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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
How do you SAHM's do it?<br><br>
We've been basically at home since Friday because of the snow. And I'm so bored! I think DS is equally so. I'm just counting down this last hour until bedtime comes.<br><br>
As a WOHM, I usually treasure all the moments with my DS--coming home every night to cuddle and play and read and feed him. We've read all the books, played with all the toys (including the ones that we save for when we're bored with the normal ones), and he's still going. Maybe it would be easier if he was talking, and we could carry on a conversation.<br><br>
I'm just feeling so DONE with it all. After only 3 days! How do you SAHM's do it? I admire your perseverance and dedication!
 

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I'm a WAHM but I'm a painter and work on comission so it depends on what I have on otherwise I'm just a regular SAHM. I adore it, we have a big garden and DP grows all our own food so I have to tend to that, cook food, play with DS, do creative stuff, visit friends, have long walks, potter about. My MIL is often here or my own Ma and we have tons of other visitors so that helps. I have to say that it does get more fun as DS gets older, we can chat away now and he is hilarious.<br><br>
I feel massively lucky to be able to do this.
 

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It makes a HUGE difference when you are not homebound. I have a planned activity for several days a week--parks and rec, music, etc. Other days we go to the children's museum and I'm getting ready to join a homeschooling group.<br><br>
These activities are good for him, but I'd go crazy if I couldn't get out.<br><br>
I try to only schedule one activity a day. Most are about an hour. Some we stay after and play others we go straight home or run errands. I think too many activities are bad (as in, they lose out on self-directed play,) but I figure an hour a day is fine. On library story time day we take the bus. My son adores it. He rides on my back in the ergo to the bus stop. (I need to get there quickly and him walking would take forever.) The bus is a straight shot with no transfers, so its easy. On the way home he can walk and we have grand adventures. Soon it will be too hot to do that, but for now it's fun.
 

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Yeah most of us "SAHM"s are actually more "get out of the house every day" moms. We go to playgroups, the children's farm, the museum, even just shopping. DD is sick right now so we've been stuck in the house much more than usual and I'm going a bit stir-crazy too - to the point that a trip to the basement to change the laundry over is looking mighty good right now. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Also, TV helps. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag">:
 

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I'm a WOHM and I often feel that way when we are stuck in the house. It makes me feel guilty, but there it is. Of course this only happens when she's sick or we've had major snow-- not the most ideal circumstances.<br><br>
I asked my friend who is a SAHM and she said the same things as the PP. They get out of the house every day and that it definitely helps to have a routine.<br><br>
I think just being thrown together for a few days at a time is stressful for both the WOHM Moms and DCs. Plus, I think my DD misses her caregivers and playmates. We both thrive on routine...
 

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Funny, I had a job I absolutely adored and found so fascinating, but once I had a baby, I was so bored at the office and couldn't wait to be able to stay home! (Once my DH finished his Ph.D., I was able to quit.) But yes, as the PPs said, we have TONS of activities, friends, playdates, etc. just about every day.
 

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I think i would probably be bored housebound too. But now that ds is a little older - nearly 2 - there is almost too much to do out of home - visiting the park, toy library, pool, book lbrary, going for a walk with ds' trike, a bike ride with the trailer, visiting one or two friends, playgroup......<br><br>
... and that's not including any of the organised activities we could do - fun music, kindergym, storytime at library, swimming group. We haven't thought about starting any yet. maybe next year.<br><br>
It will be more interesting when your ds is older.
 

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Who has time to be bored <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Seriously though, we have tons of adventures. This time of year is great because we can play in the mud and look for signs of life. Or go on walks in the sunshine. We do lots of art, we bake, we play (or they play and I do stuff I enjoy), we read (together or apart), we do our regular household stuff, we visit friends or exciting places, there are too many things to do and not enough time to do them all. When I had only one young child we could do even more (less people to coordinate, just trying to get 4 out the door takes a while, then everyone has their own agenda).<br><br>
On days that are too cold or miserable to go out I generally come up with a big project to do inside. Once we converted an old shelf into a toy kitchen using objects we had around the house. Another time we turned their beds into cardboard castles, jungle huts, etc.<br><br>
I sometimes feel guilty that I get to spend all day being creative and indulging MY interests while other people have to work. Don't get me wrong, it is hard work being at home and there is a balance between doing what HAS to be done and just having fun, but if I want to spend all day landscaping I can. And I have a bunch of eager helpers. I have learned so many new skills since becoming a mother. Like gardening, building, home renovations, sewing, knitting, etc. Kids are just happy to work along side you, so find what interests YOU and do it. Nothing like demolishing drywall with 3 young kids armed with hammers!<br><br>
As much as I hate to admit it, I can see the wisdom behind my mother's naggings of, "a bored person is a boring person". If I just sat around waiting for something to happen I would be bored and miserable. I need stimulation, mental, physical, and creative. I follow my inspirations and my kids get to learn along side me. I am grateful that life has led me in this direction <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>spughy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10730307"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Yeah most of us "SAHM"s are actually more "get out of the house every day" moms. We go to playgroups, the children's farm, the museum, even just shopping. DD is sick right now so we've been stuck in the house much more than usual and I'm going a bit stir-crazy too - to the point that a trip to the basement to change the laundry over is looking mighty good right now. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Also, TV helps. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag">:</div>
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I totally agree. I usually try to get the kids out of the house atleast every other day. I need the break too!
 

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If you are normally a WOHM, then you're not as plugged in as a SAHM to daytime playgroups, musical shows, indoor playgrounds, etc. That's all.<br><br>
Some people find it boring to stay home and play pretend and others love it and find it their mission.<br><br>
That said, I take DD to the playground, play soccer, go for walks, go grocery shopping with her, watch foreign language videos, read books, visit gardens, listen to concerts, etc. We cook. I also get out her art supplies and let her go to town creating whatever she wants. There's a lot to do. When it's warmer, we'll garden and run around the yard more.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mothragirl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10730500"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">we stay very busy. between getting outside to play, cleaning the house, and cooking from scratch our days are very full.</div>
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OMG I totally agree. I never catch up on the housework because more is constantly needing to be done. (Also I would much rather chit chat on MDC than do the dishes! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> ) Today I had to go find a fed ex drop-off, go to the drugstore to pick up a prescription, go to the grocery store, get home, unload everything, feed baby lunch, get baby in for her nap, relax (now), then get dinner ready, all of this while playing with baby in between for various intervals... I feel like I never get to relax for very long, I cannot imagine having a job outside of the home on top of all my jobs in the home!
 

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I'm a SAHM and I find what's necessary is to plan ahead a little. Every 2 to 4 weeks, I research and make a simple list of activities. Right now, my daughter is 2 1/2 and the list includes things like "wash baby doll" (in sink...also plastic bowls and similar items); "work on matching game together," "sort buttons," etc. I refer to this list whenever I feel bored or my daughter seems bored. I get my ideas off the Internet and from a few activity books I've picked up at bookstores.<br><br>
This is NOT to say my daughter doesn't have free play. She does. But she really enjoys doing things with me. I also learned early on that she LOVES "helping" with chores. It makes her feel so proud, offers lots of learning opportunities, and keeps her happily busy. Right now, she helps me put clothes in the washer, helps me sort dry clothes, helps wash the inside windows, helps pick up, helps dust, etc.<br><br>
Also, as a SAHM, you have to have some things you do for your own enjoyment. Your child always comes first, but during free play and nap times, you should do stuff you love. That might be just reading books and gardening, or it could be something more complex, like working on a dissertation, hobby, or part time job.<br><br>
Kristina
 

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My DD is content to have me read the same five books over and over and over again - that eats up a lot of time. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> I spend a lot of time playing with her and she is generally good enough to let me get some things done during the day.<br><br>
We were housebound going on three weeks because of me being sick and then she was sick. I got out some videos then and took out some new toys I had been saving. Otherwise, we stayed busy enough. But I always have some project I'm working on, whether it is seed starting, cleaning the entire house, organizing, etc.
 

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I think it really depends on the age and temperment of your child. My 15mo son loves to play independently as much as he loves to play with me. I think it great that he can entertain himself. He plays with his toys, the tupperware, puzzles and books. It can get monotonous though to be handed the same book over and over again when all he wants is to flip the pages. We do play dates but not everyday and really these are for me as he doesn't play <b>with</b> the other children.<br><br>
I live in NY and it is winter now, so being outside it not an option...so we are housebound for several months. My daily trips outside the house are limited b/c he's not a good passenger...so our trips to get somewhere need to short but I prefer the errand to be long so it worth the hassle...he is just starting to get better with car rides. Add to it that I am 36w PG and it is TOUGH to be shuffling around a toddler in the rain/snow. I can't wait until spring and being able to go for long walks and play on the swings or just run around in the yard.<br><br>
We do go to gymboree on Sat mornings to do something different...but this is just now fun b/c he walks and stuff...it is different with an infant who doesn't physically do much...just like I know it will be esier in many ways when Jack is older...more options...
 

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Have yourself another kid. With two DSs under two years old, things are definitely NOT boring! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I WOH a few hours a week, but am mostly home. It's great, but c-r-a-z-y! Hardest job I've ever had. Love it, though, too.
 

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I can't speak for other SAHMs, but I know that for me, even when I have rough or 'boring' days, I wouldn't trade them for a day working outside of the home. I just so believe that me being there w/ds is the best thing for him, I don't really have time or energy to think about being bored, or about what else I could be doing.<br>
And yes, like others have said, there are so many fun things to do outside of the home with toddlers that unless I am having a particularly tired day, we are seldom home for most of it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Thanks for such an interesting discussion.<br><br>
I've been thinking about it since the original post, and reading your posts. I noticed that everyone had so many projects, not just spending time with the child. As a WOHM, (who works 6 days/week, one at home), I don't really do those kind of things. Keeping up with my job (which is demanding, fulfilling, creative and stimulating) and keeping up with DS is all I can handle right now. When I am home with him, for those hours from 4-7:30 p.m. every night, it's all about him. We play, read, cuddle, nurse, learn, eat together, etc. (He's not standing or walking independently, so he's not able to "help" yet). Then I do housework after he goes to bed at night.<br><br>
I can easily sustain that every night--and I want to, because it's our time. But no one is 100% engaged with DC 12 hours a day, every day. He gets free, self-directed play all day at daycare. Also, DS doesn't nap more than 1/2 hour, so that's not really enough time for doing anything. My day off is when we get to go out and do some of the activities you mentioned--playgrounds, walks, etc. But after 3 days on the floor playing with DC, 8+ hours a day, I just couldn't think of anything new to do. And it was hard to imagine leaving him to go do some house project, because our time together feels so rare.<br><br>
Maybe I just harbored this fantasy that SAHM's have super-engaged playtime (like we do at night) all day, everyday.<br><br>
Thanks for the conversation! I'm interested in other thoughts.<br><br>
P.S. I must admit, though, I was glad to get back to work on Monday! And I think DS was excited to be in the entertaining daycare environment!
 

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<span>I completely agree with <i>who has time to be bored?</i> I'm always saying how exhausted I am!</span>
 

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We always have something to do.<br>
Home schooling<br>
house cleaning<br>
Cooking....very important in our house....DS has a hard time if there is no food readily available.<br>
art projects<br>
outside time<br>
and only once in a while do I have time to get my sewing done like I would like to so.. sigh.. oh well only so may hours in a day. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
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