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...but that phrase has lost all meaning over here.<br><br>
One of my twin boys has ADHD, sensory processing disorder, anxiety, etc. We were homeschooling him, but the dev. ped. suggested school might help him, so he goes to preschool three days a week and seems to like it very much, and I like the break from him. Because our time together goes something like this:<br><br>
I picked him up from preschool and on our way to pick up his brother, I mentioned that we could go somewhere, like the store or garden center to pick up some seedlings, etc...D wanted to go to Starbucks for madeleine cookies. I say we'll discuss it with his brother.<br><br>
After we pick his brother up, D starts saying he wants madeleine cookies every thirty seconds for the entire ten minute ride. I'm not exaggerating.<br><br>
"Mama?"<br>
"Yes, D?"<br>
"I want madeleine cookies."<br>
"Yes, D, I know. We're on our way to get them."<br><br>
(pause)<br><br>
"Mama?"<br><br>
until I'm out of my mind.<br><br>
We get the cookies, he eats them in less than five minutes and starts clamoring for more. I don't feel like that's reasonable and I tell him he's had his snack, and he's done. Cue the wailing and the incessant demands for more cookies. So we have to leave.<br><br>
Later, at home, his brother C asks to play with my cell phone. I say OK, and the minute D knows that his brother has the phone, he's all over him for it. I feel bad for C, because D does this to him ALL. THE. TIME--pesters him and pesters him until C just gives up and gives in to whatever D wants.<br><br>
After about 20 minutes, I see that D has opened an application where he could mess something up, so I take it away from him. Huge tantrum, screaming, throwing things, hitting me.<br><br>
Right now he's slithering all over the furniture, standing on the back of armchairs. Out of control. I don't know what to do for him except medicate him, and I'm not sure that should be what we try first.<br><br>
Oh, and before anyone suggests dietary interventions, we've got major issues there. He only eats cereal, pretzels, fries, apple slices, maybe sometimes pizza if he's in the mood.
 

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Didn't want to read and not respond. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">. I SO understand. My DD does the incessant asking thing followed by the meltdown, too. It makes me batty, especially in the car....She has absolutely no ability to self-regulate in the car, especially if she's antcipating something fun. Audio books and work books (I give her those little Dover books that have 'invisible' pictures you scratch at with a pencil--doesn't require my help)--those 2 things are a lifesaver for any car ride longer than 20 minutes. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> Hang in there, mama. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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My kiddo is very similar--he's spectrum but he also has severe attention deficit and his emotional regulation is extremely poor. He's a twin too and I very much "get" what you say about it seeming unfair that the twin is constantly compensating for a prone to meltdowns sibling. I will say that what you describe are things I attribute the emotional regulation issues to in my son--though I may be "off" on that thought. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I wish I could come up with a good suggestion for you. It's been one of "those days" here though and I feel like I'm far from the person to be suggesting anything to anyone else.<br><br>
I will say that Nurtured Heart parenting (Glasser--his newer book All Children Flourishing specifically) and Elizabeth Pantley (Kid Cooperation) have been the best approach for Andrew by far.<br><br>
Mostly <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I hear you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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If you're not totally opposed to it, how about sending D to his room until he cools off? I have situations like this quite often with my oldest son and I can't tolerate it, and absolutely refuse to allow his tantrums and freak-outs to dominate our lives. The worst lately was a stupid toy that their sister had gotten. Now here, it's kind of reverse. DS1's younger brother knows that he can easily anger his older brother and takes many opportunities to annoy him. After several minutes of fighting over the baby toy, I take it away from both of them. DS2 cries and screams for a minute or two, then goes to do something else. DS1 on the other hand, keeps bugging me about it for over an hour-whining, sulking, pouting, screaming and hitting if I tell him he can't have the toy, all of it. I have my limits, and I'm not going to be subjected to that kind of abuse, so I sent DS to his room and told him not to come out until he was going to be nice. Yes, he might have some issues but those are not going to be a get-out-of-jail-free card for acting out and throwing fits, at least not in my house.
 
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