Mothering Forum banner

1 - 19 of 19 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,935 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am seeing a doctor for checkups for this pg, because last time dd came about 4 weeks early, and we had to go to the hospital to have her. Originally, she was to be a homebirth, like ds before her, by a very hands off midwife, so I consider ds's birth mostly UC, and dd actually was born in the hospital unassisted, no one came in when we rang the call button. Which was more than fine.<br><br>
Dh was unmoveable about not having doctor back up this time, as it was pretty horrific to go into the hospital with no paperwork and no doctor name as to who we'd been seeing. We were treated really badly. I don't want to go through that again.<br><br>
Anyway, fast forward to this one. I've been planning, all along to try to do this at home, by myself, despite monthly checkups from the doctor to calm dh.<br><br>
I cannot imagine going to the hospital unless there is a really, really good reason. My primary doctor is going to be going on vacation right around my due date, so that works to my advantage as well.<br><br>
My question is, if you have an "accidental" UC, is it better to go to a hospital to get the baby checked out, and then leave? Or is it okay to not go anywhere, and wait for them to remember that you haven't come in to give birth, if they do? And answer questions then?<br><br>
To add more confusion, our pediatricians do not have privileges in any of the hospitals around here, because they are more alternative. So the OB I've been seeing is pretty mainstream, but we don't yet have a ped lined up to even see this baby if I were to have him/her in the hospital, because I can't find one that won't do all the "mandatory" procedures they do to babies in hospitals.<br><br>
I'm thinking going to the hospital is the last place I want to go, if I don't have to. But am I going to get in some kind of trouble for not going?<br><br>
Does this make sense?<br><br>
I may not be clear, I"m pretty foggy headed right now. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,165 Posts
Homebirth is perfectly legal and it is your prerogative, and further you do not have a contract with the doctor to use his services. The hospital could try to make trouble for you and call CPS claiming concern for the baby's health, but as long as the baby has been seen by a doctor and pronounced healthy, there is nothing they can do. I would wait to call the hospital until after you've seen the pediatrician. Explain that you had an unexpected precipitous birth (say, 1/2 hour -- hey, it really does happen!) but since there were no problems, you felt it was unnecessary to call 911, and you didn't feel right about tying up 911 resources for a non-emergency. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> And because the baby was alert and vigorous you felt it made more sense to see his/her pediatrician rather than take him/her to the hospital.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,213 Posts
My first was an unplanned UC and my only regret is transfering to the hospital.<br>
So obviously I wouldn't do that again.<br>
My labor with my first wasn't a 1/2 hr but it was only 1 1/2 hrs long. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Fourlittlebirds, had really good advice!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,916 Posts
I would find an alternative sort of pediatrician to do a home visit after the birth of the baby. Does your midwife not to well-baby exams? Our provides 6 weeks of well-baby care post-partum.<br><br>
I wouldn't go to the hospital either, if the baby is healthy and strong. Just get someone to come to the house to check her over. Or if you have to, take her to the ped's office soon after birth (within 48 hours).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
28 Posts
If you decide to stay home for the birth I doubt anyone will even notice. Have you pre-registered at the hospital? If you don't pre-register you have an even better chance of slipping through the cracks, otherwise, I suppose there's a chance that they'll notice you, (I don't really know though because I've never had a hospital birth), it seems to me that as busy as most Dr.'s, hospitals etc. are they wouldn't really notice 1 missing mom though. Maybe try skipping your last couple prenatal appt.s and see if anyone calls? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
This same concern was an issue for me when planning for my 2nd birth ... I was seeing a Dr. for prenatal care and planning an UC and felt like people would come down on me SO HARD - I let it scare me out of my plans and hired a MW and I wish I'd realized how not a big issue it would have been and stuck with my plans. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
I just had my 3rd child unassisted (10 weeks ago), everything went great and paperwork / people's comments have all been very positive. We haven't taken him to a Dr. yet but if we'd chosen to, we would have just brought him and said that he was born at home, (for both our 1st and 2nd kids this was all the Dr. cared to know ... i.e., they didn't ask if we had a MW or who our MW was). We definitely didn't plan to bring him into the hospital following his birth.<br><br>
I wish you peace in this and good fortune dealing with the people around you ... I know how hard it is to deal with these kinds of concerns. Follow your heart and you will make the very best choice.<br><br>
hugs <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br>
Angel
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,935 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks for the replies, ladies. Great advice. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
Sometimes I just need to hear that what I want to do is okay. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/innocent.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shy"><br><br>
I called our pediatrician's office this morning and they are fine with me bringing the baby in the day after or two days after birth, if I feel the need to have someone check him/her for me. I've been seeing these people for almost 8 years, so they know me, I think it will be okay. Neither ds or dd were delievered by their practice, and they were fine with taking them, so I don't see it changing for this one.<br><br>
I have this feeling that the doctor I'm seeing won't remember if he delivers me or not. Just last month, he had an emergency C section and my appointment for the day was cancelled. I waited two and a half weeks to see if anyone called to remind me to reschedule, after the initial message, and nothing. I called and rescheduled, eventually, but that's one less appointment now. Yay!<br><br>
I also think he's busy enough with all his inductions/C sections, that he probably only remembers me when I'm in the office and he's looking at my chart. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/fingersx.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="fingersx">:<br><br>
As for the hospital, I already know they won't know/care if I don't come in. It's ironic that I pre registered at this same hospital for ds, and then ended up having a hb. I stayed pre regisitered with them, just in case, but never contacted them, and no one ever called me. I'm guessing if I don't show up for this one, I won't hear anything either.<br><br>
I know from having to go in to a hospital for dd that you can be pre registered, but it really only matters when you come through that ER door, then you're really there. I think pre reg is mostly them holding a hypothetical space for you, but if you don't use it someone else will.<br><br>
I'm feeling better about this, and so appreciate all the thoughts here. Thank you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,935 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by</i> <b>Sheacoby</b><br>
My labor with my first wasn't a 1/2 hr but it was only 1 1/2 hrs long. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"></td>
</tr></table></div>
That's great.<br><br>
I had a dream, a long time ago, before I was even pregnant with this one that my third labor was eleven contractions and I had the baby in the bathroom.<br><br>
I'm hoping this is one of those dreams that actually happens. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,491 Posts
yip yip yippeee!<br><br>
my only regret from my first UC was not having a plan for after the birth, in the event I would want a check up. I certainly didnt make that mitake twice<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Happy birthing, you sound all grounded and ready now!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,236 Posts
Great advice here! I'm pre-reg'd at the local hosp. although I don't intend to birth there. I like the idea of being registered in case I do go for any reason. I am also seeing an OB practice with this 3rd DC after the first two being born with the same mw.<br><br>
They are actually being surprisingly hands off.<br><br>
I don't have an official after birth plan (LOL, EDD is a day away!) We have an ultra crunchy family doctor who rocks but when I asked what I should do if the babe was "accidentally" born at home, she said, "you call 911." I don't think she would say that if her practice wouldn't be at risk, you know, just in case. She used to deliver babes at home & feels that hospitals are for sick people only.<br><br>
So I guess it depends when the babe comes & how I think he looks/acts. If it's on the weekend & he appears fine I guess I'll wait till the next week & have her check him out. OR, I know a local hb mw, wonder how much she'd charge just to come over & give us both a quick look over??<br><br>
I really do not want to set foot in the hosp. unless it's a true emergency.<br><br>
I am a tad nervous about how to handle the OB afterwards, I'm afraid they'd be nasty if they thought I UC'd purposely. I suppose if I get the babe checked out, they can't actually *do* anything. Just don't want to draw negative attention, kwim?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
590 Posts
The only people we were harrassed by was our Air Force base. They were just all up in our business from about 39wks. A neighbor decided to rat us out to the base hospital... I guess her hubby went in to ask "Is it *ok* if they are homebirthing". Well they said "no its not" and called my hubby's command. They in turn decided to try to force him to make me birth off base. Saying it was against AF Instruction. Well, we knew better and fought the command. (which is pretty gutsy, but we KNEW they were wrong!!!) He had to go againts the base commanders direct order. In the end... they had to apologize to us for saying something was a rule when it wasn't. Grr. All that stress a week before my baby was due.<br><br>
THEN!!!!! After I had her, we got a friendly call from his Major. Of course one of his first questions was "What did the doctor say about her?". Of course, wanting to see if we took her to the dr to be checked out. This was at like day 3. We were planning to take her at a week. Well, when he was told this, the Major went and reported back to the base commander (cause we already knew he only called to spy on us lol) that the baby hasn't been anywhere yet. The hospital then called us and harassed us about how the baby will die if it doesn't get the PKU test done immediately. We ended up taking the baby out the next day just to get them off our backs.<br><br>
Ugh, what a nightmare.<br><br>
I was seeing a midwife, but our family dr didn't even blink really when I said her birth was unassisted. He is pretty cool about our stuff... just nods and doesn't even bat an eye. lol Wish I could take him with us when we move to Iowa!<br><br>
Crystal
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,329 Posts
My dd was born at home with w a hands off mw. The mw checked her when she was born. I took her to our Family Practice doctor at 1 week to get a note saying he'd seen her for her birth certificate (that was trip to the health dept a week after that for the BC paperwork).<br><br>
I would not take a healthy infant to the hospital. I do feel if you were to call 911 after the birth, you would get all those nb procedures, a stay in the hospital like you had given birth, the works.<br><br>
As for the OB, I'd be really curious if they ever call you to see if you had the baby... Do note this: they will probably charge you per visit and not the universal OB charge. This happened to me, each visit was a co-pay charge and they never did file the universal OB charge so it would have been expensive. It wasn't b/c I refused to pay b/c they terminated my care prior to the sch c/s for my dd who was born at home. Nananabooboo to them!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,935 Posts
Discussion Starter · #13 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by</i> <b>Metasequoia</b><br>
I am a tad nervous about how to handle the OB afterwards, I'm afraid they'd be nasty if they thought I UC'd purposely. I suppose if I get the babe checked out, they can't actually *do* anything. Just don't want to draw negative attention, kwim?</td>
</tr></table></div>
I understand. I would always say it was accidental, if I had to talk to an OB about it. I also tell myself that even if they get irritable, it's not like we have to be best friends, you know?<br><br>
Good luck to you, with your birth.<br><br>
Faithhopelove, ugh, what an experience. I'm sorry you went through that.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by</i> <b>Electra375</b><br>
I would not take a healthy infant to the hospital. I do feel if you were to call 911 after the birth, you would get all those nb procedures, a stay in the hospital like you had given birth, the works.</td>
</tr></table></div>
That's my feeling, too. I've been thinking, for the last couple days, if I have the baby at home, and then go into the hospital, I might as well have just been in the hospital from the get go.<br><br>
Especially b/c of dd's birth, I can imagine they'd do extra tests, and other things, just because of delivering without anyone 'professional' there. Blech.<br><br>
I wonder what the OB will do too.<br><br>
It is going to be interesting, because as I get closer, I know I"m going to be refusing things left and right, and I figure there's a chance he might drop me, anyway. I know he'll want to do internal exams at about 37/38 weeks, and that's not going to be happening. And I also know he's big with NST's, just because he likes to pop babies out as soon as he thinks they're ready, and again, that's not going to be happening, either.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,292 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>faithhopelove</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Well, we knew better and fought the command. (which is pretty gutsy, but we KNEW they were wrong!!!) He had to go againts the base commanders direct order. In the end... they had to apologize to us for saying something was a rule when it wasn't.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<br>
nicely done! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"> silly military<br><br>
lizzie
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,551 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Katana</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Thanks for the replies, ladies. Great advice. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br>
I also think he's busy enough with all his inductions/C sections, that he probably only remembers me when I'm in the office and he's looking at my chart. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/fingersx.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="fingersx">:</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
You also might spare yourself the hassle of coming in every week, in the last month, and just go every two, like I did, and that way you don't have to hear crap about induction, etc....<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">As for the hospital, I already know they won't know/care if I don't come in. It's ironic that I pre registered at this same hospital for ds, and then ended up having a hb. I stayed pre regisitered with them, just in case, but never contacted them, and no one ever called me. I'm guessing if I don't show up for this one, I won't hear anything either.<br><br>
I know from having to go in to a hospital for dd that you can be pre registered, but it really only matters when you come through that ER door, then you're really there. I think pre reg is mostly them holding a hypothetical space for you, but if you don't use it someone else will.</td>
</tr></table></div>
Yep. That is the way it works, first come first served... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I'm feeling better about this, and so appreciate all the thoughts here. Thank you.</td>
</tr></table></div>
We thank YOU!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,551 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>faithhopelove</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">The only people we were harrassed by was our Air Force base. They were just all up in our business from about 39wks. A neighbor decided to rat us out to the base hospital... I guess her hubby went in to ask "Is it *ok* if they are homebirthing". Well they said "no its not" and called my hubby's command. They in turn decided to try to force him to make me birth off base. Saying it was against AF Instruction.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
They are a bunch of nosy jerks, and wrong, at that. I did a birth for a Navy couple and it was fine. They just went with the "don't ask, don't tell" and no one was the wiser. and homebirth is much safer than the typical military hospital.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,042 Posts
I'm considering an "accidental" UCA2C with my next baby if I get pregnant again. I've been going to my OB/GYN for almost 10 years and she would definitely notice if I stopped showing up for appointments or didn't tell her I had the baby, so I don't plan on telling her anything until after the fact. Then I'll say, "It was an accident. I didn't realize I was in labor until the baby was coming out." Totally plausible for my family because I didn't realize I was in labor with the twins at first, my mother didn't realize she was in labor with my brother until about half an hour before he was born, and my Granny had totally pain free labors. My Ped doesn't have hospital priveliges at the local hospital so I'll just be taking the baby to his office for the newborn screen. There is no way in Hell I'd take a healthy newborn to the hospital--especially since you end up in the ER with all the sick people if you call 911. I can handle the nursery for newborns but that's it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,867 Posts
Sounds like your dh would push for a visit to the hospital after the birth.I agree that a check of the newborn by the ped would be fine.I did take my UC baby to the hospital,but would not in the future.Nothing bad happened,but it is a very germy place.Also,do prepare for the staff(ob or hospital sw) to call CPS if you don't take the baby somewhere(or even if you do!). I DID take my baby to the hospital AND a ped,but the SW from the place I had planned to birth at lied and told CPS I never took the baby anywhere(medical neglect) for a check up.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,935 Posts
Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Mattenma, I hate that you had to go through that. But I can totally see it happening.<br><br>
When we went in to the hospital with dd, with no paperwork and no doctor, they treated us so badly. We were just trying to do what was "right", you know?<br><br>
I learned a lot from that, and that's why, with my gut screaming, just say no to a hospital, if everything is all right, I'm listening.<br><br>
The other good thing is the pediatrician we'd take the baby to is a homebirth practice, so even if my OB was <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: about what I did, he couldn't claim we went to some hole in the wall.<br><br>
I sound so shallow when I say this, but he (the OB) has some huge family vacation planned right around my due date, and that's all he's talked about since I started seeing him, back in November. I seriously doubt he remembers my name once I walk out the door.<br><br>
And his office is a typical office. They see $$$, not faces. It took them two days to find some papers I needed, a couple years ago. I'm using the chaos and disorganization to my advantage, for once.<br><br>
I hope.
 
1 - 19 of 19 Posts
Top