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She kidnapped your kids for a day and thinks that *you're* the one who needs to change? The right decision by far!

about the adoption thing. I'm sure your niece will have a joy-filled life with her new parents and it is strong of you to let her go.
 

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You are making what you think is the most sane decision for you and your family - that's always the right thing to do. It's so sad to have to make decisions like this - I'm hoping for stregnth and peace for you and your family.
 

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Good for you. It is the one of the hardest things to do, letting go of someone who is supposed to love and support you. I did it with my mom and it was really hard. Your friends and family are supposed to build you up, not knock you down.
 

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I am sorry that things have come to this. It's very hard to make a decision like that. I can tell you that it does get easier with time though. For us, the more time that passes without the absolute insantity, is all the comfort we need to know that it was the right decision. Occassionally, I wonder, "What if?" but I know that things will never be the way we would like them to be. You may have those feelings as well, and maybe things could change with time. Each situation is different. We are all certain that my MIL has an undiagnosed mental illness, so, unless she gets help, things won't change. Perhaps, if that's not the issue with your MIL, some time apart without contact might give her some time to think seriously about the issues.

 

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Sorry that you have to deal with that craziness.

I have to say that I am really proud of you for letting your neice go if it is going to be another 6 months.
You are still her Aunt and can have contact with her adoptive family if you are supportive of them. Don't give up contact.

Just curious why you aren't taking her as a kinship foster placement now?
 

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Until I read that part, I had forgotten about the "cutting your kids' hair thing", but now I remember it.



I have a MIL who is getting closer and closer to her way out. I'd be done, but dh isn't quite there yet. My therapist says if we keep acting in a normal way (ie setting reasonable boundries with her), she will eventually cut herself out, but I really don't know. I know the pain they can cause. I'm so sorry.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by embalene
You are making what you think is the most sane decision for you and your family - that's always the right thing to do. It's so sad to have to make decisions like this - I'm hoping for stregnth and peace for you and your family.
couldn't have said it better myself
 

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It's not easy to cut those toxic relatives out, but it can give you a respect and a peace for yourself. Honoring your needs ahead of those of a toxic person is a hard lesson to learn, but a healthy example for your children. Hugs and good luck with the pain, it's not your fault.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kerry
Sorry that you have to deal with that craziness.

I have to say that I am really proud of you for letting your neice go if it is going to be another 6 months.
You are still her Aunt and can have contact with her adoptive family if you are supportive of them. Don't give up contact.

Just curious why you aren't taking her as a kinship foster placement now?
We tried, but we didn't even know that she existed until she was 6 weeks old, (my sister and I are estranged) and we didn't finish homestudy process before the 90 days were up. In our state, if the child has been in the same foster home for longer than 90 days, he or she cannot be moved, even to be placed with family.
 
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