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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
DS fights his naps EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.<br><br>
But, he (almost) always falls asleep (and sleeps about 3 hours).<br><br>
If he doesn't sleep, he turns into a MONSTER by about 5:00 pm. Disobeying, doing everything he's not allowed to and laughing the whole time, pushing my buttons just to get a reaction, etc. We're both absolutely MISERABLE until he finally goes to sleep for the night (usually around 7:00 or 7:30 on these nights...but then he's up by 6:00 am...ugh!).<br><br>
He's always been a sleep fighter, but I just hate putting him down for naps. I literally have to pin him down while he screams for 5-10 minutes until he's ready to give in and choose to sleep. I hate it! It just doesn't seem right. But he seems to really need his sleep during the day.<br><br>
So, if this was your child, what would you do? He's 25 months by the way.
 

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My son (now 3) has been very similar to yours since he was about 16 months. I love to nap myself, so I started lying down with him in my bed (we stopped co-sleeping around 14 months) which was a special treat. I would either sleep myself or read a book. Sometimes he would go to sleep quickly and I would move him to his own bed or just sneak out of bed myself, if I had chores or something else I wanted to do. I agree that they do need their naps. Mine also struggles on days when he doesn't nap.<br><br>
Best of luck,<br>
Sarah*
 

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I would try changing the routine somehow. By rocking, laying in mama's bed, whatever... after reading lots about sleep, I think it is critical that kids get their naps. At age 2, kids really don't like to miss anything. I may also add some physical activities in the morning so he doesn't fight as hard.
 

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I cried the day I realized DD1 was done with naps. DD2 was 6 weeks old and I had just gotten them napping at roughly the same time every afternoon.<br><br>
One thing that helped was moving DD1's dinner to about 4:30pm. It pre-empted the 5pm meltdown and then we could have a quiet evening and have her in bed and asleep without tears by 7:15. It means you don't get to have dinner as a family but when family dinner is meltdown central and I've had to cook through a storm of tears (hers not mine)... I also found she would eat a ton at that time--meat, fish, veg, potatoes, whatever was put in front of her.<br><br>
Hope that helps. It just sucks when they give up their naps. Now DD1 is 3.5 I put the tv on and have 40 winks on the couch when DD2 naps. It's not the same but it's something!
 

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With DS, we started bouncing him on an exercise ball after his bed routine. The movement seemed to help his brain and body chill in a way that rocking/patting/cuddling/reading just couldn't.
 

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I think I would give up on that daytime nap, give him an early dinner and shift bedtime to 6:30pm. Do it for a week and see if anything changes.
 

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I would try laying down with him, telling him he needs to lay down and do quiet activities, even if he doesn't sleep for his 'nap'. Bring some books and quiet toys to bed with you. Let him play with them with dim/no lights for 10-15 minutes while he winds down. Then make sure it is very dark and quiet (this is the only way my DS will sleep, period) and tell him it is time to rest. Stay in bed with him until he falls asleep. Just find SOMETHING that will work, of this doesn't. If rocking or bouncing or whatever doesn't work, maybe he is ready to give up his nap. If so, I would also suggest moving his bedtime earlier. My DS dropped his afternoon nap, but now goes to bed at 7 pm. Good luck!
 

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3 hours seems like a huge nap to be giving up. And I assume that you dn't want the 10 minutes of screaming? Is he crying when you hold him? And then he falls asleep? Can you hold him for 6 minutes (sing, rock, or just sway silently), then put him down for 3 minutes (pat back, or just sit next to him) and then leave the room for 2 minutes? Then do the whole thing over again? The trick is to do it by the CLOCK, not his behavior. Then you are still giving him attention/parenting to sleep but you're not doing it based on any craziness which he might engage it. Just time it out and switch up the activity based on the clock. It works for us. (about the third time through the cycle is when he falls asleep, sometimes the second. When we don't do the cycle- when DH simply holds him to sleep - it can take him upwards of an hour to fall asleep, and sometimes even then he gets crazy and won't sleep.)
 

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We've had a few of those ~5 or 6 pm tantrums the last few weeks. What I do is take him straight to bed, where we cuddle and nurse. It started right after getting off Daylight Savings Time, so for a few days he went to sleep from there. As he's been adjusting to the time change, it's switched to a short time of cuddling in bed, and then he's ready to play for another 30-60 minutes and sleep after that.
 

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DD is usually peaceful for naps, but you totally described her bedtime! And she IS tired, she's just always needed to "fight it out" to get to sleep - she needs deep pressure - she needed the swaddle until she was 13mo's. Now DH tells her kindly that he will "hold her close," and wraps her in a deep, firm bear hug until she relaxes. The crying is usually very quick now that she expects the tight hold, and she'll even request it if he doesn't initiate quickly enough.<br><br>
Another option that has started working recently is firm back massage while she lies on her tummy. We introduced it as "making pancakes on her back," similar to the "making brownies" approach in Sleepless in America, and she really likes it now, and sometimes lets it put her over the top into sleep.<br><br>
At naptime, I just thought to add, we have to start someplace other than her bedroom, or she fights it. We sit and snuggle on the couch until she's relaxed and started to drift off, then I move her to her room.<br><br>
GL <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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I would put him in his crib with a book and lovey and let him settle himself to sleep. If that made no difference, I would try the lying together with a book thing.<br><br>
I'm of the (minority) opinion that at 2 they can fall asleep on their own. But I know I'm probably alone on that one.<br><br>
However, I will throw out there, that some kids need to wind down on their own. DD needed more space to sleep. She fought me hardest when I rocked her.<br><br>
DD will actually happily loll in her crib for up to an hour before she naps. She reads her books. Talks. Sings. Giggles. Snuggles. She has her own thing going. If she cries, I check on her. Offer a hug and let her try again.<br><br>
So maybe your DS needs his own space?<br><br>
V
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ASusan</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14683090"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">And I assume that you dn't want the 10 minutes of screaming? Is he crying when you hold him? And then he falls asleep? Can you hold him for 6 minutes (sing, rock, or just sway silently), then put him down for 3 minutes (pat back, or just sit next to him) and then leave the room for 2 minutes? Then do the whole thing over again? The trick is to do it by the CLOCK, not his behavior. Then you are still giving him attention/parenting to sleep but you're not doing it based on any craziness which he might engage it.</div>
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He just won't lay still unless I lock him down. Usually after pinning him down for a few minutes (him screaming and kicking and arching his back the whole time) I'll let him sit up and ask if he's ready to lay still with me. If he goes right back to rolling and crawling around all over the bed, I'll repeat the procedure until eventually when I ask him if he's ready, he'll take a deep breath, lay quietly next to me/on me and is usually asleep in 15-20 minutes. It's like he just can't transition even though he's tired. At night we give him melatonin 30 minutes before bed and he goes to bed pretty well at night.<br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Violet2</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14683812"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I would put him in his crib with a book and lovey and let him settle himself to sleep. If that made no difference, I would try the lying together with a book thing.<br><br>
I'm of the (minority) opinion that at 2 they can fall asleep on their own. But I know I'm probably alone on that one.<br><br>
However, I will throw out there, that some kids need to wind down on their own. DD needed more space to sleep. She fought me hardest when I rocked her.<br><br>
DD will actually happily loll in her crib for up to an hour before she naps. She reads her books. Talks. Sings. Giggles. Snuggles. She has her own thing going. If she cries, I check on her. Offer a hug and let her try again.<br><br>
So maybe your DS needs his own space?<br><br>
V</div>
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He's in a big boy bed. He always hated his crib (co-sleeping didn't work for any of us) and does much better in his bed EXCEPT he won't stay in bed. No matter how tired he is he WILL NOT stay in bed unless he's actually asleep.<br><br>
Sigh, he's woken up for the 2nd time now since he fell asleep at 7:00 (no nap today). Gotta run
 

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I understand what you are going through. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> My ds (now 4) can't transition into sleep either and we had some pretty severe nap struggles starting shortly before he turned 2. I wasn't able to get him to sleep anymore and I chose to give up. Once we stopped trying for good he was VERY cranky starting around 4-5 PM. It lasted for at least a week or two until he was settled into his new schedule. And yeah, I have two kids that go down at 6:30-7:30 PM and get up for the day at 5:30 AM and it sucks, but what can you do. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"><br><br>
Good luck!!
 

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My dd1 was like that at that age. We started having what I called a "full bed romp" where we laughed and tickled and cuddled and nursed for a good long time in the afternoon on my bed.<br><br>
Sometimes we slept; sometimes not; sometimes just she slept.<br><br>
She has trouble falling asleep, but the key has been to make it sweet bonding time rather than a time of conflict.
 

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Frusterating, but I would be doing the same thing. He clearly needs the nap. Other than walking away from the struggle I don't think there is much to do. My DS sometimes puts a huge fight too but he NEEDS it. It just takes him a wild to unwind. Sometimes I run him hard (out the door, special event, park, and lunch by like 10:30) to get him to sleep in the car.
 

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This was my child and I just lay with her and read until she calms down enough to sleep. I've been known to spend one to two hours in there with her somedays, but the alternative wasn't fun because she would be so grumpy without her nap. Luckily she seems to have gotten over that and goes down for her naps easily now. I think consistancy was the key. (knock on wood)
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>bstandlee</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14683876"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">He just won't lay still unless I lock him down. Usually after pinning him down for a few minutes (him screaming and kicking and arching his back the whole time) I'll let him sit up and ask if he's ready to lay still with me. If he goes right back to rolling and crawling around all over the bed, I'll repeat the procedure until eventually when I ask him if he's ready, he'll take a deep breath, lay quietly next to me/on me and is usually asleep in 15-20 minutes. It's like he just can't transition even though he's tired. At night we give him melatonin 30 minutes before bed and he goes to bed pretty well at night.<br><br><br><br><br>
He's in a big boy bed. He always hated his crib (co-sleeping didn't work for any of us) and does much better in his bed EXCEPT he won't stay in bed. No matter how tired he is he WILL NOT stay in bed unless he's actually asleep.<br><br>
Sigh, he's woken up for the 2nd time now since he fell asleep at 7:00 (no nap today). Gotta run</div>
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Oh. I must've missed something in the OP. Okay in that case, try the nap and if it doesn't go well, cut it and but him to bed earlier. Or transition to quiet time where he has to stay in his room, but doesn't have to be in bed and then put him to bed early on the days he doesn't crash.<br><br>
Or resort to bribes. One mom I know has a climber that can't be held in a crib. She bribes.<br><br>
V
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s My DS has always had issues with napping/sleeping too. I've actually been debating the last month or two on whether or not I'm willing to put up with super crankyness for a week or two in order to avoid the naptime routine - hes 2.5 now. So far, it hasn't happend, though the 4:30pm dinner might work really well... I might have to try that here sometime and see how it goes...
 

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DS fights sleep too. But he inevitably ends up dropping off, usually at an inopportune time. Last night he skipped his nap (I thought we'd try it again) and fell asleep at dinner. Literally put a piece of food in his mouth and dropped off with the unchewed piece still in there.<br><br>
I've tried virtually every suggestion I've found, but the ONLY thing that *works* is sitting/lying down and NOT ENGAGING with him (as in playing, etc.) until he gets to sleep. We do the same thing at bedtime. It's tedious and annoying because it can take up to an hour, but it's obvious the kid still needs his sleep. We read books and sometimes I'll even put on a short cartoon video, but otherwise ALL activity stops, and when we're done reading or whatever, I will either pretend to sleep or read a book until he gets the message.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>bstandlee</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14682360"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
I literally have to pin him down while he screams for 5-10 minutes until he's ready to give in and choose to sleep. I hate it! It just doesn't seem right.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> Trust your instincts on this one. There's a reason it doesn't feel right. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> Don't pin your little guy down while he screams for ten minutes.<br><br>
Could he fall asleep in a stroller or car ride? On your back in an Ergo? Rest is important, I agree, but that can't be the only way.<br><br>
There are definate down sides to nursing-to-sleep, which is what we do, but a quick and peaceful nap time is one of the blessings. I hope you find something that works for you both & is more gentle. Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution?<br>
Good luck!
 
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