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Discussion Starter #1
and there is no real way to get rid of them how do you deal with the occaisional need to retort or even seek revenge? I know I shouldn't stoop to their level and maybe some of this is hormone induced but I can't be the only person here that likes a little revenge from time to time...<br><br><br>
I'm not looking for ways to NOT feel this way ....
 

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The best revenge is living well... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">: just feeling really good about yourself<br><br>
However, I have been known to see a CERTAIN woman come into Trader Joe's while I was there, and I overheard her asking where the chocolate covered raspberry sticks were... I was right near them... she was obviously jonesin' (she was pregnant) so I bought them... ALL OF THEM... and then checked out...<br><br>
Thats MY worst revenge...<br><br>
But don't do it... it doesn't feel good, and being the bigger person is always the right choice...<br><br>
After my XDH and I split I was so furious at him and his new GF (the woman in above story) so I used my energy to volunteer for MCAP (Monterey County Aids Project)
 

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Discussion Starter #4
I've been the bigger person for almost an entire year I've sat back and let it all roll off of me. Even her calling cps and subjecting me and my husband and our child to an investigation (which obvisously came to nothing except an apology to us from cps) but now she's crossed the line. I can't take any more personal attacks....I'd love to just walk away but she always seems to be right there.
 

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I have a family member that I sometimes wish bad things on. She did some horrible things to me, and other people in our family. She really does deserve bad things to happen to her. Of course, I can't seek revenge on her because that's just not my way. I just sit, and wait, and hope karma will bite her in the ass someday.<br><br>
Luckily, she has alienated enough of our family members that she rarely shows her face at family get-togethers these days. I haven't seen her in nearly a year. When I do have to see her, I'm polite and I say hello, and then I try to stay under the radar and not say anything that she can misconstrue and turn against me in the future.<br><br>
I wish I had good advice for you. Unfortunately all I can suggest is to just lay low, and if you have to see her, don't speak to her or let her overhear your conversations if possible (that's where problems always arise for me with my problem family member - like the time I mentioned the wedding date we had just set....and a couple weeks later she sent out her "save-the-dates" FOR OUR DATE!!)
 

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That does make it hard. I don't see there being a whole lot you can do in mediation. I don't know what to tell you. Maybe if you had your dh meet her some place when they traded off his dc's so she does not come to your house.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
DH does not speak to her, she has alienated the children we have no contact with them but she still feels the need to send messages via email and third parties to "stir the waters" from time to time. We've left her alone which is what she made it seem was what she wanted but she still taunts us. She'd only be alone with DH over my dead body.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
I have to admit that I lowered myself to a childish retort to her last message. She implied that my husband uses the same pet name for me that he had for her (we don't call each other by any pet names so I'm not sure where she got the idea anyhow) to which I replied that the only person he calls that is his mothers dog but that I'm sure he thinks of her when using it.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MeganW</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7949443"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I have to admit that I lowered myself to a childish retort to her last message. She implied that my husband uses the same pet name for me that he had for her (we don't call each other by any pet names so I'm not sure where she got the idea anyhow) to which I replied that the only person he calls that is his mothers dog but that I'm sure he thinks of her when using it.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> ... you don't ALWAYS have to be the bigger person...<br><br>
I know this might sound extreme, but have you thought about a restraining order pertaining to her??? Or perhaps just the threat of one to get her shocked????
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Actually I dont' think it sounds extreme at all and I have seriously considered it and I think it's a great idea. DH is afraid it will set her off even more. The social worker specifically asked me if I felt threatened by her and if I was scared of her. (even though he swore he didn't know who called and couldn't release their name) I'll see if she responds to what I said if it's nasty I will take it as a threat and use it in pursuing a restraining order.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MeganW</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7949591"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Actually I dont' think it sounds extreme at all and I have seriously considered it and I think it's a great idea. DH is afraid it will set her off even more. The social worker specifically asked me if I felt threatened by her and if I was scared of her. (even though he swore he didn't know who called and couldn't release their name) I'll see if she responds to what I said if it's nasty I will take it as a threat and use it in pursuing a restraining order.</div>
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Who cares if it "sets her off more" she seems rather unbalanced to me... and you HAVE to think of yourselves...<br><br>
Its not just men who lose it over their ex's...<br><br>
I'm just sayin'... if you feel her response is nasty, get a RO... seriously
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MeganW</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7949443"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I have to admit that I lowered myself to a childish retort to her last message. She implied that my husband uses the same pet name for me that he had for her (we don't call each other by any pet names so I'm not sure where she got the idea anyhow) to which I replied that the only person he calls that is his mothers dog but that I'm sure he thinks of her when using it.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/spitdrink.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="spitdrink"><br><br>
Also, I agree re: the restraining order.
 

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Yes to the restraining order. Worst thing happens, she violates it and gets arrested. That's pretty good revenge for her harassment.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/spitdrink.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="spitdrink"> I think you're witty and fabulous! Much deserved remark if you ask me
 

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I think the best revenge you can get it to just repeatedly tell the person you are praying for them. It will get to her and you come out at least appearing to be the better person. If you did actually pray for (or send good vibes to) her then you really would be the better person. It would get old tormenting someone who constantly says that she is wishing you well/praying for you.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MeganW</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7948995"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I've been the bigger person for almost an entire year I've sat back and let it all roll off of me. Even her calling cps and subjecting me and my husband and our child to an investigation (which obvisously came to nothing except an apology to us from cps) but now she's crossed the line. I can't take any more personal attacks....I'd love to just walk away but she always seems to be right there.</div>
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In this case, I'd charge the person with harassment and try to get them put in jail.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
Thanks ladies, I feel better now. I'm going back to ignoring her for awhile. I blocked her from contacting us anymore via myspace (where she made her last contact) So we'll see how long it lasts.
 

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Sapphire I wanted to say that my attorney said it wasn't worth the effort (he's also a family friend) to get a court order in order to release her name from the report and than make acusations against her. We'd have to petition the judge to even prove it was her that made the call. (we're 99.9% certain it was her because of the specific allegations) She's a pro at working the system. (the free anonymous part that is)
 
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