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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm crying as I am typing, but I decided this week that I really want to stop bfing. I don't enjoy it as much as I used too and ds will be 3 next month and I don't want to bf a 3 year old. I tried the "go slowly" approach, but I wasn't getting anywhere so I told him we were going to stop and we talked about it for a couple of days and then stopped completely yesterday.<br><br>
I'm thinking about the past 3 years and it makes me so sad. One year ago today, ds was in the hospital with RSV. BFing got us both through the whole awful experience. He bfed constantly for the few months after he was in the hospital. He has been attached to it from birth and I am so sad to finally stop. The last few days have been difficult, but not horrible. He mostly gets upset about it before nap and bedtime as he has never gone to sleep without nursing. He isn't acting more clingy or acting out and is pretty much his normal self so I am hoping that means this isn't too traumatizing for him.<br><br>
I hope he still runs to me after I come home from being out for a few hours and I hope we still have a very close relationship. He is the most lovable, thoughtful child and I just feel so sad this is ending even though I am the one that is encouraging it.<br><br>
I don't know why I am writing this here but really noone understands how upsetting this is for me. Please no responses about how I shouldn't stop as I don't think I can handle that emotionally right now. My body just feels it is time.<br>
Ok now I am sobbing - I better stop here.<br><br>
Thanks for listening,<br>
Lindsay
 

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Sending you <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s because it sounds like you need them right now.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I kow how you feel. I had to stop my ds at 18 months, which was earlier than I had wanted, but I got pregnant and every time he latched on I would start cramping. A few weeks after we weaned he got RSV and I was sooooo sad I didnt have any milk for him to nurse. I did let him latch on and suckle a bit, but he didnt stay long because there wasnt any milk left. I look at him sleeping at night and do feel very very sad about ending that relationship. And then I feel guilty because I will probably nurse this next one for over 2 years at least.... so my older ds is being cheated.<br><br>
On the upside, he is finally sleeping thorugh the night, and so am I. That hasnt happened for a very long time.<br><br>
hugs Mama. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Btw he still runs to me when I get home from an errand. I still snuggle him to sleep at night and<br><br>
He still loves me.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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It must be so hard for you right now...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br>
We always put ourselves last, please know you are doing what you want. And a happy mama is a much better mama!
 

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Wow--you are such a great mom for bf'ing your little boy to 3! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> It sounds really hard to be stopping--my dd is still only 16 months so I can't imagine what it will feel like to stop! I think it will be hard at any age. Anyway, congrats to you for giving your baby 3 years. You are wonderful, and I'm sure he will still run to you when you come home. You rock. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Wow, mama, what a beautiful post. You will always treasure your nursing relationship, and I'm sure that it would have been difficult to stop no matter when it happened. Please know that when you are that connected to your lo, oftentimes the two of you reach the same place at the same time - he sounds like he is getting through this just fine, knowing that you are still and always his mama who loves him unconditionally.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
MDC is the best!! I'm totally amazed at the kind, caring moms that respond and help someone that they have never even met. Your comments and support have made me feel so much better.<br>
Thanks so much!!
 

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<span style="font-family:'Century Gothic';"><span style="font-size:medium;"><span style="font-size:small;">I went through the same torturous decision when my son was about 3.5. I felt so guilty! But I NEEDED to be done and he just didn't want to slow down at all.<br><br>
But in the end, I think it was harder on me than on him. Sure, we had a rough week or so, but then he was ok, and we had lots of hugs and cuddles and did other things to reconnect. He still has great, happy feelings about breastfeeding (he's 5 now) and tells me how good "baby milk" is with a wide smile while he watches his little sister nurse. I was <i>very</i> nervous about how he would react there, because I conceived only a couple of weeks after he weened. He was very interested when he first saw her nursing, and fascinated when I started pumping to leave milk with daddy while I was at school. He asked if he could have some of the baby milk, so I said sure, and poured some pumped milk into a cup for him. He was thrilled, and felt special and has never had a problem with his sister nursing - he knows it's a good thing and that he's both a big boy, and still very loved. Hearing him talk about it, I know I'm raising a bf supporter and that no matter how it ended, it left a positive mark on him.<br><br>
Take comfort, you have done wonderfully for you're little one, and I'm sure he'll feel the love you gave him in those three years for the rest of his life. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"></span></span></span>
 

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Yes, ITA with the others that you deserve huge hugs and kudos for having given your child such an awesome start in life. It's sad to stop, I know, so definitely allow yourself to grieve this chapter of your life/lives together. But you done good, Mama. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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i think that it's amazing that you nursed your son for 3 years!! you should be very proud of yourself! congrats to you for doing what is best for you and your son!
 

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I'm sure he will still run to you when you come home from being out, and when he is upset, or has an owie, or just needs some loving...etc. You're his awesome momma! Nothing will take away the amazing gift you have given him of nursing for 3 years, and the bond that it's formed between you <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> 3 years, that is awesome!!! I've found it so bittersweet that the nursing part of my relationship with DS is coming to an end, but am realizing that it is only one little piece of the huge bond we share together.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Thanks again everyone for helping me through this. Today is day #2 and ds is doing pretty well. This morning he asked for mummies and when I reminded him that we are not drinking mummies anymore he said "OK, I will just sleep with mommy".<br>
Actually, I think I am taking it worse. I can't stop thinking about the last 3 years and get teary eyed every time I think that he will never drink mummies again. I honestly feel bad for people that don't breastfeed and never truly experience that bond. There is nothing like it in the world.<br>
Oh and my other problem is he won't nap without his mummies. He refuses. He is going to bed earlier, but I really miss that midday break! Today I tried to get him to lie down with me for a little while and was pretty unsuccessful.<br>
Anyway, thanks again for all the support. It is nice to know that others know how you feel.<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/flowersforyou.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Flowersforyou">:
 

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I cried for a week after I realized my son was done with nursing. I didn't wean him, but he lost interest with me not having milk. I wanted to nurse him to 2, but he stopped just short of being 18 months old <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> He is still a total mama's boy and will stick his hands in my bra for comfort when he's nervous, so apparently weaning didn't harm our attachment, he's just as attached now as he ever was. But it was such a special time when we nursed, I really miss it. Allow yourself to grieve-really. This IS a loss, even though most people around you won't understand that. You have to mourn it and move through it, talk about it until you don't feel the need to talk anymore. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>littlemomma</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10784688"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">What did you tell him was the reason for not drinking nummies anymore? How did that conversation go? I'm just curiuos.</div>
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Well for the last month I have been thinking about stopping so I started conversations about getting older and stopping mummies. I started letting him nurse for a minute or two and then taking him off before he got the milk. This way, I was decreasing my supply to make it more comfortable when I did wean and getting him used to having less milk.<br>
Then last Thursday I decided that this was it and I wanted to be done. I told him that we were going to have mummies today and on Friday morning, but then mummies have to go bye-bye because he was growing up and mommy didn't have anymore. I kept talking about it all day and told him that daddy and I would have a celebration for him and let him pick out a special toy. So on Friday afternoon my husband and I took him out and let him pick out a toy and rented his favorite movie. Then, when he asked to have mummies, I reminded him that we had a celebration and mummies are all gone. He is taking it better than I thought and like I said I am the one having a really hard time. I honestly can't even think about it without crying. I can't believe how emotional it is for me!!<br>
Are you thinking of weaning your LO?
 

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Well, kinda. I weaned my first at 18 months and it was soooo easy. I can't figure out how this one will ever wean, and if I do it myself, I have no idea how to go about it. Some days I really want it to be over, and then other days I'm glad it is not. I don't know...
 

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<span style="font-family:'Arial Narrow';"><span style="font-size:large;">Great Job Mama! and <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s to you and your ds</span></span>
 
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