Mothering Forum banner

1 - 13 of 13 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,986 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am in the process of reading The plug in drug. At the moment my 2 year old is only allowed one 30 minute video after dinner. This is simply a special Christmas movie "treat" if you can call giving in to the TV a treat.<br>
Anyway in the book it mentions this quiet time for non napping toddlers. It is supposed to be good for them to have "free time" I am very intirigued by this and am wondering if this is possible for a 2 year old. (or is this wishful thinking on my part) My DD can play on her own but wants me to see everything she has done. So while she is playing she is calling, "mommy come see" So I have to look at the dollhouse with the animals in the kitchen etc....<br>
Anyway..what do you do to encourage this free quiet time? I'd like her to be TV free and feel guilty that I've already given in. Any tips would be great!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,295 Posts
I don't know, my daughter loves her naps! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
Also, if she is quiet and alone for more than 5 minutes it means she is climbing up bookshelves, flushing coloring book paper down the toilet or eating soil out of the potted plants, so we don't do much alone time. :LOL<br><br>
Ohhh, congrats! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,632 Posts
I dont have any suggestions, but am also looking into going tv free. My dd is 18 months and loves the tv and cries when its off. Time to do away with it in my opinion
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,651 Posts
My son has been pretty much tv free since he turned 2. He does watch an occasional train footage video, occasional Mr. Roger's or animal planet, maybe once a week.<br>
There was a time when I let him watch more TV than was good for him, and that is when I was nine months pregnant with pubis symphasis and couldn't walk. After the baby was born, I had to cut him off cold turkey - he would NOT play by himself AT ALL. He cried for the TV. I couldn't stand it. It took three weeks of zero television for him to even start developing normal play habits again. He needed me to see and start everything "here mama, play with this". Now, almost a year later, we wake up and he goes in his room, plays with his little brother in the playroom for a couple hours while I get work done. I think it's really important for kids that young to not watch TV everyday. They need to know what boredom is like, to start the creative juices flowing so they will initiate their own play. Kids need to see their mothers enjoying their own pursuits, housework, etc. If they aren't napping, you just have to be frank with them and tell them this is quiet time. It will take lots of reminders and redirection, but eventually they will come to grasp it. Just be firm and kind about it. She might not actually play 'quietly', but she'll learn that this is 'mommy's time' if you are consistent with it. Good luck!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,099 Posts
My dd doesn't watch kids shows, but I have had the tv on ALL the time when we are home for ages now... Suddenly in the last few weeks she recognizes Dr. Phil and laughs and claps when he comes onstage! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag">: (Just want to add that tho I am obsessed with watching him, I also do have a healthy hate on for the man)<br><br>
JUst this week I have gotten the internet at home and have significantly cut down on my tv watching. I think I have felt a need for connection to the outside world, apart from myself, my dd, chosen family and playgroups, and the tv was fulfilling that need (altho bombarding me with twisted messages and I knew it). It can be hard to be alone with a babe/toddler all day. I am not missing the tv now that I have free access to the net, am enjoying greater control over the content I am exposed to, and relieved to be not feeling guilty that my baby is watching tv and recognizing distasteful personalities!<br><br>
So I am a tv free wannabe, and suddenly feeling much closer to that goal!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,093 Posts
We don't watch TV in our house. My daughter has a few Baby Einstein videos that she likes to watch on occasion, but we prefer to put music on for her instead. She's never watched TV shows.<br><br>
She still goes down for naps, but doesn't always sleep. So I guess you could call that her "quiet time." We put her down just after lunch, and she either sleeps, or plays quietly in her crib for a bit. We go up and get her when she calls for us, but she ususally stays up there napping or playing for 40-60 minutes. On a rare day, she'll nap for an hour and a half. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
396 Posts
We have a TV, but it's in the closet, which really helps us never watch it. Also it only gets one channel. (My parents got rid of our TV when I was 9, and it improved our family life a lot, so I know what I want.)<br><br>
We do get videos occasionally--which means, really, when somebody is sick and we need the rest time. --hard to read books with a sore throat, and DS doesn't sit still much on his own.<br><br>
So what it comes down to is this: I love not having TV, for the adults and the kid both. I love how DS's imagination is his own, full of water heaters and nudebranchts and cat puke, not barney and ernie and whatever else is current. I love how I am not bombarded with cr*p all day long, either. And....he's 3, and finally is playing on his own a lot. Not when I choose for him to, but I have learned to notice when he's shifted into independent mode, and quietly pick up a book or go load the dishwasher or just lie down on the couch. He doesn't nap any more, but we try for a quiet cuddle time every day, reading books or telling stories. Sometimes I really really wish he would just go sit quietly by himself, but it's also nice to be seen as the most interesting storyteller in the house <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> (except for Papa's fire stories, of course).<br><br>
Good luck, everybody; no tv is fun!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,374 Posts
We are also walking the TV-free tightrope. We get no channels, keep the TV unplugged and out of sight, BUT we do have few videos (taped off TV sesame street, Mr. Rogers, etc). It seems to come and go for us -- last winter when ds was 16 mos or so was when he first got hooked -- he would watch 20 min or so of a sesame street (the same one each time) after dinner w/ daddy. but, he begged and whined for it alllllll day. When we all had the stomach flu, he got to watch it pretty much non stop for 3 days and then was done. So, we put that tape away. When ds2 was born in may, a friend gave me some more tapes and he watched them occasionally (30 mins 1-2x month) over the summer, when I really needed him to be occupied for some reason. Just now, he was really sick a few weeks ago and so I let him watch videos so I could get things done (important things, like caring for the baby, going to the bathroom etc) with out him clinging to me and sobbing. Well, he's hooked on Elmo now.<br><br>
sorry that was long winded, and more than you needed to know <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag">:<br><br>
the biggest problem for me is that *I* also get hooked on his videos -- no, not watch them myself but to get things done. My ds does play independently, but on his own schedule, as a pp said. Esp now that I have 2, it is really nice to be able to put a video on for ds1 when the baby is napping so I can make dinner, wash dishes, mop the floor etc.<br><br>
That said... I really don't like ds watching TV, and we are weaning away from it again. My strategy is mostly to involve ds in everything I do. Yes, I would really rather wash dishes by myself and be done w/ it in 10 min, but DS loves to help rinse with the sprayer, so thats what we do...<br><br>
I'm also thinking of getting some books on tape, as ds loves being read to more than anything else. I'm not sure he can turn the pages well enough yet though. I'm also asking for more fun kids music for him for xmas/<br><br>
Oh, the other thing we do is sing aobut TV characters (well, elmo). Ds asks for "ah-mo" and I say, hmm, we're all done watching TV right now, but we can sing about elmo... and I just make up silly songs, or do old macdonald had an elmo... that seems to work to diffuse/avoid the tantrum, and the I can go onto singing a diff song and then distract him..<br><br>
blah. I have a lot to say, I guess!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,508 Posts
I feel compelled to say that watching videos is the same as watching TV. Anything viewed on the TV or Computer is in the same category, so if you want to be TV-Free, then you can't watch any videos at all or any DVDs on your computer. This is discussed at length in <span style="text-decoration:underline;">The Plug-In Drug</span>.<br><br>
We went tv-free a few months ago. It was a little hard at first, but only for a week or so. We've never looked back. Over time, DS has become more and more capable of playing independently, but then again, he is going to be three in March. I think a 20 month old is still needing a lot of interaction from Mommy or someone else.<br><br>
Some of the things I would suggest have been mentioned here: involve your dd in your activities, or play music. My ds loves to dance and sing! And the only way I can get things done is to have him "help" me. He has a sponge to "clean" the sink and he will "vacuum" with one of the wands from our vacuum cleaner.<br><br>
Only very recently - since he turned 2 1/2 - have I experience the independent play.<br><br>
The link in my siggy "my ds is tv-free" has lots of good links in the first post and a few more in the last posts. Check it out! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,474 Posts
Well my ds, 2 in a few weeks, has never watched any tv or any videos and he still wants me to see what he's doing or watch him while he plays. He likes me to interact with whatever game/doll/truck etc is being played with. He wants me to crayon with him too, and run and splash in puddles and jump. I think this simply has to do with them being 'recognized' or affirmed by the important people in their lives. And I agree that 2 is still pretty young for them to be playing on their own for any long period of time. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> on going tv free, momma
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
73 Posts
We are TV free too. We banished the TV down to the basement before DS was born and has not missed it since. We used to take home videos and played them back occasionally on the computer until we spoke to our homeopath. Her recommendation is no TV and or home video at least til 3 and then, maybe 10 min a week, should we so desire. Her explanation to us was that every min spent watching TV could have been spend exploring, touching, feeling, imagining, climbing, playing, reading, etc. TV stimulates the brains but they are unable to process the info at this age. Even with educational programs, they are a form of passive learning. I agree with her so DS spends most of the time playing with us.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,205 Posts
Kai is almost 14 months and we are tv free. I cant believe some people I know with children Kai's age brag how they know this character and that one and sing to them. I play with kai a large part of the day #1 cause I love it and #2 I used to be a therapist so I Like teaching him sign language etc. I can say we are NOT missing TV Im so proud that he will not be a addict that doesnt know how to think for himself and make up his own play. I was impressed when he went up to his lil wooden kitchen and started washing his hands when DH was washing his in the kitchen. DS was even making lil shwooosh sounds pretending to wash them. My family thinks im disadvantaging him HAHAHA! We know we are doing the right thing creating rhythms in his day, playing outside etc and NO TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,986 Posts
Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Thank you *solsticemama* for letting me know that this is age appropriate and not to expect that independent play just yet.
 
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
Top