[winnie]

How do you feel you are treated by family and friends this time, in comparison to the first pregnancy?

This is our second. DP and I are both actually quite surprised that there is practically NO interest in our pregnancy this time around!! My mom and one very good friend are really the only ones that ask how I'm feeling regularly, and talk excitedly about the baby. Otherwise - DP's family seems to have pretty much forgotten, and the rest of our family and friends just never bring it up. I am definitely showing now, but the only person that has even mentioned my bump is my mom (and DP, of course)!

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but it makes it harder for us to keep the excitement up. I was reading in a pregnancy book the other night that said during this stage I should get used to being treated like a Queen, and I laughed right out loud!!

Just wondered if anyone else is noticing this difference.

Erin

 

[ChaoticMum]

Ahhh....yes.....I hear you.

This is our fourth baby, 5th pregnancy. each one has been different. With each one we've received more and more teasing about DH not getting 'The Big Snip' done. With our 3rd baby the congrats came BEFORE the teasing.

This one??? The teasing before the congrats. They were definately second.

I totally have come to the conclusion that once the babe gets here its all excitement - its the pregnancy part that loses its shine....

 

[VegMomma]

DDC crashing to say that with our second, hardly anyone paid attention, even after the baby was born! There were no gifts (which was fine by us), hardly any visitors, and barely any cards or phone calls. It's so weird to me... why is the second baby less important?...

 

[Spring Sun]

It is different with us. We were in grad school with ds, so none of our friends understood what having a baby meant. They are all way more into this time bc they are getting to the point where they are getting married and thinking about having babies...someday, lol.
(I am only 29, but you would think I was like 22 since I only have one friend from pre-baby that has a baby now).

Everyone is SO into it this time, but that could be bc it had been 4 years since I was preggo last. Sorry mama, you desearve to be a quenn!

 

[darcytrue]

This is our 3rd child and I'm over 40 and had my last child 7 years ago.

So it's an interesting situation for me. Most of our friends have older children like we do right now, no one I'm close to has children even near toddler/preschool age so I get those "looks" like oh my - I'm glad I'm not you, lol. My family isn't as in to it as they were back when it was my second. They ask me about the pregnancy when I see them or talk to them but no big deal really. I'm only in week 16 at this point and not really showing yet so I'm sure it will get more interesting as I move along in the pregnancy. And once the baby arrives I doubt I'll get much attention then either. After I had my last child we got visitors and calls while in the hospital and for the first couple of weeks and after that - pretty much nothing.

 

[BekahMomToOliver]

Yup, I've definitely noticed people seem less excited. Especially DH's family, they don't even mention it. I think I talked to his mom about it once, right after we found out, but nothing since then. They do show blatant favoritism for SIL's kids, though, so I guess it's not that surprising

My mom and sister's are crazy excited though, which is nice. My younger sister always talks to my belly (She calls the baby Lemon because of it's size, and tells him/her all about how her day is going and how she hope's Lemon is a girl this time, lol)
Mostly, though, people are like "Another one already? You must be nuts!"
Yup, thanks.

 

[KayleeZoo]

Quote:

Ahhh....yes.....I hear you. This is our fourth baby, 5th pregnancy. each one has been different. With each one we've received more and more teasing about DH not getting 'The Big Snip' done. With our 3rd baby the congrats came BEFORE the teasing. This one??? The teasing before the congrats. They were definately second.

This is us, exactly.

 

[2boyzmama]

Well, I have a "new" group of friends this time, we've moved and I've changed jobs since my last pregnancy. In fact, that was true between my first and second, too! My friends are wonderful, they're all excited, can't wait to feel the baby move, are watching out for how I'm feeling, offering up food/drink, etc.

Family is another story... My in-laws said some rather rude things shortly after we announced the pregnancy, and my mom has kind of been neutral (not that she's ever really the over-reacting type). It's the comments from the inlaws that are really getting old...and they're always comments about *me*, not *us*..."I can't believe Sam is pregnant again" "How is Sam going to handle another baby when Connor is still so sick?" oh, and this kicker which was said just recently: "I sure hope Sam has a girl this time, I'm getting tired of buying boy clothes" (first of all, they hardly buy the boys anything, and secondly...as if *I* control the sex of the baby!!!!)

Anyway...I'm just trying to remember that nothing matters except how hubby and I feel, and he's being wonderful to me. So at least I have that! Just last night he was "talking" to my tummy, encouraging the llittle bean to move so he could feel him/her.

 

[Julia24]

Ahhh, yes - definitely

It's okay though, it's almost not real for ME yet and I'm the one dealing with all the symptoms good and bad, yk?

Anyways - it's true, once there is a precious baby around, people will be going nuts for him or her....even if you don't get a special phone call.

You know - in all honesty, I think I'm one of those people who don't make as big a fuss about subsequent kids myself. Not because I think they're less important - but because I, first of all, was SO excited to just have another couple joining the 'parenting' ranks - that's SO exciting! and secondly, I'm always so worried that I'm calling at the wrong time - my BEST FRIEND just had her third and she was getting on me the other day about not calling and I apologized but said, "Everytime I want to call, I get worried that it's a terrible time bc it's lunch time, nap time, maybe she's nursing, etc." That's what really gets me.

 

[mkksmom]

I can't say yet, but I hope this is true for me. My mom asks how I feel every day. On dh's side, my daughter is the only child and she'll be 5 in June. Plus they know that we've been trying so long and had some losses. I think they are excited and have been trying to stay a little detached, which I do not mind at all. I'm about to have dinner with them and we'll see how they act.

I hope they are less interested with the baby... or just more respectful and realize that I do not appreciate hovering when I am nursing. My MIL told me that if I didn't get over it and nurse around family that I would not have a successful time nursing. Proved her wrong and they couldn't believe I nursed for 17 months. They thought that was too old. Whatever. They hated that feeding time meant that I would take the baby away and go upstairs. Let me tell you that we both needed the break. I hope this time they will give the baby back when he or she cries because they will know that I won't wait around. If my baby cries, I will take him or her. My dd went through stranger anxiety early and hated my MIL because hse would try to take her away so she couldn't see me, and I just followed her room to room, so I hope that my MIL will not be such a control freak this time. Thankfully, being due in September means she will be working. With my daughter, she was off for the summer and had too much free time. Another good thing is that when my daughter was born, they were still expecting us for weekly dinners and now we have dinner with them every other month or so. My BIL and SIL moved out of the house and my MIL adapted to the empty nest, and so I am hoping she has adapted to being a grandparent (that it means you do not have control over the baby).

Oooh... sorry that turned into a bit of a rant. My MIL was a real pain in the butt when my daughter was a baby. She still is really, but my daughter can walk away from her, so that makes it easier.

 

[cristeen]

For some reason every one seems much more excited this time. Maybe because of what happened last time they feel the need to be supportive.

 

[Lisa1970]

Everyone was excited with the first baby. With the second, no one could figure out why I would do such a thing. It was as if there was an attitude that all babies must be accidents and one can be an accident, but the second was clearly on purpose. uuggh.

 

[acemama]

There are some people that are very excited for us, but for the most part people don't really seem to care. Us having a 4 th baby seems to be old news and not too exciting for most people.

 

[pastrygirl]

I've been too tired and nervous to be excited, so it seems like everyone is VERY excited for #2! It's hard for me because I have to fake excitement and talk about stuff when I don't feel like talking about it. Everyone's asking me about names right now, and meanwhile I just want proof that the baby is alive and doing OK! I don't want to think about names. Everyone wants to know everything about my appointments, but I just don't want to talk about it. I even hid my early u/s photo from someone who wanted to see it, because I'm not in the mood to share that kind of thing.

I just want to sleep for a few more weeks...then maybe I'll become giddy with excitement!

 

[TwinsTwicePlusTwo]

All my pregnancies have gotten a fair amount of interest from my family and friends, though never entirely positive (first I was too young, now I have too many

). I actually wish people would quit poking at my stomach, lol. I'm certainly very relaxed about things by now. The only times I really think about being pregnant are when I'm eating or looking at myself in the mirror (I'm not getting fat, I'm pregnant

).

 

[GiantGi]

This is #4 and it seems our circle has lost interest too. Alot of them think we are nuts.

 

[Chavelamomela]

People (friends & family) have been pretty excited for us. We went through a number of years of infertility before having ds#1 and it's been 4 years of trying again, so people know how much this pregnancy is 'wanted' - Our friends and family are very excited for us.

DH is probably the only one who is less "into" it - he's excited, for sure, but less interested in discussing the pg in general. - He's sick of the topic.

But he's supportive of doing our first HB, so I can't complain!