[FreeThinkinMama]

Do you pick them up and cuddle with them? I'm mostly referring to babies and toddlers, like when they start crawling and walking. I've been told by plenty of people in r/l not to pick up my daughter and comfort her if she gets hurt, that it will spoil her, make her whiny, and make her fake or dramatize her injuries to get attention, something of that nature. Of course I do what my instinct tells me anyway, to pick her up and comfort her if she's really hurt. If she lands on her butt and doesn't make a sound I don't rush to her of course.<br><br>
What do you think?

 

[loving-my-babies]

absolutely. my arms are open for my children ALWAYS. it does not matter if they are hurt, happy, sad, crying, laughing, clingy, tired.. they can always come to mama!<br><br>
I feel this way they learn to be secure individuals. they know I am here for them inconditionally.

 

[lillian]

i absolutely comfort my 9 month old when he hurts himself. isnt that what mommies are for???

 

[mamalisa]

What loving-my-babies said <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">

 

[wonderfulmom]

Trust your instincts!!<br>
I read in a book (which one??) something like: your child will eventually find out that sometimes people hurt and noone will come to comfort or help them. But your child should not learn that because of your inaction.<br>
Trust your instincts!!

 

[tricia80]

My dd is 5 yrs old... and i still comfort her... and did when she was a baby... now she needs less comforting and more of a kiss on the boo boo to make it feel better and about 3 seconds later she is playing..<br><br>
i dont consider that whiny, faking, or spoiled...<br><br>
always trust your own motherly instincts.. u know whats best for you and your babe..

 

[wemoon]

I will always hug my child if they get hurt. The only reason that children fake things *to get attention* is because they never got any or get any now.

 

[hipmamawnc]

Oh, yes. I always comfort my kids. No matter why they are crying, they are still crying and need some comfort. I often find myself comforting my 6 yo dd after being the one to cause her upset to begin with.<br><br>
Your on the right track, trust your instincts. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">

 

[oceanbaby]

Well, I'm 32 years old, and my dh comforts me if I get hurt, so I figure it must be okay to comfort my 3yo!

 

[FreeThinkinMama]

It's so nice to talk to some moms who have the same parenting philosophy as I do<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">

 

[wemoon]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>hipmamawnc</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I often find myself comforting my 6 yo dd after being the one to cause her upset to begin with.</div>
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I do this too! I don't like making my kids cry, so the hug is for them AND for me!

 

[nova22]

The way I see it, if you DON'T comfort and hug your child when s/he gets hurt, s/he is more likely to dramatize or fake injuries because they're longing for attention, kwim? If my son falls down and scrapes his knee I don't freak out and make a huge deal out of it, because I don't want him to think something is horribly wrong. But I will cuddle him, comfort him, and kiss his booboo if applicable. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">

 

[BusyMommy]

I have 2 really tough little boys, 3 y. & 21 mos. and people always comment on how they don't cry when they wipe out; ie. stumble, trip, fall,e tc. BUT...I am always right there to comfort them if they need or want it. I can tell by their cry if it's a "real" owie or just an annoyed one; ie. darn, I stumbled on this root. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: What they'll usually do at this point, is stand up, brush off, laugh and come over and present the injured part for a kiss.

 

[Icequeen_in_ak]

I always run to my dd when she falls and cries (of when she cries in general). What makes me sad is she is a "hold me.. but don't touch me!!" kind of baby when she's hurt. She will cry and put up her arms to me, I pick her up and try to hold her close to comfort her and she pushes me away. She doesn't want the hugs, just the pick up I guess <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">

 

[crunchymomma]

Yes, I *always* comfort my daughter when she hurts. If she topples over from standing or sitting, we'll often clap and exclaim "hooray!" and if she laughs, she's ok. If she starts to cry or whimper at all I pick her up and cuddle her immediately.

 

[mthomas]

My girl is a pretty tough cookie. There's been plenty of times she's done something that's made me wince and ask if she's okay, but she always hops right up. When she was smaller I had to break myself from telling her "ooooh, you're tough, don't cry" I don't know why I always said that, but I made the connection that I wasnt validating the fact that sometimes it does hurt, regardless of how "tough" you are, and darnit (!) it's okay to cry. So I decided to make an effort to stop saying that.<br>
I've pretty successfully broken myself of saying it to her, so I don't think I'll have any issues w/Connor.<br>
I feel for the kids who get told they're crybabies or "that didnt hurt."

 

[lilyka]

I guess i don't run to them unless I suspect there may be a real injury. I usually hold back a little and see if they are hurt and how much. I have a friend who gushed over her dd every bump and tumble wether she needed it or not and I swear she went into a fitone day because she bumped her hand on a pillow and I didn'tjump up to kiss her owie. I can see how that would get really old (well it did and I only had her two days a week). I would never deny my child comfort if they needed it but I don't assume they need it either. Also I comfort them as they need comforting. If thier pride is hurt I will direct my comfort to that instead of an owie. I try to remain upbeat and encouraging so that they don't assume they are always hurt just because they fell or something. When they fall rather than saying "ouch, did that hurt" I will say "boom, wow! are you alright" or just "kaboom! that was quite a landing! hop back up" My oldest one taught me a lot about not over reacting. As I ran one day to kiss her owie she quick planed a smack on her scrape and said "don't worry mommy, I've got it, stay where you are at . . . . " and another time when she was older she wrecked her bike. ran into a stop sign, completely mangeld herself. And as i was trying to comfort her she pushed me aside and said "get out of my, Sally is getting too far ahead of me I have ot catch up . . . . "<br><br>
So I guess I hang around in the middle. If they are carrying on I reassure them that they are Ok and they will live and it will stop hurting by tomarrow and if it doesn't we will try something else. usually they go right on playing.

 

[aniT]

Unless my children cry, I leave them be. I figure they will let me know if they need me. Of course if they are crying I pick them up and cuddle them, but if they fall, get up, brush themselves off and go back to what they were doing, I leave them alone.

 

[DesireeH]

Definately. That's what I am here for, to comfort him and kiss his boo boos. It will not spoil him. My parents did it for me. Dh's parents however did not, they never showed affection in fear of "spoiling" him and he is still messed up.

 

[spatulagirl]

I rush to DS when and if he needs me to. If I ran to comfort him every single time he fell or bumped into something that is all I would be doing. He is always falling and stumbling and hurting himself!<br><br>
I usually hold back unless I know it was something really big and he really got hurt. So if he falls off his bike I wait to see if he just picks himself up again and keeps going. Sometimes he comes to me when he needs a hug and kiss to make the ouchie better. And if it is a big fall or stumble I am right there scooping him up.