I have a thirteen year old, a two year old and a five month old. The two year old was practically another first child, with that spacing. But adding the five month old was very hard on me. We wanted him, we planned them that close, but once I had him, I had my first bout of ppd, it was just HARD, juggling two. Its gotten easier as he gets older/bigger and dd is use to him now. I have a friend who has three that close and says going from two to three isnt the adjustment that going from one to two was.
Its just that, we really want one more and Im 36 already. But now Im worried about my ability to juggle three that close togather and am thinking of waiting two or three or even four years, but that would make me 40 and my oldest one a highschool graduate!
Guess Im just looking for your stories, so I can see how others did it, handled it etc. The other side is, if I do wait, then these two will be ready for tball, gymnastics etc and I wont want to cuz I'll have a new baby, so doing it sooner seems better in that sense. But later seems easier on everyone.
According to me mother, I dont live in the real world (because we want another one at all). If this isnt the real world, I dont know what is!
At five months I just now feel like Im enjoying my kids again, instead of being stressed by all the demands. (That never happened with the first two, I enjoyed them from conception, well, morning sickness aside).
I guess my concerns are: one, healthy outcomes, "advanced maternal age" versues not enough recovery time between babies. Two, if I have them too close, will I get WORSE ppd, because I'll have three lil ones to juggle (though dd will be older by then, four or so) THree, if I wait am I taking the chance that I wont be able to concieve (though my grandmother did at 42 purely by accident). Plus there are financial issues: do it early and take the blow of another unpaid maternity leave when we still are recovering from the last two versus waiting, having more money to do it but not being able to do anything else for that long, because we will be saving for it (you know, no new car even though mine is ready to die any day now, just when we get to where we could take a vacation(by vacation, I mean a weekend trip to visit family, nothing extravagent) we wont because we'll be gearing up for baby, whearas doing it sooner prolongs our situation now but once we bounce back, we'll be done).
Oh, just give me your ideas/opinions/thoughts so I'll have something to think about. I cant find ANYTHING online about having a baby after 35 if you already have kids, everything is about the risks of having your FIRST baby after 35 and surely the issues are diffrent. Any thoughts or suggestions are welcomed. Thanks!
Oh gosh, maybe I shouldnt even be worrying this soon, but Im trying to decide if I need to start worrying about preventing, iykwim.
Of course he's only five months, when dd was nine months was when we decided it was time for the next one and I was pg. when she was 11mos.
My other concern is whats fair to all the kids. I feel guilty all the time that one or the other of my kids isnt getting as much as they need from me. DS gets put down a LOT compared to my first two that were totally "in arms" babies. I dont WANT to put him down so much, but I have to chase after dd and/or cook so I can feed the other kids etc.
What a dilema.