I'm at my wits end. He won't STAY asleep.

651 Views 11 Replies 8 Participants Last post by LizD, Jun 29, 2004

Phoebe

Discussion Starter · Jun 25, 2004

I am at a loss for what to do. I almost just walked away and left him crying on the couch. But I couldn't do it so he's still fighting sleep, just laying across my lap. My baby has started to nap horribly over the past few weeks and it's effecting him and us in so many ways. He will not nap more than 30-45 minutes and he wakes up and won't go back to sleep. I pat him, I nurse him, I rock him, I lay down with him, I leave him there if he is quiet thinking he may resettle, I nap him in his crib with white noise, I nap him on the couch in the basement where I am. Nada, nothing...won't stay asleep. I'm fine with the short nap times except they are not recharging him at all. He wakes up with a yawn and continues to yawn until 15 minutes to 1/2 an hour later he is just crabby and crying and cranky. I can't have fun with him, teach him things or just love on him. He's squirming and fussing and just all around unpleasant...all day

: This has effected his sleep at night as well...and consequently mine too. We went from a well rested mom that never needed a nap but had plenty of time to take one, to a mom that desprately needs a nap but can't get a chance to take one.

Could he already be making sleep associations? He used to eagerly nurse to sleep at night and before sleep during the day. Now he fusses and squirms away from me like hes saying "no way, I know that's gonna make me sleep and I don't want to".
He also becomes clingy and needy at this point and I am always willing to snuggle him and hold him but at 11 weeks he is 18 pounds and by 7pm my back is about to crack. I have tried to wear him in the sling but I dont think I'm doing it right.

Ok I've whined enough and I was able to lay him down on the couch. I'll see if I can join him. I know there probably isn't a real solution to this except time so all I can say is thanks for listening.

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mamachiquita

· #2 · Jun 26, 2004

Have you tried wearing him down in the sling? My now 4 week-old son was the same way. He wouldn't nurse to sleep, he would just scream and spit my nipple out, and when he did happen to fall asleep at the breast, he would still seem slightly awake so that as soon as I moved he woke up. I began to realize that he just needed another way to go to sleep. I got my Maya Wrap and put him in the Snuggle hold (with him upright, cinched to the chest facing me) and walked around with him in it for a little while and he fell right asleep. Now this is the only way that I can get him to sleep! I wait about 10-20 minutes after he has fallen asleep in it to slowly loosen it up and then gently slip it off. When I put him down on the bed, I gently pat his back (yes, he will only sleep on his tummy) and he stays asleep for 2-3 hours average. I think you should give the sling a try - like I said it is the only thing that has worked for us. Oh, and the snuggle hold is really the only hold that this works for us in. Apparently most newborns don't enjoy the cradle hold anyway. Good luck!

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mamachiquita

· #3 · Jun 26, 2004

Just wanted to add that you may think that he doesn't enjoy the sling because he may fuss and fight it if he is really tired, but you need to just keep walking and bouncing and eventually he will settle down. At night my little guy really fights sleep, but after just walking and lightly bouncing with him in the sling for about 30-40 minutes I'm able to get him into a pretty deep sleep. I really think that your baby is fussy when he's awake because he is so overtired. We were definitely going through the same thing, but thank God we found something that works.

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Natalya

· #4 · Jun 26, 2004

I am going through the same thing. I have had great success with the sling too, and that's the only thing that works for us, well that and breastfeeding. "at 11 weeks he is 18 pounds" He's a big boy! He could be going through a growth spurt. Also, do whatever you can to relax. Pray, smoke a joint, listen to music, anything. I find that if I am exasperated it just makes Zane more upset... and I always end up with regrets.

Good luck!

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KrisSharp

· #5 · Jun 26, 2004

I also agree the give the sling another try. Especially taking a little walk outside. When dd gets herself so tired that she can't settle down, as soon as I step outside she is a peace. It's amazing what fresh air will do.

Good luck.

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ShadowMom

· #6 · Jun 26, 2004

This may not help at all, but I *thought* I couldn't put my son down after he went to sleep because he always woke up... eventually I figured out that I kept putting him on his back, and he prefers to sleep on his side... if I put him down on his side, he does just dandy.

This may not help at all but I figured it couldn't hurt!

Phoenix (my son) started to fight sleep at around that same age. Just give it time, and you will figure out a way that works for you!

HTH

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Natalya

· #7 · Jun 27, 2004

Another thing that helped is I put a peice of clothing that smells like me under his head. I also put a pillow on his side that he can cuddle with. How's it going?

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LizD

· #8 · Jun 27, 2004

there's always the car! then carry the seat in and get your nap, fast.

do you burp him? i never burped my daughter but this baby, 3 wo, takes in lots of air somehow, so if i don't burp him he cries or ends up farting and crying.

i also feel better if i've showered, even if i can't get sleep in. i put baby on a towel on the bathroom floor and he's usually ok, but even if he does cry it's only for a few minutes and he can hear my voice and i can hear him. also if he has a stuffy nose the steam seems to help a little.

my daughter slept wonderfully from birth all these ten years and this baby has kind of surprised me. he won't sleep well if i set him down anywhere. he has to be near me or on me or something.

feel better!

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grnmtnmama

· #9 · Jun 28, 2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by KristiMetz
This may not help at all, but I *thought* I couldn't put my son down after he went to sleep because he always woke up... eventually I figured out that I kept putting him on his back, and he prefers to sleep on his side... if I put him down on his side, he does just dandy.

HTH

we also went through this when I started wanted to put him down to nap, I eventually figured out that my ds preferred to sleep on his belly. Once I started to lay him on his stomach he slept for hours at a time. I know about the whole 'back to sleep' message, but i discussed this with the doctor. We agreed that it was better to have him sleep than insist that he lays on his back.

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Flor

· #10 · Jun 28, 2004

Ok, I didn't buy a swing when my baby was born because I thought they were for lazy parents. . . but, my mom bought him one and guess what? He loves it. For a long time it was the only thing that would put him to sleep, that constant steady rythm .He went from 30 minute naps to hour and a half naps. Right now, at 11 months (and 19 pounds! your poor back) he is sleeping in the swing with his long legs hanging off the side. I couldn't get the same results with the sling though we use it for shopping and walks. By the way, I have a travel swing that I can move from room to room and even take to grandma's house.

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Phoebe

Discussion Starter · #11 · Jun 29, 2004

Thanks so much for all your helpful responses. I have been trying to get used the the sling this past weekend. I really need someone to physically show me how to wear him a few different ways. I feel like he's gonna fall out. Otherwise, I was able to resettle him in all his naps on Saturday. It was a great day. Yesterday wasn't so great though. Today he just won't let me put him down. He's fast asleep in my arms and then I lay him down and he wakes up and grins at me...hard to be upset by that one! I have alot of ironing to do!! But, I am seeing though that I can get more sleep at night when I just bypass the co-sleeper side car and just put him in our bed. He slept a 5 hour stretch last night!!! I can't believe I'm doing that..."My baby won't be sleeping in my bed, no sir!" that was me even when I was pregnant

: .
This is all just trial and error isn't it? I wish he could talk!

Amy

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LizD

· #12 · Jun 29, 2004

the sling can be hard with a little one. i have used it for this newborn and it is a little difficult because you still have to support them so much, and be sure they won't slip out. i much preferred the sling when my daughter was sitting-on-hip size.
i was starting to worry this boy has reflux but when i am holding him he sleeps fine, or when we are in bed together (that is absolutely the way to get rest, btw-glad you have discovered it!). in fact i might go buy one of the front-carriers where baby can snuggle to mom and even the kind that tilts so you can breastfeed with it...i liked a snugli better when my daughter was small and the only disadvantage was it was inconvenient for nursing.
he tolerated the stroller briefly today to walk to the neighbor's and back, but the second time was only happy when i carried him home. some of these babies just need more holding. dr sears says babies carried more of the day tend to sleep better at night, so here's hoping, for you and me both!

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