Mothering Forum banner

1 - 19 of 19 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
483 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I intended to wean at a year. As we progressed and I learned more I aimed for at least 2 years. Now at 16 months I feel so very over nursing. Then I feel guilty for my feelings. We struggled from day one with various problems and issues and she has always been a very active (read backflips while latched) nurser. At this point we are down to a few nursings at night and early am, but I feel so over it. I still have to pump at work because I'm gone for 48-72 hours at a time which I hate. These long absences are all the more reason to extend nursing... but I don't think I can deal much longer.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
97 Posts
I don't think I have any advice just support. My dd is FOUR and I am so over it. I have had hot and cold points but this is different, and I feel for you, regardless of the age of the child. Follow your heart. Put yourself in your dd's position. Go slow and deliberate.<br>
N
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
42,824 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
That age is really difficult. But it is a stage. It will pass.<br><br>
hang in there!<br><br>
-Angela
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
19,789 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
It sounds like you are in a really hard place.<br><br>
What I generally recommend is that you really, really think both about what things bother you the most (tweaking, length of nursing, lack of sleep, whatever bothers you) AND what you think it will be like if you wean.<br><br>
Sometimes when you seriously look at the 2nd (what it will be like) you realize that nursing is an easy scapegoat and the problems will actually not go away with weaning but with age.<br><br>
Sometimes if you try to address certain behavriours that are bothering you, you can keep going. 16 months is pretty young, IMO, for many nursing manners but you can definately start on it! It is still your body, you are in a relationship, you can effect it without ending it.<br><br>
Also, another thing you can do is set small goals. And reward yourself for them if it helps. Instead of wanting to CLW, consider trying to make it until 18 months and the reevaluate.<br><br>
Good luck.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
483 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks for the support. I was having a rough day. I spent the first 14 weeks just aiming for "one more day" and I think mentally I'll return to that place and see if it helps. I know she's not ready to wean, so we'll just get through tonight. Again, thanks for listening to my vent and lending kind words.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
483 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Oh and kudos to all of you who tandem and nurse into the preschool years <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> From where I sit now you are amazing women to me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
43,705 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> Parenting can be tough at times!!<br><br>
Doing the "one day at a time" thing is a good approach. Another is to place some limits on the nursing, and see how you both feel after they're implemented. Maybe the changes will lead to complete weaning, or maybe you'll feel better about nursing when you're nursing less often or after eliminating the specific nursing behavior or time that most irritated you.<br><br>
Remember that there's still parenting after weaning. Your child will still need you in possibly annoying ways. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,933 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mom2PJS</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8239856"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Thanks for the support. I was having a rough day. I spent the first 14 weeks just aiming for "one more day" and I think mentally I'll return to that place and see if it helps. I know she's not ready to wean, so we'll just get through tonight. Again, thanks for listening to my vent and lending kind words.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,578 Posts
And, I just wanted to chime in with the notion that 16 months is a very, very transitional time. They are still sorta babies, yet almost toddlers. And, in my experience, toddler nursing is very different (and better in some ways) than infant nursing. It's a very trying time. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
If you can stand it, stick it out; the rewards of toddler (and even preschool nursing) nursing really outweigh the irritations. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,200 Posts
that can be a difficult age. ita with the pp's, one day at a time, small goals.<br><br>
also, maybe you can try to cut back on the pumping at work? i never had to do it very often, but i always loathed it, and women who pump are *my* heroes.<br><br>
and nursing in a quiet, dark room sometimes helps with the nursing gymnastics. my DD used to literally try and stand on her head while nursing at that age. a quiet dark room did help keep her focused. by the time she was two (probably even earlier) she would happily lay there and snuggle with me while nursing, no wiggling at all.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,622 Posts
I weaned one of my children at 17 1/2 months because I thought we were ready for it and I knew no one who had nursed for longer than that, indeed everyone we knew thought I was wacky for nursing that long. But then I totally regretted it so much and regret it greatly now.<br><br>
For one, what will you do when your child cries or gets upset? I found that I had almost no ways to make my child feel better without breastfeeding and that cuddling my child and putting him to my breast was the #1 sure way to make him feel better and then be happy. Without it, things were so much tougher.<br><br>
Next, sure enough, my child who had never had even so much as a sniffle soon got a big huge illness and I didn't have any breastmilk to help him get over it with. I regretted weaning so much!!! I think the breastmilk is what had made him so healthy and had stopped him from ever even getting a sniffle before that and once the antibodies wore off, he was ripe for illness. All the other formula fed babies we knew got sick monthly, on average and had noses that were always running.<br><br>
Plus, just like Alegna said, I truly think this rough spot shall pass, if you let it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Hang in there!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,885 Posts
I'm nursing my 22 month old and I think those feelings are normal (and they come and go!) Since you're gone for such long periods for work, I think nursing is very important because it's such a wonderful way to reconnect when you get back!<br><br>
I think it can be overwhelming to think things like "omg I'm supposed to do this for another 8 months or more?!" So I think going back to thinking of one day at a time would be a big help <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
893 Posts
I just wanted to offer support as well. My DS is 15 1/2 months, and he has suddenly started asking to nurse all the time. He likely nurses twice an hour, all day, and about the same at night. He has also started to push, pinch, wiggle, kick, etc while nursing.<br><br>
All of this is new, so I wanted to say that it really seems age-related, and I'm sure like everything else it will pass.<br><br>
Like someone else suggested, maybe pumping less often would help?<br><br>
winn
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
14,874 Posts
one suggestion for the acrobatics, is turn on some gentle music if your going to be sitting or laying down. Or a nature cd.<br><br>
Or, put her in a sling of some kind, ergo, mei tei whatever, and stand up or walk around. Every now and then, just from fussyness, I'd walk dd around nursing her, it was a little odd at first, but it didn't take long before it was almost as easy as sitting down. She was a pincher, and kicker, and around 6-9 months was bruising both of my arms, all over from pinching and kicking.<br><br>
So, I walked around again, and after about a week, I could start off walking, then sit down, then after a week or two of that, I could stay seated.<br><br>
I'm sure a lot of it is the age, and partly due to the fact that you were looking forward to a calm nursing relationship, instead, you got an acrobat!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
14,239 Posts
18 to 2yr was the hardest for me with both kids. For some reason it is that time that it starts to get on my nerves so bad. I made it through both times but it wasnt easy at all.<br><br>
I am so happy that I was able to make it as far as I did with dd and this far with ds.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
483 Posts
Discussion Starter · #17 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>pixiepunk</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8241699"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">also, maybe you can try to cut back on the pumping at work? i never had to do it very often, but i always loathed it, and women who pump are *my* heroes.<br><br>
and nursing in a quiet, dark room sometimes helps with the nursing gymnastics. my DD used to literally try and stand on her head while nursing at that age. a quiet dark room did help keep her focused. by the time she was two (probably even earlier) she would happily lay there and snuggle with me while nursing, no wiggling at all.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
OK kind of a stupid question if my alternative is weening, but ... the pumping has dominated my life for almost a year now. It is one of the big reasons that I'm feeling so overwhelmed. I hate it, but how much can I cut back? I pump 4 times in 48 hours which is a few times less than she nurses. My supply goes down a bit and she's bent when I get home and there isn't as much milk, biting, pulling like taffy, popping off to look at me and scream then trying over again. After about 3 days at home it's better then on the 5th day I go back to work. If she's not getting much milk when she nurses she freaks out, so I worry about routinely going 48 hours without pumping.<br><br>
She's always been active, down to business then done with nursing, she has rarely nursed to sleep and won't stand being restrained for nursing (no slings, no blankets...), so for now I end the session when she does jumping jacks and back flips, I'll try music.<br><br>
Thanks again for your input. The thought of decreasing pumping is appealing, but the anxiety about supply and the subsequent drama at home is almost worse.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
Okay, so I can't relate to the pumping, but I did nurse my first daughter until about 28 months. I had a miscarriage and just couldn't bare to nurse at night. I cut it off, but she was totally ready. It was easy, and no crying. I think listening to yourself and your baby is essential. I had tried weaning her earlier, but it was obvious she wasn't ready. I think reading the posts on MDC really helped me take it one day at a time. I now have another daughter who is just turning 13 months and it looks like there is along road ahead. I am trying really hard to remember all the positive aspects of nursing past 2 years, but I tell you, my rope is just a little shorter, so it is a major challenge. I think just knowing that you are not alone. so many of us have this challenge and encouraging each other to work through, rather than quit nursing alltogether is really important. I get a lot of people saying "just cut her off, she will be fine" and "she doesn't really need it, she is eating solids now". It makes me so mad, because all I really want is for someone to praise my courage and stamina.<br>
Hang in there, you are doing great.
 
1 - 19 of 19 Posts
Top