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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
what do you do?<br><br>
If you think the teacher and/or the principal is being neglectful of your child, what steps do you take?<br><br>
So far, the superintendent of schools has been called - who said you need to have a meeting at the school level.<br><br>
I recommended calling higher ups, and/or CPS or PD. Of course, child has been removed from the environment, but b/c of limited verbal, finding out exactly what has happened will be difficult, to say the least.<br><br>
I also recommended keeping a journal as bits and pieces come out of the child and record them.
 

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I need to think on this one. Holy crap. My immediate thought is go to the school and demand someone's head on a platter....of course we know that's not exactly the best course of action. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:<br><br>
Is this your kid?? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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A woman i know whose son has autism and SID was abused with his weighted blanket by the daycare <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br>
That daycare has been shut down and criminal charges filed. She called cps and the police. Through investigating they found many children (esp special needs) being abused.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>a-sorta-fairytale</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9075015"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">A woman i know whose son has autism and SID was abused with his weighted blanket by the daycare <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br>
That daycare has been shut down and criminal charges filed. She called cps and the police. Through investigating they found many children (esp special needs) being abused.</div>
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<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
That makes me want to throw things at people. Or abuse them with a weighted blanket. Vomitous.<br><br>
shellbean, no advice, but lots of hugs.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>a-sorta-fairytale</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9075015"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">A woman i know whose son has autism and SID was abused with his weighted blanket by the daycare <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br>
That daycare has been shut down and criminal charges filed. She called cps and the police. Through investigating they found many children (esp special needs) being abused.</div>
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Jesus. It's stuff like that that made me have severe anxiety when the topic of sending ds to preschool came up. My God. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bawling.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bawl"><br><br>
Abusing kids is bad enough. Abusing special needs kids, especially nonverbal ones, is an even more sinister kind of evil, IMO. :puke
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Finch</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9075039"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Jesus. It's stuff like that that made me have severe anxiety when the topic of sending ds to preschool came up. My God. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bawling.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bawl"><br><br>
Abusing kids is bad enough. Abusing special needs kids, especially nonverbal ones, is an even more sinister kind of evil, IMO. :puke</div>
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yes, and abusing them with a much needed therapy tool <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br>
I met her because she was freecycling a weighted blanket because he was now terrified of it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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call the state also - don't stop at the district superintendent. there should be a complaint form on the state website, regarding implementation of IEP failures, etc. - i would start poking around that part of the website.<br><br>
also advocacy organizations in your area <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Fortunately, it's NOT Jake. Someone on a local support group knows I'm a teacher and asked what I'd do. I did say to call dept of ed and file a complaint. She's just in shock, of course, as I would be. Her child loved school and all of a sudden started having strange marks, being unhappy at school and seemingly dehydrated and losing weight. All in the matter of a couple of weeks.
 

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I've dealt with this as a teacher, unfortunately. We had a child in our program who was close to non-verbal, and came home one evening with adult hand-print bruises on his arms like he'd been shaken. In the course of the day he'd been alone (or alone with other limited verbal kids) with a couple of daycare staff, a couple of bus drivers/aides, me, my assistant teacher, his 1:1 at school, his speech path, his O.T., his mom and his step dad.<br><br>
The parents came to me because they trusted me, I called CPS. CPS did an investigation and confirmed that there had been abuse, but that they weren't able to find the source. In the meantime we held a new IEP meeting at which they switched his bus aide and attendants back to one he had before whom the parents trusted, and implemented a procedure whereby the school system alerted parents if the aid was sick so that they had the option of driving. We also put in place procedures whereby he was never alone with 1 staff member. Daycare put in place similar procedures. Parents were convinced it was the bus aide, but of course we couldn't prove that, so we just made sure he was always covered with 2 or more staff.<br><br>
It was really hard not knowing what had happened, and knowing that we never will know. However, we didn't have a repeat incident all year (he moved to another placement the next year) so that was reassuring.
 

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This makes me so angry and also scares the crap out of me. This is the reason I will not put DD in pre-school, and our school district does not understand why I am unwilling to put a non-verbal child in pre-school. I don't trust people I don't know (teachers or not) to take care of my child.<br><br>
I know I would go ballistic and just lose it if anything happened to DD, so I don't have any good advice about what to do. I hope this is just hypothetical on your part, and not something that happened to your DC.
 

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i pulled strings.<br><br>
my mother was with the arkansas department of education as a behavioral consultant. as THE behavioral consultant for the area i was in...<br><br>
i requested a new teacher and was denied. we had a meeting about it...i was STILL denied...so mom called and told them and said that she had been called in by the parent, me.<br><br>
at this point, they immediately switched classes for me. see, if a behavioral consultant is called in by either the school, or the parent...then the school is legally bound to follow their commands. cool, eh?
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Momily- this is what I (and she) fears happening. Proving exactly who/what happened will be likely impossible. re-doing the IEP is something that is an option, but if the principal is involved, how much help will that be?<br><br>
Bunsmom- I don't want to alarm you, but this child is in her 2nd year of kinder and my son is in kinder this year and still completely non-verbal.<br><br>
Loriforeman- that's good to know, but don't know what/who a behavorial consultant is for our area- is that someone in dept of ed that I could find on the main website?<br><br>
The thing that really worries her is that she feels the principal is involved, if not directly causing harm, at least encouraging/not discouraging it.<br><br>
It is absolutely terrifying. Trusting the teacher/staff is THE most important part of navigating this, especially w/special needs kids.
 

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shel, i'm pm'ing you about how OURs works...<br><br>
arizona department of education DOES have a website, but i've not seen a link yet to behavioral consultants, or behavioral intervention specialists.<br><br>
i'm working on it...having mouse issues and might need to purchase a new one tomorrow.
 

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This is the exact reason why now I am 100% convienced NOT to allow my two daughter into a public school or public day care center.<br>
I had trouble with a nursery school teacher earlier in the year with Emma (not to mention, the first thing out of the teacher's mouth when I brought Emma there the first day was, "You're her mom?! I wasn't expecting someone parenting a child from a wheelchair."). The staff completely ignored my paper I printed up showing Emma's cathing and medicine schedule (at the time, she had to take medicine at lunchtime). I'd come to pick her up and she'd be soaking wet from bladder leaks all through the day that could have been prevented if they had taken her into the bathroom and helped her cath herself. Plus, they kept her in the same diaper all day long. One of the teacher's aides rather rudely told me that's how a toddler learns to potty train is to let them sit in a wet or messy diaper until they don't like it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hopmad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hopping mad"> I tried to explain to her that Emma can't tell when she has to go to the bathroom becuase her nerves and muscles are damaged, therefore, potty training was out of the question. She then said, "Well, why don't you have her go to another nursery school, that caters to special needs kids".<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/banghead.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="banghead"> I told her off, saying that Emma is very intelligent, despite having to use a wheelchair and wear diapers. The next day, Emma refused to go back to nursery school, bawling up a storm, saying that the people there are mean to her and the kids keep touching her wheelchair and pushing it when she doesn't want them to (I know how this is and I understand how scared she feels about it). <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:<br>
So, I just said that we were going to do something different that day and went down to Barnes and Nobels, got 2 books on homeschooling and went over to this school supply place in Olympia and got some great information from the cashier on homeschool supplies for a preschooler.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/coolshine.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="sunshine"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/homeschool.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="homeschool">: I decided that if public school was going to treat my daughter horribly for being different, then I wasn't going to stand for it.<br><br>
I only wish my parents had done the same for me. I was harassed by a special needs teacher that I use to help during my junior year in HS (I had to do it for one of my elective credits). She blew up at me one day and yelled at me and said that I was a product of the devil and that my parents should be ashamed for having a daughter that was faking a disability. She then pushed my shoulder and said "What are you gonna do about it, cry to mommy? It won't get a liar like you anywhere. Your parents should have put you in a mental health hospital the minute you were born!"<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/fencing.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="fencing">: I was crying and very upset. At the time, I had really bad complex partial seizures and urologic problems (I hadn't yet been diagnosed with Hereditary Spastic Paraplegia), and she assumed that the reason I chose to help in the class as an elective was to stay in the special ed room all the time (which wasn't the case) for easier homework. My parents raised hell with the principal, teacher and school board, but it didn't do much good.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/argue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="argue">: I was eventually switched over to a library aide (which I liked a whole lot better), but the teacher never lost her job at all.<br><br>
All in all, I have learned that homeschooling is the best environment for any child, wheather they have special needs or not. My girls love helping me with picking out new sewing projects that will help with their learning experience. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumbsup.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbsup"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/learning.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Learning">:<br><br>
Jessie<br>
(single mommy to Emma, 3 1/2 years and Angela, 2 years)<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/fly-by-nursing1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Fly By Nursing1"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/slinggirl.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Slinggirl"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/cd.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Cd">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/fambedsingle2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Fambedsingle2"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/goorganic.jpg" style="border:0px solid;" title="go organic">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/saynovax.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="no vax"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rocks.jpg" style="border:0px solid;" title="mdc rocks">
 

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Jessie, I am so sorry you went through that and that your sweet daughter had to endure that as well. You are giving me much needed reasurrance that I can homeschool my DD.<br><br>
What you and your DD have went through are the fears I have for DD and why I won't put her in school.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
While I appreciate your story, Jessie, I find it insulting to say your way is the best way for everyone else. I don't think homeschooling is the best environment for every child, obviously, or I wouldn't be sending my kids to public schools. I do think homeschooling is a wonderful option for some families. Your child's special needs are different from my child's special needs and with as much as I know about autism, I don't feel I could give him the best education possible. I find ways to work with the system. You chose to not work with the system. Fine.<br><br>
But to say your way is best, implies that my way is not best (on the positive) or neglectful (on the way negative).
 

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Now that i have mulled this over i think our friend needs to call cps and the police. That is what i would do if it was a nurse, babysitter, neighbor abusing a child. I am getting so angry about this. How can people pick on children <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Teachers, drs, daycare providers, etc., are mandated reporters. If they are the one doing the abusing,though, there isn't a clear cut path for parents to take. THe most vulnerable are the ones most likely to be abused. Kids, the elderly, special needs individuals. It makes me sick!
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
OT- sortafairytale- LOVE the siggy.
 
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