Ok, first let me say that I have personal problems with my IL's, (think Everyone Loves Raymond, with the controlling-poor-me-I'm-such-a-perfect-wife-and-mother MIL and the too-obedient-to-say-something son) so this may be a problem with me, that's why I wanted to ask here. When we visit my IL's (they live across the street btw) they are so annoying (in my eyes) with dd (16 months) For one, they want to hold and hug and kiss on her, and she wiggles away from them. She just wants to run around and play. For two they will let her play with the glass chess set (among other things, this is just what it was tonight) for a minute and then when she is too rough (DUH!!) they say ok, no more. But leave the chess set on the low table! Or hold her up to play with the light switches, and then all of a sudden decide it's not a good idea. It frustrates her (and me). Or they are SOOOOO da*n loud. They will say "Abby, Abigail, Abby, Look look here Abby, Abby, Abigail, Abby, look what I have Abby Abby Abby Abby Abby" (no kidding, my FIL said her name 5 times in a row!) It's is so aggravating. DD seems fine. I always take her if she cries or seems at all uncomfortable. I am seen as the mean controlling (regarding dd) DIL by them. It makes me not want to visit. The volume level when they speak to her is way above MY comfort level. I try to model how we speak to dd by speaking softly, and calmly. Calling her name one time and then going to her and touching her getting on her level, ect. They dont get it. Should I say something (to dh or them) about it? Or is this one of those things I let go, since there will eventually be another thing I have to talk to them about? Since I am the only one that seems to be bothered by it? DD has a good time with them, she is happy to see them, so I think she is ok, it's just the constant squeaking of the annoying toys they have, the loud voices, the funny faces getting right in her face, I would smack them if they did that to me! But I generally like quiet anyway, so is it ok for dd to be exposed to this once in a while (1-2x per week, 1-2 hours at a time)? I am trying to do things like in the book The Unprocessed Child, so I am creful as to what I say to her and pretty much allow her free reign, so how much will she be affected by other people who dont treat her the same way? Where it's not ok to touch or play with whatever? I mean she will eventually encounter rules (even if its not at home per se) in her life right? She will eventually have people tell her no, right? (IL's DO NOT correct her, btw, they know I would kill them!) And my last question is, in our culture (spanish) it is customary to kiss on the cheek as a greeting. My IL's are kinda pushy (by asking over and over and over for a kiss) with dd. Sometimes (most times) she will lean in for a kiss, but when she doesn't I usually say, how about blowing a kiss, and she does that. I do not ever want to convey the message that people bigger than you can ask for physical affection and you should give it to them to dd. I want her to say no if she feels like it, if she is uncomfortable. But since this is part of mine and dh's culture, everyone in our family does the kiss thing. How should I handle this? Will she be harmed by growing up being kissed, even when she wouldn't necessarily choose to?