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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I watch my 2 nieces 4 and 5 years old. Their mother is a meth head and their grand parents have custody of them. These girls have NO DISIPLINE. I mean none. They eat chips and ranch for breakfast, watch TV all day, dress lke tiny hootchi mammas and stay up as late as they want.

So here's the thing...I want to bring some discpline into their lives but they are so far gone I don't even know where to start. My mom was border line abusive..you know..real old school, and I find my self slipping into some of her patterns. A couple weeks ago I actually spanked the youngest...I know...I can hardly bare to write it but I just snapped, she was literally shoving a drum stick down my 16 mo olds mouth telling him to "take the bottle" he was gaging and I freaked out.

I try really hard to show them compassion because I know they've had it rough but they really do try my patience.

So where do I start with them and how can I calm my self down when I feel myself slippng into my moms mode of parenting?
 

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First, just make sure your son's always safe, because there's just no way you will easily be able to control yourself with someone trying to stuff a drumstick down a baby's mouth. These kids need a project that includes learning how to care for a baby. Start with a doll and then move to your baby when they seem to "get" it. Show them some videos on childcare. Even some children's videos about getting a new sibling. Do it in a Montessori manner, so that the kids will feel like they are doing something important, grown-up, and something they want to do. (Right now, my 19 month old likes to help me clean-up. It makes her feel like one of the big people! LOL!) If these kids learn a thing or two about being caring and careful with a baby-- it will help you calm some of your fears. Otherwise, it will be hard to take a bathroom break when these children are around your child.

After that, try and create a bit of a schedule for them to put some order and normalicy in their lives. Maybe a regular lunch time. A regular play time outdoors or a regularly scheduled walk and talk. Children should have a few things they can count on in a day, know what I mean?

Then-- start small with the discipline. Just one or two things at a time. They will resist if you try to change everythign about their lives overnight. But they will slowly get the idea that you are introducing things into their lives for thier own good if you take it slow.

Good luck, and I hope you have more helpful ideas coming in.

Faith
 

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Well I'd start with bringing in the positive a clear rountinue can help give some order and indroduce structure. How long are you watching them. If a day plan outdoor time art time music games ect. Provide healthy snacks and meals. Leave the TV off when your around read to them give them what you can to provide the structure and "discipline" lacking from their parents. Keep in mind its not your job to fix these kids but you can provide a safe enviroment and set down guidelines and rules to allow you to successful do your job. You also need to discipline your self and as they've proven un "trust worthy" you ill need to keep your own child with in your sight at all times cause that Chicken incident (putting aside your reaction) could had had even worse natural conquences.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I think I'm going to work on a schedule, and I think the idea on teaching them how to care for a baby is a really great one! Tomarrow think we'll do a whole day around taking care of babies. I even made them some little MT's!

I'd like to say that I do care for these girls. It breaks my heart to come in a see them in front of the TV when I come over. Disney is on ALL day. I've even heard my inlaws tell them "You're getting on my nerves!Why do you go watch TV" They also spank, a lot. I would really like to bring something good into their lives, you know? I'm not just a baby sitter, I'm family and I feel like I have certain obligations to them.

Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post and give me some ideas.
 
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