonald's to maintain their weight.</p>
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<p>There is something wrong with that equation.</p>
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<p>Your milk is the most calorie dense food your son eats. To take that away is failed logic.</p>
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<p>To replace high nutrition food with low nutrition food in order to create fat (not muscle, brain, nerves, immune system, just fat) is failed logic.</p>
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<p>Personally, I've pretty much given up on doctors. There are some great ones out there, but they seem rare enough that it's not really realistic to hold out of them. By all means find a new doc because that one treated you unprofessionally - don't forget, YOU are the customer - but from personal experience, you are going to have to draw your own conclusions about your child's health.</p>
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<p>Do these doctors think all children were malnourished BEFORE McDonald's came along? McDonald's is a necessary part of a healthy child's diet, to keep up with their weight requirements? Our ped suggested feeding our kid as much ice cream as she wanted. Because you all know that ice cream is better for my child, both short term and long term, than breastmilk. And before we had ice cream, kids were just starving to death on their diets of pastured meat, organic vegetables, stone milled grains, cheese, etc.</p>
 

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<p>if he's happy, healthy, meeting milestones, and still gaining some, then I don't think he's malnourished. the current growth charts lead to overweight kids, so I don't think we should be using them as the holy bible of healthy kids. </p>
 

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<p>If he is malnourished, stopping breastmilk sounds like a <bleeeeeepppp!> of an idea.</p>
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<p>From what you describe though, I would get him tested for food sensitivities/allergies. It seems that a lot of people discovered that their kids had problems because of a similar pattern of not eating solids and not growing.</p>
 

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Discussion Starter #9
<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>sapphire_chan</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1282871/i-was-yelled-at-by-ped-my-20-month-old-weighs-20-lbs-and-was-told-i-need-to-wean-please-help#post_16085917"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>If he is malnourished, stopping breastmilk sounds like a <bleeeeeepppp!> of an idea.</p>
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<p>From what you describe though, I would get him tested for food sensitivities/allergies. It seems that a lot of people discovered that their kids had problems because of a similar pattern of not eating solids and not growing.</p>
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Yeah, he is allergic to dairy and has been since day one. I was hoping he'd outgrow it, but no such luck yet...I really do think I could get him to gain if he was eating dairy products. The ped said that all of the kids she sees with milk allergies are skinny...</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>laohaire</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1282871/i-was-yelled-at-by-ped-my-20-month-old-weighs-20-lbs-and-was-told-i-need-to-wean-please-help#post_16085675"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>Logic has failed when you feed your kids McDonald's to maintain their weight.</p>
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<p>There is something wrong with that equation.</p>
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<p>Your milk is the most calorie dense food your son eats. To take that away is failed logic.</p>
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<p>To replace high nutrition food with low nutrition food in order to create fat (not muscle, brain, nerves, immune system, just fat) is failed logic.</p>
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<p>Personally, I've pretty much given up on doctors. There are some great ones out there, but they seem rare enough that it's not really realistic to hold out of them. By all means find a new doc because that one treated you unprofessionally - don't forget, YOU are the customer - but from personal experience, you are going to have to draw your own conclusions about your child's health.</p>
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<p>Do these doctors think all children were malnourished BEFORE McDonald's came along? McDonald's is a necessary part of a healthy child's diet, to keep up with their weight requirements? Our ped suggested feeding our kid as much ice cream as she wanted. Because you all know that ice cream is better for my child, both short term and long term, than breastmilk. And before we had ice cream, kids were just starving to death on their diets of pastured meat, organic vegetables, stone milled grains, cheese, etc.</p>
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<br><br><p>This boggled my mind too. I was made to feel like I was doing something wrong, and yet people's sole goal is to pack on weight in any way they can. Bigger is better in America in all sorts of ways...</p>
 

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<p>Aww Mama!!! I am sorry that you spent the day crying!!! You are a Mommy so that makes you superhuman by nature and I think you are doing the right thing :) Doctors are just "practicing" and she is giving you information based on averages and the profession medical opinions of others.  If you are comfy with your pediatrician don't switch, but you must trust you instinct and intuition on things like this YOU know whats best for your child.  Trust what the doctor says when it feels right, but above all trust yourself!!!</p>
 
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<p>I would get the newer WHO breastfeeding charts and try to chart his progress on those.  He may not be so skinny afterall.  The chart your pedi has is most likely just for formula fed babies and it is not comparing the same thing.</p>
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<p>As far as yelling at you, I would tell her next time I saw her that her interaction with you undermined the trust you have in her.  And I would look around for another doc anyway, just in case she really starts to get weird.</p>
 
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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Climbergirl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1282871/i-was-yelled-at-by-ped-my-20-month-old-weighs-20-lbs-and-was-told-i-need-to-wean-please-help#post_16086096"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>I would get the newer WHO breastfeeding charts and try to chart his progress on those. </p>
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<br><br><p><a href="http://www.who.int/childgrowth/standards/cht_wfa_boys_p_0_2.pdf" target="_blank">http://www.who.int/childgrowth/standards/cht_wfa_boys_p_0_2.pdf</a></p>
 

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<p>I have a 25 pound THREE year old! I went through hell with my tiny daughter. I kept breastfeeding through it all and when she did wean and eat a ton of solids (and I admit the occasional fast food meal) it didn't make a darn difference. The nutritionist told me to put margarine and SUGAR in all of her food. I refused. It sounds like your LO may just be petite. I'm only 5'4" and my DH is 5'3" and built very small boned. It seems to me that your LO is just fine. It doesn't sound like he's showing any signs of being malnourished. I know it's scary when doctor's throw this stuff in your face but it sounds like your LO has a great diet of mama's milk and healthy foods. <span><img alt="thumb.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/thumb.gif"></span></p>
 

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<p>Yelling is not professional and a big no-no! I would shop for a different doctor and perhaps even ask the college what her reputation is. I also would not go back every month. Kids do not gain a whole lot of weight at that age, so what is a month going to do? Saying that someone is malnourished is a huge statement, in my opinion, and I would ask your pediatrician what exactly she means by this. What are the parameters she uses? Does she use WHO guidelines? Personally, I only go to the doctor when my DS is really ill.</p>
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<p>The PPs have done a great job at analyzing you ped's failed logic. So, I would continue breastfeeding as much as your son wants to nurse! With regards to nutrition, I would try to introduce some fatty fish (mackerel, herring) once a week or so. Maybe spice things up a bit. Also, whole grains are a hit here. A wee bit of blackstrap molasses or balsamic vinegar (?!) makes grains taste yummy for DS. Maybe you can introduce nut butters and nuts? Promoting McDonalds as a nutritionally sound way of gaining weight sounds like an absurd idea.</p>
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<p>From what I can read from you post, I think that you are doing fine the way you handle your son's nutritional needs.</p>
 

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<div class="quote-container" data-huddler-embed="/community/forum/thread/1282871/i-was-yelled-at-by-ped-my-20-month-old-weighs-20-lbs-and-was-told-i-need-to-wean-please-help#post_16085947" data-huddler-embed-placeholder="false"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Toposlonoshlep</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1282871/i-was-yelled-at-by-ped-my-20-month-old-weighs-20-lbs-and-was-told-i-need-to-wean-please-help#post_16085947"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif"></a><br><br><br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>sapphire_chan</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1282871/i-was-yelled-at-by-ped-my-20-month-old-weighs-20-lbs-and-was-told-i-need-to-wean-please-help#post_16085917"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>If he is malnourished, stopping breastmilk sounds like a <bleeeeeepppp!> of an idea.</p>
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<p>From what you describe though, I would get him tested for food sensitivities/allergies. It seems that a lot of people discovered that their kids had problems because of a similar pattern of not eating solids and not growing.</p>
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<p><br>
Yeah, he is allergic to dairy and has been since day one. I was hoping he'd outgrow it, but no such luck yet...I really do think I could get him to gain if he was eating dairy products. The ped said that all of the kids she sees with milk allergies are skinny...</p>
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If there's no weight gain at all, I would guess that you're dealing with more allergies than just dairy. Have you tried cutting out other foods- like soy or gluten? If there's any damage to the intestinal lining because of continued ingestion of allergens, there could definitely be malabsorption. But that said- according to the WHO chart, you're still at about the 10% percentile, so you're not even close to falling off the charts.<br><br>
Why do you think he would gain if he ate dairy? If you're breastfeeding, he's getting milk that has better nutrition than cow's milk. <img alt="headscratch.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/headscratch.gif"> And if he's allergic, that definitely would NOT help the weight gain, it would probably hurt it. Are you feeding other high fat foods- avocados, coconut milk, etc.?
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>changingseasons</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1282871/i-was-yelled-at-by-ped-my-20-month-old-weighs-20-lbs-and-was-told-i-need-to-wean-please-help#post_16086733"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p><br>
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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Toposlonoshlep</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1282871/i-was-yelled-at-by-ped-my-20-month-old-weighs-20-lbs-and-was-told-i-need-to-wean-please-help#post_16085947"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><br><br><p> </p>
<p><br>
Yeah, he is allergic to dairy and has been since day one. I was hoping he'd outgrow it, but no such luck yet...I really do think I could get him to gain if he was eating dairy products. The ped said that all of the kids she sees with milk allergies are skinny...</p>
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If there's no weight gain at all, I would guess that you're dealing with more allergies than just dairy. Have you tried cutting out other foods- like soy or gluten? If there's any damage to the intestinal lining because of continued ingestion of allergens, there could definitely be malabsorption. But that said- according to the WHO chart, you're still at about the 10% percentile, so you're not even close to falling off the charts. Why do you think he would gain if he ate dairy? If you're breastfeeding, he's getting milk that has better nutrition than cow's milk. <img alt="headscratch.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com//images/smilies/headscratch.gif"> And if he's allergic, that definitely would NOT help the weight gain, it would probably hurt it. Are you feeding other high fat foods- avocados, coconut milk, etc.?</div>
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Hmmm. Something to think about in regards to allergies. I have introduced pretty much all the usual suspects to him and he hasn't had any visible reaction to anything BUT dairy, but maybe I should consider getting him tested. I was just trying to say that IF he ate dairy, he would probably be bulkier, as kids who eat dairy tend to gain weight quicker. I don't mean that I would prefer for him to have cow's over mama's! As for high fats, YES! He eats egg yolk, avocado, chicken soup, salmon, peanut butter, olive and coconut oils....etc. He just doesn't eat large quantities of anything...I will have to re-plot him on the WHO chart. When I do it, he falls off the chart. I would love to see him at 10%. Let me try it now. Ok, did it. If 20lbs. is 9 kgs., then he is below 3%, so off the chart.... But it doesn't seem like he would have to gain a TON to get back onto the chart, though.</p>
 

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<p>yep, looks to me like he's less than a 5th of a kg below the lowest line for the WHO growth charts, so one little growth put would put him above it. </p>
 

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<p>I'm rather mortified reading that your ped yelled at you. I've done pediatrics for 10 yrs and I don't think I've ever once yelled at a patient for any reason. I'm sure I've felt like it, but I wouldn't do that. It's completely unprofessional. If you are otherwise happy with this ped, I'd confront her about the unprofessional behavior and I'd consider writing or calling the practice administrator and letting them know about the unprofessional behavior as well. Otherwise, get a new ped. As far as the weight gain issue is concerned, your child doesn't need dairy to gain. I've seen plenty of chubby babies that never have dairy. If you are itching to give something, try coconut milk. They even make a coconut milk yogurt. Whatever you decide to do, just make every bite count. Offer calorie and fat dense foods, nurse as much as he wants and give it some time. </p>
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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Climbergirl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1282871/i-was-yelled-at-by-ped-my-20-month-old-weighs-20-lbs-and-was-told-i-need-to-wean-please-help#post_16086096"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>I would get the newer WHO breastfeeding charts and try to chart his progress on those.  He may not be so skinny afterall.  The chart your pedi has is most likely just for formula fed babies and it is not comparing the same thing.</p>
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This.</p>
<p>Big hugs, mama. My breastfed DD is 19mos old and, at last check (a few weeks ago) weighed in at a hefty 17lbs6oz. <span><img alt="wink1.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/wink1.gif"> Unlike your DS, she wasn't small at birth. I happen to have a FAB pedi who said he'll only worry a) when she shows him it is worth worrying about (ie, she doesn't maintain some sort of growth curve or she shows other symptomatology besides size) or b) when I am worried. Like your DS, my DD is sharp and she is ontop of her milestones. She did have a period where she was experiencing frequent fevers and we did a blood workup (CBC, iron, vit D) just to rule out major things- she doesn't have any of those things, so I'm not worried.</span></p>
<p><span>My pedi uses multiple growth charts. On the WHO breastfeeding chart she looks WAY bigger than on the CDC chart</span><span>.</span></p>
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<p><span>It does sound like your DS's size warrants watching bc of the allergy and bc you feel like he could eat more</span>, but your ped was way out of line to encourage unhealthy force feeding and/or weaning. It sounds like she was putting her own parenting issues on you, TBH. If it were me, I would certainly bring up the WHO's 2yr breastfeeding recommendation plus the childhood obesity/diabetes problems. (plus, wth does she think weaning a kid w/ a lactose problem to have to fend for himself will *help* him if he can tolerate breastmilk??) and, honestly, if it were me, I *would* be at least looking for a new ped w/ a diff attitude on growth, bc that's likely an issue you'll butt heads w/ her about for your DS's whole childhood. (and, truly, if any HCP raised their voice at me, I'd be out of there with a letter explaining why to their superiors. You didn't deserve that, regardless of what's going on w/ your DS)</p>
 
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