Can't really believe this has come to pass, but my greatest fear about having a second baby has come true . . . I have fallen out of love with my ds1, who up until 11.5 wks ago was the love of my life. And now I feel like I can't even *see* him anymore . . . like I know he's in there, but all I see when I look at him is this annoying little nudge of a person whose main goal in life is to harrass my baby and drive me batty. He knows I feel this way, too. It is heartbreaking to see him notice my heavy sighs, and he calls me on even the slightest edge in my voice. Then of course there are the "you don't love me's" which come all day long. At first I cried when he said this; now I am scared to death that I DON'T love him anymore and that it won't come back!
The main thing keeping me from panicking outright is that I feared I would fall out of love with dh (my h.s sweetheart and soulmate) once our first baby arrived, and sure enough, I did! I lost ALL interest in him for several months (I've talked about this with many of you here) but gradually warmed back up over the course of that first year until we were closer than ever. The good news is that our marriage did not take that hit with Baby #2, BUT (and what a horrible BUT) my relationship with my precious son did! And he's only THREE YEARS OLD!!! Can his self-esteem weather my ambivalence?!? WHEN will I fall back in love with HIM?!?!
Help me out here, Mamas, cause as much I have devoted my life to my firstborn, I cannot belive that I find myself here now. Any words of wisdom you can share?
The main thing keeping me from panicking outright is that I feared I would fall out of love with dh (my h.s sweetheart and soulmate) once our first baby arrived, and sure enough, I did! I lost ALL interest in him for several months (I've talked about this with many of you here) but gradually warmed back up over the course of that first year until we were closer than ever. The good news is that our marriage did not take that hit with Baby #2, BUT (and what a horrible BUT) my relationship with my precious son did! And he's only THREE YEARS OLD!!! Can his self-esteem weather my ambivalence?!? WHEN will I fall back in love with HIM?!?!
Help me out here, Mamas, cause as much I have devoted my life to my firstborn, I cannot belive that I find myself here now. Any words of wisdom you can share?