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Discussion Starter #1
would you expect her to tell you?<br>
Let's assume that she is in a monogamous relationship with a man, has a child with said man, and has no interest in you in "that way."<br><br>
eta: I'm not judgemental... I'm the bi friend <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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no. I am bi though so I'm sure my opinion is biased <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I think being out is the decision of each individual.
 

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It's no one's business what someone else's sexual orientation. I'm bi and do tell because it's a great way to weed out undesirable people from my life.
 

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I wouldn't <i>expect</i> her to, no. But in reality, with my friends, I would imagine they would tell me. That's just how we are. I know one of my married friends has had a lot of same-sex relationships beofre she married her Dh and they have a 4mo child now.
 

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If the topic came up, I would tell her - but then, I'm VERY out about my bisexuality. Not everyone is, and some feel that if they don't want to have sex with YOU, why do you need to know about their sexual preferences.<br><br>
The closer the friend, the more likely she would be to tell you - assuming that you haven't indicated any prejudice.....
 

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Not really. I suppose I can see it coming up sooner or later in a friendship, but I wouldn't say I'd "expect" her to. I am bisexual and lots of people have no clue. I am married to a man, have kids, etc. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Depends. If I had a close friend who didn't tell me she was bisexual, I'd be a little surprised about that.<br><br>
But an acquaintance type friend, no.
 

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I can't think of anything that would make me think that info was owed to me. If we were close friends I would think it would come up at some point... but I know some people don't feel safe, that some people are uncomfortable with the process or tired of the process of constantly outting themselves.. so I wouldn't feel like it was an issue.<br><br>
In all fairness my answer 20 years ago when I first had friends come out to me was different. It took me a while of trying to reverse the equation to get over my feelings of confusion and betrayal back then.
 

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no and yes. i wouldn't *need* her to tell me because it really doesn't matter but if we're friends i would sort of expect her to tell me in that we're friends and we should be open with eachother and if she feels she can't be open with me then we need to evaluate our friendship and i need to evalute myself. i take this from that i am open with my friends and if i keep something from someone it's because i don't consider them friends. make sense? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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No.<br><br>
If she chooses to peel away that layer and show it to you, then it's her decision. Perhaps she has good reason for not telling you.<br><br>
I'm bi as well and I've found my friendships with women change drastically (in one of two ways) after they "know."
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>thismama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8060743"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Depends. If I had a close friend who didn't tell me she was bisexual, I'd be a little surprised about that.<br><br>
But an acquaintance type friend, no.</div>
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ok but who wouldn't tell YOU that they are <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Arduinna</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8060773"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">ok but who wouldn't tell YOU that they are <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"></div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/ROTFLMAO.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rotflmao"> I guess that's true. If I was straight I wouldn't be offended. But I'm queer and pretty loud about it so it would be weird if a friend didnt' come out to me.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>earthymama2b</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8060716"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">The closer the friend, the more likely she would be to tell you - assuming that you haven't indicated any prejudice.....</div>
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Just wanted to clarify, that I'm the bi friend <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br>
I'm obsessively honest, but it just really hasn't come up yet. And to be honest, even though I'd tell just about anybody, I don't want to have anything awkward there either. These are new friends, ftr.<br>
I wasn't sure if it would be seen as a "lie of omission" or not. kwim?
 

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No. I'm married to a man, and I'm bi, but I rarely mention it. It doesn't seem relevant. A couple of my oldest friends know, and that's because we used to spend lots of time together and we'd talk about all sorts of things, that sort of thing included. And of course my dh knows.<br><br>
But these days, it just doesn't come up, and it isn't something I would feel like I needed to "tell" someone. If asked, I'd say "yes."<br><br>
Julia<br>
dd 1 <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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No.<br><br>
I love my friends, but I don't feel the need to tell them that it makes my XXXXX get XXXXX when DH does XXXXXX to my XXXXXXXXXXXX <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">:<br><br>
I can see it coming up between close girlfriends, but in no way do I feel I am owed information about someone's private sexual life!
 
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