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You know, I thought this place would be somewhat supportive and less self-centered than parents.com people tend to be. I thought that after seeing how supportive and helpful the people are on the pregnancy stuff regarding homebirths. But I guess I was wrong. You guys jump on someone for trying to explain the situation, because they used the term "step grandson" and "biological grandson". So, if you don't like those terms, than how does someone explain their family dynamic.

If the last poster would have bothered to read my last posts down below, you would see that I am also a "step grandaughter" to someone.

This place is more judgemental than parents.com ever was, when it was at its worst points in time.
 

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I know your frustrated, and your in laws aren't fair to you. And I'm sorry.

But as someone who plans to adopt and who expects all ils to treat my child (who will be on no blood relation to them) as "real" family, and as someone with a half-sister who has watched my grandparents (who are of no blood relation to my sister) treat her as "real" family, I am always hurt by children being catorgaoried as "real" family (i.e. blood relation) and not "real" family (i.e. no blood relation).

Graddparents do play favorites. It is unfair and hurtful (cruel, really), I know. But if they like this grandchild (or this sil) more than they like your chidren (or you), rail against that and not against the fact that the favoried child is "not really" a family member.

It drives me crazy everytime the news media says "This is Tom and Katie's first child. Tom has two other adopted children with Nicole." WTF? The subtect of that is that thia is Tom's first "real" child.
 

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Yes, favortism of grandchildren is usually about favortism of the child who has the grandchildren. Me and my siblings (including my sister, my grandparents' step-grandaughter) were favored by my grandparents over my two cousins simply because my grandparenst favored my dad over my aunt. As a child, it made me feel funny (I could see it - once my grandma came into the livingroom fussing at my cousin for changing the TV channel; when I explained that I, not my cousin, had changed it, she said "oh, that's OK then." Seriously.
:

But my two cousins (who must have felt it too) still had a meaningful relationship with my grandparents. I am sure it hurt my aunt more than them. And it sounds like your kids have great gp's in your parents!
 

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I feel for your situation, these things are never fun. But I do think you ought to stop focusing on the biological versus non-biological. It comes off nasty quite frankly. How we treat our relatives is one thing, but to try to say that bio family should be treated somehow better? I don't get it and it makes me feel less sympathetic to your situation. IF you change how you worded it all, I think you might get better feedback.
 
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