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My ds son does not sleep well, he never has. In the past 8 1/2 months I probably haven't slept for more than three hours twenty time. I try not to complain, but sometimes I can't help it. Anytime I do someone always talks about the Ferber method. All I knew about it was that it involved crying to sleep, which I don't need to read a book to know that ain't right.<br><br>
But in the past few day, like eight people have told dh and me about how great it worked and yah the first few night were hard, but in the end he slept great. Well after hearing all these accolades and being sooo tired <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/sleeping.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="sleeping"> I thought I should at least see what Dr. Richard Ferber has to say.<br><br>
OMG, I am still amazed <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yikes">: with what I found. How people I know and love could let their babies cry for hours, with just two minutes of sweet talking and back rubbing every 15 to 30 minutes shocks me to the core. Why would some want to teach their child that you won't respond to their cry, and that love and cuddling gets turned off when the sun goes down. The few times ds has cried longer than 90 seconds (in the car when I can't get to him) his face is bright read, heart racing, breaks into a sweat and has trouble catching his breath. I can't imagine listening and watching him ball hysterically so I could sleep better.<br><br>
Anyhoo, I just thought that being tired or exhausted could be worn as badge of honer, yah know "I love my baby and trust my instincts" award. And next time you yawn, feel the same delight and dignity you feel when you unbutton and nurse, or strap your dc to your back or chest.<br><br>
I now tell people, when they recommend to Ferber my baby, that I love responding to my baby and letting him know I'm always there for him.<br>
I would love to hear what other parents say when told to let them CIO or Ferberize their baby?
 

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I get the CIO crap all the time from "well-meaning" family and friends...I too am quite tired! :yawning: I just try not to talk about dd sleep habits with them and if they ask if she's sleeping through the night I say "Yes" since Dr. Sears says sleeping through thr night is a 4-5 hour strech which she does. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> I also just respond like you did and tell them I love to meet my baby's needs and cherish every moment we have together - even those at 3am! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wild.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wild"> ...Try not to let it get to you too much...And know there are other tired Mommies out there who drink too much <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/caffix.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="coffee"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/jumpers.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="jumpers">:
 

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I just firmly say that is not an option for our family, I've never had anyone say anything further on the subject.
 

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Yeah, I know. It shocks me that people who I otherwise like buy into the whole CIO thing, and adamantly tell me that it's the only way to go. My DD didn't sleep all the way through the night until she was 14 months old, but I'm happy that it was a natural progression for her, and that I was there for her every time she cried or needed me.<br><br>
I know I'm lucky, but the people I know who use CIO seem to have a lot more problems later on with tantrums, attitude, etc. (and they tend to respond in much the same way as CIO, too). We don't really have those issues (knock wood!). I know I'm being judgmental, but really, how people can override their nurturing instincts is hard for me to understand.
 

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Broccolilover, I know exactly what you mean. The first time someone mentioned Ferber to me, I didn't know who he was, and had never heard of "ferberizing". I had heard of CIO, but didn't realise what "ferberizing" was at all. So I found the book at the library and started to read it. Realised pretty much IMMEDIATELY that there was no way that would be happening in our house, and started looking for alternatives. I hadn't realised I was AP, to be honest, until after DS was born. I didn't even know there was such a thing as AP. I finally figured out that the only book that actually agreed with my instincts was the Sears baby book, and that's when I came to understand what AP was, and that if I followed my own instincts I was pretty much buying into the whole attachment parenting philosophy, which I hadn't even know WAS a philosophy!<br><br>
Needless to say, Ferber went back to the library (I work at the library) and I made sure that the person who buys parenting books purchased the kindler gentler books as well, at least for my branch!<br><br>
Alison
 

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I tried CIO with my first (because EVERYONE told me to...I was young...thankfully I've learned with experience!) and I don't know about the "I'd rather be tired" thing, because I got LESS sleep hearing her CIO than just sticking her in bed with me and we both conked out! I'm much more well rested with a co-sleeping babe than I ever was during that time period.
 
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