[mistymama]

... what would it be?

I've got a good friend who's baby is 5 months old. I've been talking with her about GD and she's very receptive. Her husband is going to be harder to convert. Anyway, I'd like to send her a great book, something that is easy to read and clearly explains the benefits of GD and the harm of spanking.

I've been reviewing the GD book list here, but I'm clueless as to which book to buy. The only book I've read is the Dr. Sears one, and I'm just not sure that's going to convert them.

Anyone have suggestions? If you could choose one book to help explain the benefits and convert someone to GD, what would it be?

 

[maya44]

The Secret of Parenting by Anthony Wolf.

It's especially good for reluctant husbands because its about being GD while still having parents in charge.

 

[AllyRae]

I can honestly say I DON'T recommend the book "Positive Discipline from A to Z"...I thought I would really like it, except they're big on forcing your child to do things or putting them in time out when they don't listen... Not exactly the positive or gentle way to do things...

 

[sagira]

Not to hijack the thread, AllyRae, but that's not how the Positive Discipline method is about. I've read four books already in the series, including A-Z, and none of them are about forcing, but trying to win cooperation and avoiding power struggles. The time-out they talk about is Positive Time-Out, a cooling-off period determined by the child.

The only thing I ignore and don't agree with is their view on sleep. Everything else I feel is right on target with GD -- no spanking, no yelling, no threats, no punishments, no lectures.

In line with this, I think Positive Time-Out: And 50 Other Ways to Avoid Power Struggles is a great, succinct book on the subject and encompasses all the good Positive Discipline has to offer (which is a lot) and no mention of sleep issues in this one!

This is the one I'm using to convince my husband with GD.. he's actually already pretty much convinced from himself (he would never spank) but he has a tendency to talk about removing privileges, and I could see him lecturing or threatening if he feels there are no other tools.

This book has 41 Action Tools!

Cheers and good luck,

 

[AllyRae]

LOL...Sagira...I guess it's just because I turned to both of the issues we need to work with and both of them were not very positive. There was a part in there that said something about how if your child doesn't want to do something, you need to act and pick the child up and have them do it. And then they mention a time out if your child won't stop touching things you don't want them too... I guess maybe it seems like the mainstream introduction to GD...but I decided I didn't want to use that book to help out in determining GD (which is a shame, because I LOVE the A to Z format...it was nice to just flip to the problem and see what it's about).

 

[AllyRae]

Here it is... This is the part I dislike...

Quote:

If you mean it, say it once; if you say it, act. 'Stop playing with the TV dials now." Then remove your child if he doesn't stop, or put your child in a playpen or another room that has been childproofed

This paragraph was in the same section about older infant/toddler touching things. Although I do like the point they made about if you're more concerned about the books on the bookshelf, you're telling the toddler that those books are more important than the child's desires.

 

[Elphaba]

....

 

[velcromom]

I love "Between Parent and Child" by Dr. Haim Ginott, it changed me over to GD when ds1 was 3 and we have been using it ever since. It was also very healing for me, coming from a family where physical punishment was the norm and having been very distressed and confused by it as a child. I have the older version of the book but it has been republished and updated. I give it to moms-to-be at baby showers.

 

[sadie_sabot]

Becoming the Parent You Want to Be is a great one.