IL's

637 Views 14 Replies 14 Participants Last post by TortelliniMama, Apr 9, 2006

lisap

Discussion Starter · Apr 5, 2006

So when my IL's found out we are having a boy they acted like he was going to be heir to the throne. They all screamed and said "thank God,this is what we have been praying for." SIL said "I thought it was just going to be another girl, but a boy is wonderful." MIL even said "I asked grandma to visit, she said she would if it's a boy." I'm very ticked with them and I hate the way they are poutting so much emphasis on the fact that this baby is a boy. I feel they are forgetting the fact that DD is a girl and that boys don't rule the world! I can't stand even being around them (for so many more reasons than this). DH has asked them to stop, but I still feel angry with them.

Sorry, just had to vent!

1 - 15 of 15 Posts

BelgianSheepDog

· #2 · Apr 5, 2006

Jeez! I think my head would explode. Argh. Maybe someone SHOULD remind them that hi, they have a granddaughter/niece, and she's pretty cool. How chauvinist and medieval of them, seriously.

acupuncturemomma

· #3 · Apr 5, 2006

Well, and what will they all say if it turns out the baby is a girl??!

grace's voice

· #4 · Apr 5, 2006

I'm having the opposite issue. For several generations on dh's side there have been almost all boys. Only 3 girls, I believe, with something like 32 boys. So, we're having just another boy. Boring old boys. My dd gets a lot of attention because she's a girl, and may be the only girl I ever have and only because she was concieved from my first marriage! My ILs aren't super annoying or rude or anything (though I'm sure the fact that they live in Singapore helps!), but I do feel like this baby isn't quite as special to them as he would be if he were a girl.
I'm sorry they're making you feel like this. Family can be tough, in my case it's MY family that drives us nuts though!

*guest

· #5 · Apr 5, 2006

I'd dress him in pink and call him Sally the first time they see him. "Oops, the ultrasound was wrong/it fell off!" But then again, I am just a cranky pregnant lady.

It's me!

· #6 · Apr 5, 2006

My situation isn't as obvious as yours, but around here I feel my DD is treated/wanted more than my DS and he is so wonderful and always has been. She is my sweetie, but a much more difficult child (don't get me wrong, I love her and wouldn't change a thing about her...I"m just saying he doesn't deserve second class citizenship). He is the oldest and there was dissappointment at his birth (my dad, no longer in my life) and he has always been treated different than my DD (who is 4 yrs. younger). Now I'm having another boy and I'm worried about how he will be treated. Do I want it to be confirmed that it's a boy thing and then I'll have to protect BOTH of my boys, or do I want to be proven wrong and find that it's not a boy thing and for some reason my first son is just picked on. I don't think he has noticed (I stay away from the people that are guilty). But I even have to point out to DH how differently he treats the kids and get him to STOP sometimes.

See less See more

2boys4us

· #7 · Apr 5, 2006

4

Sorry you are dealing with rude IL's

thats why Im glad mine live 8hrs away

I know how you feel though Dh called his mother to let her know we are having a girl (family of all boy grandchildren) she acted mad

:
Dh sister is also preggo and she is having a boy. I guess she wanted her to have a girl not us

See less See more

Amys1st

· #8 · Apr 6, 2006

I'm glad they are not my ILs! We have all girls in this house and no boys in sight! Both sides were thrilled when we found out Maggie was a girl. Esp now with all that is happening, no one would dare to say anything mean. But my ILs said- they had 6 boys (also 3 girls) and they were ready to see girls again.
My parents also have some of each so they didn't care one way or another. Everyone here just wants healthy. Maybe remind your inlaws you are looking for healthy- 10 fingers 10 toes.

lisap

Discussion Starter · #9 · Apr 7, 2006

Thanks mamas. I thought maybe I was just being sensitive, but they can real jerks. I have so many issues with them it's hard to even be in the same room with them.

DD is having some seperation anxiety and FIL suggested to just force her to be apart from me. I looked at him and told him that I would never do that to my child. he is great for stupid advice. DH just looked at me like, WTF?

mimid

· #10 · Apr 7, 2006

My MIL had 4 boys and when people asked if she wanted girls, she said the boys would bring the girls. SO now she has 5 granddaughters (plus our 3) and no grandsons. When we found out all ours were girls, my FILs wife said that she thought I was going to be the one to save the family. Yeah, cause the family is going to fall to ruin if there isn't a boy soon.

PrettyBird

· #11 · Apr 8, 2006

Why can't people just be happy for a healthy baby??? That is so incredibly rude, you aren't being sensitive at all.

Paddington

· #12 · Apr 8, 2006

ouch. sorry about that. my family doesn't know yet what we are having but thankfully my in-laws have both granddaughters and sons so they just care about healthy.

my MOTHER actually is the one who favors boys--my brother in particular so i am sure she will be thrilled that we are having a second boy... she never learned how to deal with us girls.

hang in there and just try to be the balance that your child needs.

See less See more

Avima

· #13 · Apr 8, 2006

3

Jumping in from September.

Oh Lisa.. I think I could have written that

My ILs have nothing but granddaughters, and since I'm pregnant again, SO many expectations are being put on this child (which isn't even 4 inches long yet!) While they adore their granddaughters, I'm just afraid that if this is a boy, my dd is going to feel that her brother is somehow 'better' because he has a penis and can carry in the family name

: I just don't want her picking up on the "boys are better" vibe either. They even keep trying to give name suggestions for "him". My FIL also said that if it's a boy he's going to go nuts, which means he's gonna spoil the heck out of him.

What pisses me off also, is that I just feel like the incubation vessel. This is my kid dammit, not a commodity and prize.
Sorry Lisa.. I just want to say that I'm right there with ya. So I *totally* understand.

See less See more

Caroline248

· #14 · Apr 9, 2006

My MIL just gave my husband and I a long lecture on why it was better to have GIRLS. She said as a parent you are closer to your girls, they are more involved in your life, you are more involved in their life, and you will be with your daughters forever. Sons are just around for a while, and you are never close to them. My poor husband listened to this whole speech in silence. I put my arm around him and said " I am sorry your mother just told you that ...I for one am happy you are a boy". I then told my mother even IF I ever did feel that way, (although I can't see it) I would die before I told one of my sons that.

BTW..we have two boys, two girls, and the tie-breaker on the way...

~C~

TortelliniMama

· #15 · Apr 9, 2006

My MIL keeps mentioning how happy she is that all of her kids have had boys first, and then girls. For some reason, she's convinced that that's the best pattern.

The thing is, I had a miscarriage before ds, and they did genetic testing on the baby. She would have been a girl. My MIL was told about this, but either she's forgotten it or she just doesn't get the connection. Now every time she mentions how much better it is to have a boy first, I want to say, "Oh, well, I guess we really dodged a bullet by losing our first daughter, huh?" So far I've been good and just haven't responded to her remarks. One day, though, she'll probably catch me when I'm really hormonal...

1 - 15 of 15 Posts

This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.